Name: Doug & Vic TAKEOVER w/ Cap’n Jazz & Molly Lambert (Ep 365)
Uploaded: 2025-11-21T20:22:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Doug & Vic TAKEOVER w/ Cap’n Jazz & Molly Lambert (Ep 365)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Doug & Vic TAKEOVER w/ Cap’n Jazz & Molly Lambert (Ep 365)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-21. Transcript available.

Doug & Vic TAKEOVER w/ Cap’n Jazz & Molly Lambert (Ep 365)

As much as we are, we will not be
As much as we are, as much as we are, we will not be
As much as we are, hey, go get that, do your friends still be?
Karaoke, how do you get that, do your friends still be?
They're good, I can't see that, karaoke
And so they're guitarists
Down the clock in her open door
Kickin' up the third stone
Home for men is good in love
Oh, go, go, go
Small mountain
Open season
Easy weekend war
As much as we are, we will not be
As much as we are, we will not be
As much as we are, we will not be
Good horning
Welcome to Office Hours, that was Cap'n Jazz
But you guys are playing an Owl song, is that correct?
Yes
Well, this was a real dream come true of mine
I always wanted you guys to perform here
So thanks for doing this
Was the last night your final show of the tour?
Tim, can you not talk?
Tim, can you not talk?
I won't ask you questions if you are
You know what, it's true, my voice is fucked
Oh yeah
Can I say the F word?
You can say any word you want
Cause you know what, today there's no rules
You can say anything
You can say anything
There's no Tim, we replaced Tim with Tim Kinsella
And no Worm Dude
We doubled up with Vicks today, which is kinda cool
Yeah, we have two Vicks, we have Vic Villareal over here
Yeah, no Worm Dude, bye bye, he's gone
You know what I've noticed on an administrative note
Yeah
As the people who are gonna ask us questions
When we're being asked questions at the same time
We all defer to each other, so there's a lot of dead air
Okay, I'll direct the question to one person particularly
Yeah, direct a specific question
But we're gonna just say a few things off the top here
First of all, I want the viewers to know that we got merch
Look at that
I designed this merch
We have a lot of rock and roll type listeners and viewers
And what era is that, or what is that for some boring white dude
I really don't know
They don't know
Oh, okay
This is what the kids wear, so I just try to mimic that
That's what they do
We're getting into the kids market here
Punk rock kind of thing
That and Blippi
Do you wanna, did you know that, you know, Tim's out here?
Can I tell you my story?
You have a story?
Well, not really a story
But like, Tim's new character is a guy who doesn't show up for work
And I gotta say he's pretty convincing at this point
Oh
Right, he's not here today
So I'm just trying to do a little roasting action
Is that okay with you guys?
Yeah
The worm dude is missing this week
No, we love Tim
Yeah, we love him
We're gonna do our best to fill his shoes today
But, you know, since there's no Tim
And, you know, we're not gonna have any Phil
Yeah
No worm dude
Phil is banned
We're gonna have plenty of, all the drops we want
And we're gonna play all the games we want
And hopefully we'll get to a game or two
And Cap'n Jazz can play along
And just maybe
And the winner will get an Office Hours hat
Just one hat for the band
You guys can share that
Well, we'll see what happens
I won't
We also have Molly Lambert on the show
She did a podcast about the porn industry
So we'll be talking to her soon
X-rated stuff
Is that about it for what we gotta mention here?
I mean
Yeah
Yeah, what else we got?
Well, wait a minute
Wait, wait, wait
Since, like, Tim is out
Oh
Wait, hold on
Yeah, let's check this out
Look what I got going on back here
Oh
This is the premiere of the Vic Vision screen
I guess is what it is
So it's gonna have whatever I want on it
I'm like, can you guys see it?
Does everybody see it?
Yeah
So that's a rock and roll, you know, member
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame member now
Mr. Chubby Checker
He's gonna be dancing behind me
And anything else I wanna put up there
There's no worm dude to tell me I can't put up a picture of Bill Maher falling
down
Or whatever it is, you know, like, I'm gonna do it
I encourage it
Yeah, Carson is on my side
Yeah, that's really cool, Vic
Thanks
We also have an exciting new addition to the show
Which is, we have a sister stream in Liverpool
Oh, yeah
At a bar called Cooperstown
Cooperstown Pub
Mm-hmm
Can we check in with the pub and see what's going on over there?
Yeah, 'cause it's, what, like eight?
Was it eight or nine hours?
Yeah, there we go
Ah, there we go
So it is like
Hey, can you guys hear us?
I don't know if they can hear us
Hey
I guess they're doing like karaoke over there
Oh, this guy's a Rihanna
Yeah
Oh, it's Rihanna
Do do do do
Do do do
Do do do
Do do do
Wait, let's go
There it is
Guys gotta be careful
Okay
Oh, my God
Yeah, we don't wanna get dinged
No copyright strikes
They can't hear us
We're gonna be checking back in with the Cooperstown Pub in Liverpool
throughout the show
And the thing is, like, 'cause, like, you know, Matt and Tim are not here, so
this is a no-rule show
Mm-hmm
So I just wanted to see, like, you know, figure, like, get the callers in on
the process here and tell us what rules should not be a rule
Yes, that's correct
Okay, we're gonna get into that
This is, you know how Bill Maher has a new rule?
Yeah, right
We have a thing called, today we're gonna introduce called Old Rule
Old Rule
So this is a rule that you guys might not like
Old Rule
Old Rule
Old Rule
Old Rule
Old Rule
Old Rule
Old Rule
Yeah, Old Rule is a new segment we're gonna-
That's our theme
We have so many segments today
It's gonna be a lot
It's all bits today
It's basically all bits
Nothing but segments
Yeah
And, uh, so if you guys in the band can think of a rule that you don't like,
that you like to break, you know
Do you want- Should I start? Should I-
Yeah, okay, why don't you start us off?
So I don't like going to-
Well, and they go to sporting events or whatever the hell it is and they say, "Everybody
stand up for the Star Spangled Banner"
I'm like, "Alright, I know what's coming next," and everyone starts taking
their hats off
I don't take a hat off, I keep it on
But you'll stand up
I still support America, but I keep my hat on
No one- This is what I gotta do, I'm just keeping it on
It's not offensive in my book
Okay, Vic
I'm getting-
You get the flack?
I'm getting upset
Yeah, people like stare at me, but I don't care
I don't care
Let liberty reign
There it is, there it is
God bless America
One, two, three
Alright, should we-
Okay, so let's talk to the band for a second here
Yeah, may as well, they're here, you know
Now, let me just talk about the elephant in the room, okay
There's a little word, it's kind of an old-fashioned word
It's called emo
Don't
Emo, emo, okay
Let's just get it out of the way
Now, back in my day when I met you guys
Emo was braid, you know, it was uh
Captain Jazz
It was Captain Jazz
And then like, cut to ten years later
And emo was like a haircut, right?
And porn is a category-
Wait, you get on the mic, Sam
It's a category of porn
Wow
Emo is a category of porn
So look what you guys have-
Oh my god
You know, congratulations on what you've done to the-
I think that's what they color when you come inside
Where is that?
Yeah, when you come inside someone
There's no money shop
That's emo
But you know what?
Oh wow
Oh
Let liberty reign
Well, hell yeah
You don't get paid
So I put together a little game
Why don't we just start off with a game?
Or should we do a call-in?
Yeah, let's
I mean-
Carson, who's on the line?
Yeah, uh, Karen, do you wanna-
Hmm?
I know you might have had a question for the band
Okay
Whoa, wait, really?
There we go
Yeah, we'll go right to Karen
I didn't even have my camera
I didn't even have my camera
Oh, hi Karen
Hi
Hello Karen
How's it going?
What are you doing later?
Do you see us too?
I can see you, yeah
Ow
Explain
Explain
Thanks, Carson
Thanks, Carson
You're putting me on the spot
Um
So, uh
Friend-enemy
Oh
Wow
Deep, deep, deep
Again, that's all anyone ever asks about
Um
I'm a
I'm a
Sort of a tertiary acquaintance of Tim Rutile's
Oh
So I'm just always
I'm always looking for like
The fellow Tim heads to
Oh yeah
Give me some good
Like Tim
Tim Dirt
Thank you, Tim
He's
I just saw Caliphones
Uh
They're playing in
Chicago
Minnesota
Missouri
Like they're doing a Midwest thing in the spring
So
Also
If you're a Caliphones fan
And you're in the Midwest
Go see Caliphones in the spring
Sweet home
Chicago
I'll take that advice
Nice
Tell me everything about
Was that a question or was that a
That was a plug
No, that was a plug
That was a plug, okay
Oh
Yeah, but
Did Tim Rutile put you up to that?
Are you Tim Rutile's wife?
No, he didn't at all
I swear
I swear it
You know
Once or twice a year
I text Tim Rutile
Because once or twice a year
I spend like
Three hours listening to Caliphones
And think this is the best band in the world
How can I
Yeah
And then I forget about him for six months
And then I spend another day being like
This is the best band in the world
And every time I text him and say
You make the best music in the world
And he's like, ah, you're so nice
And then
He's a sweetie
He's a sweetie, yeah
Yeah, yeah
So like
Sounds like a dope band
How did you guys get
Uh
How did you hook up with
With Tim for Friend Enemy?
I mean, I know like
Chicago bands kind of like run in
Small circles
But
You just
You just described it
You just described it
No
Chicago bands
Yeah, that's it
Yeah, that's it
Run in
Small circles
How many bands have you been in, Tim?
How many bands have I been in?
Yeah, have you ever made a tally?
This could be a game of just with the five members here
Uh huh
Yeah
Um
My throat hurts
Okay, don't
Joan of Arc
We'll get back to you
American
Um
I don't know what to do now
I don't know what to do now
Maybe we do
Let's hear the band
Let's hear the bands or the part
I wanna hear all this
Oh yeah
No
Uh
You know, honestly
Tim was like
Tim Rutile when I was like 19
And he must have just been about like
I don't know maybe
He was still young like 48 at that time
And uh
He was nicer to me than any of the other older guys in bands
And like uh
Uh
Wasn't condescending at all or anything
So we became fast friends
He's a sweetie
Were you influenced by
Were you influenced by Red Red Meat at all?
Thank you
Early on?
Red Red Meat?
Um
I don't think so
Oh shit
No, okay
That's rude man
Okay, thank you Karen
Alright, thank you guys
Thank you Karen
Thank you Karen
Have a good day
Excellent call
I love that
That was great
That was really great
That's great
What's happening on that team?
We got a uh
1995 Cap'n Jazz show over here
Whoa
Where's that from?
Oh that was uh
Kansas City?
Yeah, Kansas City
Half of Tim's singing
Holy hell
You wanna hear a little bit of this?
Hell yeah
So I know Cap'n Jazz because
I was friends with the guy Mark Pearsall
Yeah
And he put out your
uh
Your LP
Your first record
And he made a record label just to put that out
I think
Yup
And I think that's the only thing he ever released on that label
And Indian Summer was the other band
Maybe
And
But
I remember he worked at this pizza place
And he would use the pizza boxes
Because they were the same size as the LP
So at night
When he was
He would take the boxes and mail out your records out of the pizza boxes
Wow
Wow
It's very industrious
Resource
That's smart
Man With Gun
Man With Gun records
Shout out to Man With Gun
There was also another label that was maybe gonna do it
And Mark just brought me
He persistently brought me pineapple pizzas
Which I had never had before or since
But
He brought me like maybe six in two weeks
And I was like alright this is the label for us
Nice
That's how you do it
If you want a band on your label you bring them pizzas
Pineapple pizzas
Pineapple pizzas
Which I had never heard of before
Not now though
If you have any questions for Captain Jazz in the Zoom
Please let us know
DM me
I'm thinking
Maybe we could play the first game if we want
Yeah let's get into it
Sure
This is just like an indie rock quiz for you guys
And
The winner
And we'll just play with you guys
No Zoomers can play
And the winner can get this hat if you want
There we go
This will be
Sixer height
Now a lot of these
Now that's a shot
Now where was this photo taken guys
Look at
Are you teenagers in this picture?
Yes
Oh my god
I know whe