Name: Smashing the Patriarchy with Emma Vigeland, Donald Borenstein (Ep 364)
Uploaded: 2025-11-14T20:21:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Smashing the Patriarchy with Emma Vigeland, Donald Borenstein (Ep 364)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Smashing the Patriarchy with Emma Vigeland, Donald Borenstein (Ep 364)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-14. Transcript available.

Smashing the Patriarchy with Emma Vigeland, Donald Borenstein (Ep 364)

I love it!
I like having fun
I like to laugh
I like to meet people
Who can make me laugh
I like having fun
Yes, I like to laugh
I like having fun to meet people
I like to laugh
Good!
Good!
Good!
Look at this!
Look at this!
Look at this everybody
I'm dunked up
I'm dunking it up here in Massachusetts
Wow
What's up everybody?
It's Tim Heidecker here
Coming to your remote
You got your Dunkin' diaper on?
Dunkin' diaper
Is that one of yours?
Is it a little syrup in that thing?
What flavor do you get?
I just got a coffee with cream and sugar in there
I just got it sent to me and
Is this terrific?
Is it watery?
I usually gotta put the vanilla in that
No?
Tastes like shit?
Alright, well
Titten's zoning out and he's staring into the lights
I can't, I don't know
He doesn't wanna do this
What are you wearing by the way?
What do you mean?
It's just a hat
It's a hat on a hat
No, on your body, on your skin
Oh my god
I'm Persian today
What is that?
Look at this
Can you see?
What is it?
Oh wow
It's a shirt
From what culture is that?
From the country of Persia, I think
Is that a country?
Is that a country?
No, it is not
It is now Iran
I'm the Prince of Persia today
You are the Prince of Persia in my book
I just think it's a nice shirt
It's comfortable
Doug, what's the material of that shirt?
Or Vic, you can answer if you know
I would guess it's not natural fibers
Oh, no
It's Persian silk
I'm saying rayon
I'm saying rayon
Okay
Bamboo
It could be bamboo
It just looks good
It could be a blend
Which is against the Bible
Oh, that's true
That's true
Alright, well let's get the show started
This is, ladies and gentlemen, quiet
Clear the air
This is Tim Heidecker coming to you on a Friday
Friday, November 14th
From across the country
From Glendale to Massachusetts
We are live
You go to the River Charles, Tim?
I drove across it on Saturday
Oh, there you go
On Saturday
I'm in a little town
I'm in a little town called Acton
Oh, okay
Oh, how apropos of your career
Exactly
I was hoping I can ask if it's like more
It's where all the Acton
Is it more than a feeling?
It's where all the Acton happens
Is it more than a feeling to be there?
No, but I passed by the future
The future home of the Guitar Museum of New England the other day
Oh, that's very cool
The Guitar Museum of New England
Who would be in that?
Joe Perry
Whoever is in Boston
The guy from Boston
And that's it
Pixies
The Pixies guy
Damon DeHundian
Frank Black
Black Francis
Frank Black
He's not
Is he from Massachusetts?
Isn't he Boston?
I think so
All of them, right?
Oh
And then of
The Cars
The Cars
The Cars
Yeah
And then
Jonathan Richmond
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
Who'd you say, Matt?
Cars
Richmond
You said Jonathan Richmond
All right, let me start the show
Jay Mascus better be in there
Who else is from there?
Oh, Mascus, yes
DJ Doug Pound
It's the only way to get you to be quiet
Is to introduce you so you can horn it up
Wow
Good morning
Well, we haven't talked to you in so long, Tim
I know
We're excited
You know, we're chomping at the bit
I just talked to you last week
I did this damn show last week
That was a long time ago
Vic Berger is with us as well
from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Hello, everybody
I'm gonna do a little sip out of my gable mug
Good to see everybody here
And I am an actor
One of the great actors
Because many people thought that I was serious
when I said that Matt Carlin
Captain Carlin, the worm dude
was no longer involved with the show last week
There were more than a few people saying
Is it true?
Is Matt gone?
But he is not
That was one of my classic gags
Would I leave?
Come on, you stu-nods
Geez
You think I'd be that?
I mean, if he did leave
and it was under an acrimonious situation
I probably wouldn't make a big deal about it
It would probably be something we don't talk about, right?
And Carson's doing so
We're happy for that
And we wish Matt all the best
And we'd move on
No, you'd have to make one of those Instagram posts
where it's a notepad thing
and it's like five pair
Yeah
Five swipes over
Oh, is this because I got canceled?
After serious consideration
Yeah
Yeah
No, Matt's a good, clean boy
He just
I'm not worried about him
I'm not worried about him
I'm not worried about him, I should say
As opposed to other people
No dirt
No dirt
We got Emma Vigland on the show today
I believe because of the weather
or because of whatever
She's running a little late
Is that correct, Matt?
She's parking
Okay
Well, then let me get in this opportunity
to plug a couple things
Before Emma steps into the studio for the first time
What do I have to say?
I'll do all this stuff later
Who cares?
We got new merch, Matt
Yeah, let's bring merch
New merch
Okay
And we have a model
Yeah, this is huge
This is huge
We hired a model
To model the new merch
Give him a little modeling music
Oh, yeah
Give him some "I'm too sexy"
This is
Where do you get the merch at, Matt?
Where do you get the merch at?
Merch dot
Officehours dot merch table dot com
We got sweatshirts and tees designed by DJ Doug Pound
And we got a little twirl
Yes, we get a twirl
Let's see the back of the show too
There's no back
Oh, that looks good
Looks good on his back
I don't like stuff on the back
I know it's probably
Preferred by most consumers
But
Do it on the front
I don't want anyone looking at my back
You want to know when people are looking at you
Control room
I can't see any of this
Just so you know
When it comes to Emma
Oh, let's do it all over again
Yeah, let's do it again for 10
Oh
Just be aware
We have some mugs
We don't have the samples yet
Very fun
Get the mug too
Here you go, Wes
Okay
Before Emma comes in
I also just want to say
Have you guys seen
This show?
I don't know if it's announced
I don't think it's out yet
But
They're doing the show next year
Netflix is doing it I think
It's this
Walt Jr.
AJ Soprano mashup show
Like
Those two characters are now
No
What?
Yeah
You didn't see that?
Walt Jr. from Breaking Bad
Who I think changed his name to
Finn, right?
No, Flynn
On the show
Can we get an impression of him?
Can we get an impression of him?
And then AJ Soprano
I don't know
Apparently they like
They live together
In Chicago I guess
And they're starting a business together
A coffee shop or something
That sounds awful
Now I'm getting excited
It's a four
Are you serious though?
It's in-universe of both programs?
It's in-universe, yes
It's like they are
There's those characters
And there's RJ Milt
Milt is his name I think
And then
I want your mouth
I want your mouth
What's his name?
Who played Tony Soprano?
Who played AJ?
What is AJ Soprano's name?
Bob something
I don't know
You know what the name of the show is called?
It's called Juniors
I want your eyes
Can you believe that?
Robert Eiler
Nobody wants that
Robert Eiler
Robert Eiler
Robert Eiler
And RJ Milt
Milt
In the new CBS
Sitcom Juniors
Oh
What?
Apparently Ralph Ellison's
Not Ralph
Larry Ellison's
Big Pet Project
This is Big Gamble, huh?
I'm kidding
After I sing
I can usually use a nice tinkle
Go fuck yourself
It's not on CBS
If it's not on CBS
It's gonna be no good
You need that hard R
Well they're trying to
They're trying to go a little
More adult humor
With their show
But
I need the violence
I can't believe Vince Gilligan
I can't believe Vince Gilligan
Let that
Vince Gilligan and
What's his name?
The guy that did
David Chase
Apparently have nothing to do with this
They're
Very upset about it
And they should get
Vincent Chase while they're out there
While they're on it
Remember from the
Why?
Oh, from Entourage
Get that character in there
Can you imagine?
Is Emma here?
Yes
I believe she just sat down
I arrived
Emma, have you heard about this new spinoff?
No, tell me about it
Have you heard about this new spinoff?
It's
Walt Jr. from Breaking Bad
And AJ Soprano from The Sopranos
Have a new buddy
A buddy show together
Called Juniors
Got it, got it
So is it just them increasing their antidepressants?
And that's kind of
Each season they go up a little bit more in Milligram?
I guess so
I haven't tracked where Walt Jr. would be right now in life
I don't know
Were you a Breaking Bad fan?
I was a Breaking Bad fan
I'm not the biggest Breaking Bad fan, I would say
Sure
You know, I tend to be more drawn to shows
Where like the central female character isn't kind of written as a huge bitch
Fair enough
No, they keep cranking up their antidepressants until the last season
It's just like an Andy Warhol film
Just people kind of sitting there
Right, no, exactly
I do like Breaking Bad
I shouldn't be
I shouldn't
Why do you reduce everything to like, you know, politics
Cause I'm just a stupid, you know, social justice warrior
But like, I just get annoyed sometimes about the fan culture around Breaking
Bad
And The Sopranos
Where it's like half the men that watch that don't realize that it's supposed
to be a cautionary tale
And they're just like, this is me, this is me
This is totally me
That's aspirational
Yeah
Let me welcome you to the studio
I'm so embarrassed and ashamed that I can't be there in person
You should be
We continue to not be in the same
I think it's now a theme
I think we can never be in the same room together
I think that should be maybe something we establish
Well, that was court order
Going forward
Court order
I don't think this came up last time
But are you from the Lehigh Valley?
No, but I do go to college in the Lehigh Valley
Where'd you go to college?
Don't look at any camera
Look at Tim on the screen
All right
These cameras aren't even on
I'll look at my toes
I went to Lafayette College in the Lehigh Valley
It was right across the river
Eastern
Yes, Eastern Pennsylvania
And I just
I was such a homebody too
It was really close to home
So I would go home and see my mom all the time
Oh
Really?
You don't
You don't have any
You don't have any roots
You're not like a
You're not like a
Allentown kid
No
No
And you know
Like I was
I'm not an Allentown kid
Although we were rivals with Lehigh, right?
So they were
Oh yeah
Allentown
15, 20 minutes away
And I guess
No
I'm not
I'm not that nostalgic about college
I love my friends from college
But the people that are just
Right
The reunions coming up
Like I just don't relate to that
At all
No, you've transcended all those people
They're not
They're little
People you need to deal with anymore
Do you know this one?
How's your
How's your West Coast swing going?
Oh
What's going on over there?
I'm talking about hot dogs quick
Stop it
Yakos
What?
Do you know Jimmy's hot dogs?
She doesn't know that
She doesn't know Yakos
No, but she knows Easton
Yeah, Jimmy's hot dogs
The old man with the yellow fingers
Do you know who that is?
No
I don't
I don't
It's the old man with the finger
He's got mustard
He has mustard stains on his skin
From so much mustard
Putting it into the hot dogs
There's also
Yellow fingers
Yeah
There's like a crayon store
In Eastern Pennsylvania
Do we want to talk about that?
Yeah, Crayola
In the circle, yeah
Yeah
And the largest candle in the world
Is in that circle, allegedly
Wait, so you know the circle
I used to live on 25th street
Oh my god
Well, there was a
5th street
There was a bar down there called Drinkies
Of course
That used to let us go in underage
Yeah, but I think it shut down
How about Porter's?
You go to Porter's?
I don't think we went to Porter's
And this is so
I don't know if they would let us in
Emma just said she's not nostalgic
I know
For this period of time
But Tim didn't venture to Easton though, right?
You never went to Easton?
My best friend is named Easton
We met at college
She went to college in Easton Pennsylvania
And every professor
And every professor
What do you think?
On the first day
Yeah, of course
Yeah, yeah
Remember when it's the lowest form of college
I get it
Emma, stop talking to Vic, okay?
All right, I'll shut up
I'll shut up
I'll shut up
I'm being a little mouthing
I'll check my email
I'm being a little mouthing
I just don't
I don't like this
I don't like the direction this is going
With Vic chiming in about Easton
Can I ask a questi