Name: Crist, Bonnie "Prince" Billy Studio Session (Ep 329)
Uploaded: 2025-02-27T20:32:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Crist, Bonnie "Prince" Billy Studio Session (Ep 329)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-02-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Crist, Bonnie "Prince" Billy Studio Session (Ep 329)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-02-27. Transcript available.

Crist, Bonnie "Prince" Billy Studio Session (Ep 329)

Hello baby.
I like having fun.
I like to love.
I like to meet people who can make me laugh.
I like having fun.
Yes, I like to love.
I like having fun tonight.
Welcome, my friends, to the show that never ends.
Come inside, come inside, look inside.
I'm Johnny Cage.
Welcome, my friends, to the show.
Oh, I'm getting hypnotized.
What's going on with the hypnotosis?
It's Tim Heidecker here, and I am here to tell you we are live.
It is February 27th.
Look at that drop there.
That was beautiful.
It was beautiful.
I'm back home in Glendale, California, in my garage,
which I did convert into a workspace music recording facility,
then into a TV studio, one of the big TV studios in Glendale,
here in my garage.
And we're excited to be back live.
I'm fresh from the bus.
I arrived, our bus arrived from Phoenix, Arizona, Wednesday morning,
pulled up to JP, the tour manager's house, up in wherever he lives.
I can't remember.
Undisclosed location.
Yeah, let's just say that.
There's a lot of haters.
Yeah, let's not worry about that.
And we arrived in around 9 a.m., unloaded the bus,
and I had to get an Uber because my wife was at school,
and kids are at school, and came home to a nice empty house.
What a wonderful time it was.
How come you, the star of the show, doesn't get dropped at your house?
Well, I don't work that way.
I'm not some kind of diva.
What are you talking about?
Get the people.
Plus, getting that bus up these hills, there's nothing easy about that.
Anyway, we'll get into all of that.
We've got such a great show planned for you today.
We've got music from Bonnie Prince Billy.
What?
Talk about a guy that I used to listen to in college.
Palace music, Palace Brothers, Palace Greatest Pits, Will Oldham,
Bonnie, quote, Prince, unquote, Billy.
Hello?
This is big.
Did a beautiful pre-recorded session.
Yes, it was not live, but who cares?
What's the point?
What's the difference?
I gotta see him on Valentine's Day and Night.
We already had him on the goddamn show a couple weeks ago on Zoom.
That's right.
A few times he's been on.
Anyhow, I got DJ Doug Pound back with me.
Good morning.
And Victor the Burger.
Oh, what's up, everybody?
Yeah.
Tim, when you were gone, I...
I couldn't stand it.
I couldn't stand it.
I couldn't stand it.
I'm happy you're back.
I couldn't stand it.
I couldn't stand it.
Ugh.
What's he doing there?
He's just mad about people coming into this country.
Oh.
That he believes they shouldn't be here.
Oh, yeah.
We were talking about that Trump gold card.
I couldn't stand it.
You hear about the Trump gold card?
I don't know.
Like a credit card?
No.
It's like some kind of...
Like instead of a green card.
It's a gold card for advanced people.
Condoms.
People with high intelligence.
Need that.
Um, well, listen, listen, we got so much to talk about, so much to do.
Um...
I'll give you a bass solo.
That's a great band.
That reminds me of my time in...
Just only last week was I in New Orleans.
Mm-hmm.
New Orleans.
This was wild, folks.
I was...
We had a couple shows left and we...
Our show was at this place called Tipitina.
Tipitinas.
Which is like a storied, legendary rock club down there in New Orleans.
Great spot.
I really liked it there.
We keep it in tip-top shape.
Yes.
Thank you.
We call it sometimes tippy-top shape.
Tipitina.
And we knew this going in, but turns out that it was the first night of Mardi
Gras.
And right in front...
Like, Mac, show this video real quick.
This was literally in front of the entrance to our venue, like, hours before
the show was
supposed to start.
Um...
If you can imagine my...
How I handled this.
Let's see.
There's like...
You can't see.
There's like 40 Elvis impersonators waiting to go.
The big disco balls.
Yeah.
It's like the start of the parade.
It's like where it all gets staged.
That's like out the front door of the club.
And to make matters worse, where like Fred, who turned out to be was a big
secret, but Fred
was...
Fred Armisen was our secret surprise guest for the last few shows.
And he was flying in and arriving at like hours before the show.
And so the poor guy gets like in an Uber from the airport and like the Uber can
only get
so close to the venue.
You know what I mean?
Can you take a float?
He's gotta take a float, transfer to a float.
Yeah.
But...
Much love to Fred because...
I mean, there isn't a guy who's with a more even-tempered kind of attitude,
right?
I mean, you guys don't know, but...
Maybe you do.
Maybe you do.
You've worked with him.
Yes, I do know, Fred.
But it's like, you know, he showed...
He's like, "Yeah, I had to walk here.
I'd walk a couple blocks, but it was fine.
I enjoyed it."
You've never seen him get upset or lose his cool a little bit?
Not really.
How many beads did he show up with?
I got some beads thrown at me and...
And you know what?
I just embraced the whole damn thing.
I couldn't get the smile off my face.
I was walking around...
Did you earn those beads?
It was like...
Yeah, exactly.
There were these like...
There were two separate marching bands in the parking lot across the street.
And there was also like this guy with giant speakers blasting like Christina Aguilera
or something.
It was just a cacophony was the word I'd go with.
And I just thought it was just so amusing.
And by the way, they had to hold doors a couple...
Like a half hour because there's just no way to get people in.
But then as soon as...
Like the parade started and just, you know, as you can imagine, parades...
Once the parade moves from an area, there's no reason to be in that area
anymore.
Right.
Right?
So boom.
Parade goes bing, goodbye.
And then it was a ghost town.
Except for my loyal audience.
Yeah.
It was pretty fun.
I couldn't...
I just thought it was great.
Because you know what it was?
It wasn't like French Quarter malarkey.
It was like...
It was like local parade shit.
It was like the...
It was...
Didn't feel like it was over touristy or anything like that.
Anyway.
Anything else, guys?
What was the best show of the tour?
New Orleans was actually quite high on the list.
And it's surprising because usually you have a bad show in New Orleans.
Usually not a lot of people turn out and they're kind of edged.
They're not a great audience, I hate to admit.
But this Tipitina's crowd were fantastic.
It was packed.
I also thought our last show of the tour in Phoenix was one of the best shows
of the tour.
It was packed and we were on another level.
What?
I believe as a band.
Fred was there.
Doug, probably from your run, during your run, had to have been St. Pete.
Doug.
The rainy one?
No.
That was not a good show.
It actually turned out to be a really...
That was a good show.
It actually turned out to be a fun time.
I'd rather have a small crowd that's like all super into it than a...
Yeah, we had a really interestingly small crowd at a venue that was very
strange.
It was like a mixed indoor, outdoor, had like a canopy, but then...
It was outdoor.
It was outdoor with a canopy.
And of course, it's the one day, one show of the whole run where it was raining
that day of a outdoor show.
I mean, it probably rained other days actually, but...
Right.
And the rain passed, but it was strange.
It was like...
It's meant for...
I think it holds like 1,500 people and there was like 95 people there or
something.
Really?
It didn't seem that...
It was a couple hundred people.
It didn't seem that empty.
But it did...
It was strange.
And we're up on this huge, big stage and...
Yeah.
I don't know how...
I don't know the next time I'm playing Florida again, frankly.
But that's okay.
Yeah.
Big shows.
Doug, you were at the...
No, you weren't at the Chicago show.
Of course, Chicago is always a great city for me.
I should probably just do shows in Chicago from now on.
We got to do Timfest Chicago next.
That's definitely on the conversation.
I want to talk about the things that I don't miss from the road.
That's a subject I was going to tell you about.
Things that I will not miss because I love so many things about it.
I love the show.
I love my band and my crew and Doug and Neil and Fred and everybody that was
with us.
Kyle Mooney.
Yeah.
I have deep, deep love and I'm missing everybody already.
I feel...
A couple of things...
And Doug, if you want to chime in.
Vic, you've been on the road with us.
Oh, yeah.
If you have thoughts.
I think a couple of things.
In random order, automatic faucets when you go into any bathroom.
I love coming home to my house and turning on my faucets and they're just...
Not that I want to waste water, but I'm just...
I will dictate when the water is turned off.
That's not the first thing I would think of.
It is...
Okay.
That's fine.
I told you in no particular order.
Okay.
Okay.
Every time I go into a venue or a coffee shop to use the bathroom, of course,
you guys
know to do number two, you can't do it on the bus, so you're going into coffee
shops,
you're going...
But I have.
I have.
I heard Vic double bagged it a few times.
I did, yeah.
Well, you're not supposed to and that's why you weren't on this tour.
I hear you on the...
Vic, I wanna know how you did it.
It's like...
Fantalizing.
Yes, it's like...
And it goes off.
You gotta wave your hand again.
You can't trust me to turn my own faucet off.
Get the fuck out.
Chances are they have not refilled the soap dispenser.
To continue on, Doug, if you don't mind, venue towels.
You're often given a shower there.
They'll have the cheapest, thinnest one-ply towel you can imagine trying to dry
off.
Guess what I did?
I've never done this before in my life.
Dried up with toilet paper.
Close.
Close.
I had this little shimmy towel, like something you do your car with and I was
shimmying off.
Microfiber.
Then I saw a roll of paper towels.
I said, "You know I'm gonna use these paper towels."
I'm just...
It's not bad.
I mean, I wouldn't do it on a regular basis.
Don't squeeze the shimmy.
Don't squeeze the shimmy.
I don't want any more...
I don't like any more door codes where you gotta get to the backstage and go, "5793."
Right, right, right.
And then I immediately forget what it is.
You know?
I'm not remembering...
I can't remember four numbers.
I can't do it.
They're all random.
It's like, yeah, give me...
Every venue should have one, two, three, four.
Is there...
It's either one, two, three, four or four, three, two, one.
One, two, three.
Or six, nine, six, nine.
Don't go like five, two, seven, three.
One, two.
One, two, four, five.
I have a big problem with America's highways.
It is so bumpy out there.
It is so dis...
It is in such disrepair.
It should be smooth.
One.
You should be like gliding on ice the whole time.
Except when you wanna stop.
And as much as I love my audience, I would say that the small percentage of
people
who get very drunk and then see me after the show and wanna talk,
I have an impression of them that I wanna do.
This is them.
I just wanna say...
I know you don't wanna talk to me.
I know you don't care what I think.
I know.
I know.
But...
You're fucking awesome.
I'm sorry.
You're fucking awesome.
And I'm nice as...
You know, I'm a nice guy.
I'm just like, "Hey, you're okay."
You know, he just keeps saying, "You're good."
And like, "No, you don't give a shit what I think anyway."
But what...
I can't believe you're here.
I can't believe it.
And I'm not drunk.
I'm not drunk at all.
A drunk person talking to a sober person is not a fun dynamic.
You know what?
Just...
Whatever.
And I'm like, "You're good.
You're good, man.
Thank you, Tim."
Don't worry about it.
All right?
Just...
Spaghet and...
Just...
Whatever.
All right, well, I gotta go back.
The only thing is I have to go back inside.
You don't wanna talk to me.
Goodbye.
I do.
No, I do.
And I'm like, "I do wanna talk to you."
I'm expecting...
Let's hang out.
You don't give a shit about anybody but you just shout.
I couldn't understand the words I was saying.
They must come up to you all the time.
Oh, I mean...
Doug!
Oh, shit.
Fuck.
You don't...
Go.
You don't wanna talk to me.
No.
They...
They don't say that.
Wh