Name: Kurt Vile, Berger Family Reunion (Episode 339)
Uploaded: 2025-05-08T19:27:17.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Kurt Vile, Berger Family Reunion (Episode 339)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Kurt Vile, Berger Family Reunion (Episode 339)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-08. Transcript available.

Kurt Vile, Berger Family Reunion (Episode 339)

I do not push poo out of my butt.
I like having fun.
I like to laugh.
I like to meet people who can make me laugh.
What's up with the levels, folks?
I like having fun.
Yes, I like to laugh.
Oh!
Everybody, oh!
Oh!
Good morning.
Good morning.
Hey, good morning.
Good morning.
Tim Heidecker here, the host of Office Hours Live.
We are live, and it is the date of May 8th.
And we're coming to you live from beautiful Glendale, California.
My goodness.
It is a beautiful, sunshiny.
This is Sunshine Day.
It's a Sunshine Day.
And I, despite this, I've been struggling, struggling with congestion.
And I believed I had a cold, and it wasn't going away, even though I felt fine.
You know, you feel, you know that thing where you feel, I'm like, I'm not, my
energy levels
are great, but I've got this stuff, you know, was in the cough and the sore
throat for two
weeks, and then I say to the guys this morning, I just got to be honest with
you, I am congested.
And Matt and Vic, both almost like zealots for alternative medicine, tell me it's
allergies.
That's it.
That's what they believe it is.
So I went upstairs, I grabbed a Claritin D, dude.
Now you're Claritin.
Claritin diarrhea.
But I don't know, it's just, it was too soon to tell if it's having an impact.
I just wanted to be clear with you guys.
Not only that, I didn't even tell you about my back.
I threw my back out.
All the way.
And so I'm barely holding it together today.
How'd you throw your back out?
Oh, it's embarrassing.
That's what I was looking for.
It's embarrassing, Doug.
I won't be speaking about it on the show.
Jackin?
Doing some lumberjackin.
Toolshed jackin.
No.
Mom, I want to vape.
I'm not masturbating.
All right.
We got family members in town, in the studio, Doug, please.
Speaking of masturbating, king of masturbating.
The king of masturbating is here, DJ Doug Pound.
Good horning.
The master.
Did you hear this news, Tim?
We're going to be changing the name of the French horn to the Horn of America.
That's big news.
Wow.
The French, really?
Was that an ADI thing?
I saw it on the internet.
It's got to be real.
I don't know.
Well, good morning to you, sir.
Good morning to you, sir.
And today's show really is all about the burger.
I know.
True.
You know?
Let's just be clear.
We have many burgers here.
But the prime burger that you're familiar with is...
Chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, hamburger, hamburger.
Prince of the whack job.
Vic the Virgin Burger.
Here I am, everybody.
One day.
One day.
What sip, everybody.
And I was thinking I should do a, hello, everybody.
I haven't done that in a long time.
Throwback.
Chicken, burger.
Get a lot of letters.
People wishing they had that back.
Whatever happens to...
Hello, everybody.
Hello, everybody.
Of course, there's something about this that I like when I'm a little congested
because I
got a little bit more of a tenor.
A little bit more of a bass timbre.
Bam!
Bass timbre.
That's right.
Captain Carlin here running the show.
If you want to be on the show, you can, of course, join the Zoom room.
You can also call us at the Hothead Hotline.
We love taking calls.
Give us a call.
What's Captain Carlin got over here?
New merch, which I don't like to sell.
Look, it's tackle.
What, cat got your tongue?
What's the matter?
Yeah, I'm just showing the merch.
I'm very focused on it.
You're wearing the merch.
You can put this on your car.
If you see a Maserati driving through Glendale, that's Tim with this on the
back of his car.
I don't have a Maserati.
I like having fun.
I like to laugh.
License plate holder, you can get it.
OfficeHours.MerchTable.com.
You ever see those Maseratis that are just like regular sedans?
Yeah, they're making like SUV Maseratis now, too.
You see those?
No.
They make Lamborghini SUVs and Maseratis.
Come on, this ain't Tom Segura's show.
Let's move along, okay?
We are on Pope Watch.
New Pope has been indicated through the white smoke.
They've chosen a pope.
I'd like to be Pope.
If you're not familiar, if you're not following breaking news, then you're
getting this news
first.
We're happy to deliver it to you.
I do want somebody to be on watch for, because they've said there has been a
new pope, but
we don't know who the pope is.
We're hoping it's Pope Pizzabala.
Does anybody still smoke dope around here?
Apparently, there's this mayor of...
Oh, he's a...
What are you talking about?
Mayor?
He's a...
Cardinal.
Cardinal of...
Give us a little scoop on this, Vic.
You did a little research on this before the show.
Pizzarama?
Pizzabala?
Pizzabala.
He's from...
What is he?
Cardinal of Jerusalem.
Of Jerusalem?
Jerusalem.
Apparently...
Pierre Batista.
I can't hear...
Pierre Batista Pizzabala.
I glossed over this.
I think the one thing I saw was that he had offered to be a prisoner to swap
out.
I don't know.
He's...
Is this guy one of...
I mean, I mean, you know, is he one of the good guys here with the...
What's going on in Gaza?
I think maybe.
Who knows?
Supposed to be on the right side of history.
People will correct me if I'm wrong.
Time to deliver a piece.
He's got a cool hat.
He's got that going.
But he's a top contender, they think.
So we'll have to keep in touch with this story throughout the show.
And hopefully we'll find out who the new Pope is.
Time to deliver a pizza ball.
Wow.
What's that from?
Is that Eric Andre?
Yeah.
Time to deliver a pizza ball.
I made that jingle, too.
Nice.
Nice.
Yeah, but I hope we get Pizza Ball.
Pizza Ball Pope?
That would be sweet.
He's got his own jingle ready to go.
Well, I'm just pleading with him.
If it turns out to be Pizza Ball, you know how these dudes, they go, what's
your name now?
That's a weird tradition with the Popes.
Oh, they changed.
He's going to change his name.
My name's going to be Peter.
Maybe he'll change it to Calzone.
How about Peter, Joe, Joseph.
They go biblical.
They go biblical.
Yeah.
It's like my joke I used to try to do.
It never really worked, but I'll give it to you guys now.
There's got the four Gospels, you know, Doug?
Yeah.
Stick with me here.
Matthew, Mark, Luke, and Brian.
Yeah, it's like Matthew I get.
That's very biblical.
Luke sounds very biblical.
John is very biblical.
But Mark.
This is one of Jesus' best friends, Mark.
Can you imagine Mark?
How come there's a Mark back then?
There's no Mark.
Nobody was named Mark.
They were.
I guess they were.
That's what they're saying.
Many are saying that they were.
Oh, hi, Mark.
Oh, I got that.
Shit, I got that.
I know.
Hey, look, here's crazy old Mark to tell us about his old friend Jesus.
Oh, hi, Mark.
Yeah, apparently he's writing a book.
Keep the Calvins on.
How many chapters, right?
Oh, easy now, Vic.
Wait, you didn't even get the other Vic in here, did you?
Yeah, we got it.
I'm trying, but he.
That's all right, yeah.
Real slow.
VB3 is our special guest today.
That's the dad, Victor Burgers.
Victor Burgers IV, father, is here in town.
I love you, Daddy.
How are you?
Okay, good.
Good to see you.
Go, Eagles.
No, no, you see you've been away from Philly.
Go, Eagles.
Daddy, good.
You got to go.
Go, Birds.
Go, Birds.
That's it.
Go, Birds.
They were telling me that.
Fair enough.
Go, Eagles.
Go, Birds.
Message received.
Not only do we have Victor Burgers III in studio, we have Lynn Burgers.
Harder, Daddy.
And wait, were you talking about a famous stinky cheese there?
Lynn Burgers?
You got it.
She'll start using her middle name now.
Go home to Mommy.
Lynn Elizabeth.
You should definitely change your name and get out of this relationship with
Vic Burgers III.
I think it's been plenty of time, right?
And Tracy Burgers, who we didn't know existed.
I just found out today.
Uh-oh.
Wait, wait.
What the hell's in my yard?
Oh, look at this.
Something's in my yard.
What's this?
We got to.
Wait.
It's Bigfoot.
Bigfoot.
Uh-oh.
Bigfoot's here.
We got a raccoon coming in.
Kurt Burgers.
We got a raccoon.
It's our man.
Hello.
That was funny.
It's our man.
How did we time that?
Hey, come on in.
Come in.
That was hilarious.
Where's your guitar?
Where's your guitar?
Look who's good morning to you.
There's our special guest.
Go Birds.
Hello.
Go Birds.
Get him a microphone and some headphones.
Oh, boy.
So cute.
Good morning.
Wait, hang on.
We got to get you on mic because we have a special guest here, recording artist,
one of the great
artists of our generation, Mr. Kurt Viles suddenly rolled in.
Let's hear it.
Viles is blowing in with the burgers.
You just rolled out of bed?
Sort of.
I actually set my alarm for 10, but I got up at 9.30.
Well, let's break some news here.
All right.
This is made possible because you are an esteemed house guest of mine this week.
Is that correct?
It is true.
How about that?
How about it?
Look at me.
It's beautiful.
Give me your table for me.
Oh, thank you.
Now, someone was telling me the last time you were on the show, the burgers
were here.
It adds character.
Is it true that the last time you were on the show, the burgers were here?
I don't remember.
I was at your show in Philly.
Okay.
And they're always at the Philly shows.
And they brought you up to the guest star there.
And we hung out backstage.
Okay, that makes sense.
He didn't leave your side.
He was backstage.
Vic was just like, it's my dad.
There he is.
It was awesome.
Well, everything good in the guest house?
It's beautiful.
The first night I stayed here, I was very delirious.
And then I went to sleep, and then all my dreams were just, I was in the guest
house.
It's just like one room.
I think that's a good sign, right?
Yeah.
No, it's beautiful.
Last night, Kurt, well, Kurt, you're here, I mean, let's be honest, you're here
working
on a record.
Uh-huh.
Working.
Which we're all excited about.
Thanks, bro.
And last night, you took me out to a really exciting show.
Can we talk about that for a minute, real quick?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Who did we see?
We were at the Wiltern, and we saw...
One O'Tricks Point Never.
One O'Tricks Point Never.
I can never get...
I can't get used to saying that yet.
It's a common thing that when people ask what...
It's hard to...
Whatever.
Once you know, it's fun.
And...
I've been trying to get him on the show.
And Laraji.
And Laraji.
Do you know Laraji?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love Laraji.
He plays the hammer.
It's like a...
Yeah, he plays like mallets on...
Is it a dulcimer?
And auto harp.
Auto harp, yeah.
And other things.
That was beautiful.
Now, can you imagine my lovely audience out there who knows what you might get
at a
One O'Tricks Point Never show?
Can you imagine me watching that?
Yeah, it was pretty awesome.
It was pretty awesome.
At one point, you turned to me and you said,
This is unbelievable.
Yeah, it was.
It was heavy.
But after 40 minutes...
I've been trying to get him on the show.
After 40 minutes...
Nope.
Doug, I've never heard you once.
I suggest this.
Yeah, because you don't...
It goes...
Well, no.
Yeah, right up your alley, Doug.
We got to start recording our Zoom meetings.
Because then I could go back.
Yeah.
Maybe you did.
I met him, but we hung out before.
And we hung out before the show, which was nice.
We got to spend a little time with him.
But after 40 minutes, all due respect, I was like, I have to get some rest for
the office hours show.
And I was still feeling a little congested.
So I got out of there.
Because I felt like, how long did that go on for?
Because it's an assault.
Dude, it gets better and better.
I bet.
I bet.
I don't want to give away too much of the show, but they say puppets, it gives
it a bad...
Like, they're not puppets.
No, they're like dioramas or something.
Yeah.
But it, like, it just...
It was fantastic.
It keeps going up and up and up.
And also, my favorite songs are towards the end.
There's a song called Crumville.
You would love that song, Doug.
I mean, you would too, Vic, but this guy makes...
Yeah.
It was so much.
I saw this guy blow his head out.
I'll try to send you a little clip of what I saw.
But it doesn't do it justice.
Anyways, it was great.
It was good to go out with you and be with you and your bass player.
Y