Name: New Year's Resolutions with Jim E. Brown, Jay Weingarten, Gary Wilson (Episode 369)
Uploaded: 2026-01-09T19:24:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'New Year's Resolutions with Jim E. Brown, Jay Weingarten, Gary Wilson (Episode 369)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'New Year's Resolutions with Jim E. Brown, Jay Weingarten, Gary Wilson (Episode 369)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-09. Transcript available.

New Year's Resolutions with Jim E. Brown, Jay Weingarten, Gary Wilson (Episode 369)

I like having fun. I like to laugh. I like to meet people who can make me laugh.
I like having fun. Yeah, baby, we're back!
Everybody, get on up. Get on up, Doug. Get on up, Vett. Let's push. Let's push.
Get on up out of your damn chairs and be a man like I am.
I am Captain Carlin. Get on up. Push. Push the energy to a thousand percent,
son of a bitch.
We need music if we're gonna ask.
Who are our Navy? Who are our Navy, ladies and gentlemen? Sit down!
Yes, sir. I thought that was you. I was like, "What the hell? What are you
doing here?" You're not.
George Harris is like, "I've got no idea for a part." He goes, "Hey, Paul, can
you play something?"
"Yeah, it's good for the shot." He goes...
Try it again, George.
How's it go? How's it go?
He goes...
Oh, that'll be all right.
All right, everybody. What?
Enough of that.
Weeeeeeeeee! Welcome back, everybody.
That's right. You jumped for seven or five.
You walked into my saloon, you son of a bitch.
We've got a packed show for you today.
And we're here to bring lightness and joy to the disaster of a world that we've
inherited from our grandparents.
Mostly from our grandparents. They've done a terrible job of setting the table
for us.
You can go to hell!
And we'll try to make you smile, but of course we won't ignore the horrors and
the injustice throughout our country and the world.
So we'll be honoring and commenting on that throughout the show.
"Are you ready to smile?"
"Are you ready to smile?"
"Are you ready to smile?"
The incomparable Jim E. Brown will be joining us a little bit later on the show.
"A++++++"
From England.
"Young guy, 19 years old."
19-year-old Jim E. Brown phenomenon of the internet.
"What the hell's going on in England?"
And so much more in store. Let me just get a couple plugs out of the way, of
course.
This is something I have not been honest about with you.
I've been clear about it, but not honest.
In fact, the honest truth is I will be performing in Charleston, South Carolina.
Charleston, South Carolina!
With Neil Hamburger.
On January 25th.
That's the end of this month.
The pounding.
Now I'm getting excited.
It's part of the Charleston comedy.
No, that blew it.
I'm excited to do it too, by the way, at the Charleston Music Hall.
And that's tickets on sale at timheidecker.com/live.
We want to send love.
Should I do this now, Matt?
I'll do this peace and love.
I guess, let me introduce Doug and Vic very quickly.
DJ Doug Pound, Happy New Year to you.
Welcome back to the studio.
Happy New Year and good horny.
Wow.
Very nice.
Can I send out a peace and love to every day people send me that Indian shop
with the horns?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank you.
Enough of that.
Uh, message received.
I have...
I know.
I've stepped in it too.
I know about the Indian horn show.
I don't know.
I don't know what you're talking about.
It's this one.
Imagine going into this store and like, this is the example they're showing you.
Wow.
All right.
Hey, everybody.
What's it?
And, uh, today's gonna be scat-tastic.
Hey, Ian, you know, we're talking, we, we, we had a long talk about the Vic,
Vic, uh.
It wasn't a long talk.
It was like, get it out of here talk.
It was Vic, uh, what was it called?
My screen.
This, this thing.
Like, you don't want this.
Oh, no!
Oh, my God.
Holy shit.
You all right?
Yeah.
I should probably take my sunglasses off.
You're bleeding.
But this is what I had behind you.
Oh, you got a little welt there now.
I know.
I know.
Are you seeing red?
Are you seeing red?
Seeing stars?
Yeah.
I'm all right.
I'm fine.
You know what I want is, I want that, that video of Kevin Spacey, uh, tap
dancing.
I just want that behind me the whole time.
Can we get that going?
Yeah.
I'll, I'll get that.
Send that to Wes.
Okay.
No problem.
So there is a function that, that, that we can use.
But, uh, anyways.
I also have a new, um, debuting for a new year, my new laptop, uh, protector.
That's what we want.
And I got a few stickers started.
If anyone wants to send me any stickers, I will rent out, uh, space.
How much?
How much?
Oh, you're selling ad space?
Yeah.
We're doing ad space here.
What's a, what does a, what does an inch get you?
How much is an inch?
A one by three sticker.
That's probably about five bucks a month.
Okay.
It's four episodes.
It's cheap.
It's cheap space.
That's a good, good deal.
Matt, get, uh, get anybody, uh, put together a media kit.
I love it.
We'll have a per square inch.
Yeah.
I'll put, I'll advertise on my forehead if anybody wants to advertise their
website or app or band.
How about instead of our audio reads, we just have ads everywhere in the
background?
Well, like a NASCAR situation.
Yeah.
We'll just be covered in logos and stuff.
Hey, Matt.
Good to hear what I sent it to you.
I couldn't get his attention.
I don't know how to do it.
I need a bell or something.
Well, you definitely don't get, we're definitely not getting you a bell.
You need a worm bell.
That's where I'm gonna get his attention.
You know what you can do is we could, uh, get Matt's ears pierced, right?
First of all, first get his ears pierced and he gets these big hoops and then
we can each have strings on the hoops.
Uh huh.
Tug your little tug.
I got it.
I got the spacey.
I got the spacey.
Get that little worm tug, it sounds like this.
Uh, we wanna send, we had some bad news over the break, uh, some peace and love,
resting in peace we hope is our friend Devin Jorgensen.
Yeah.
Uh, he was, we can show a picture of him or a memory of him.
He was a great, a definite addition to our game night.
That's very sad.
Yeah.
And, uh, we got to hang out with him a little bit on tour.
He's a good dude.
We did?
Yeah, we did.
Yeah.
And, uh, he's also, I believe he was a music therapist.
So we'd call up and he got me really into, uh, Roger Miller.
Mm-hmm.
He called and played, uh...
Dang me.
Dang me.
Dang me.
Dang me.
Dang me.
That's a great one.
That's one of my go-to karaoke songs.
That's great.
Anyways, Devin passed on.
Yeah, there he is.
He got a kid.
Oh my Lord.
The world is not fair.
Who you can support with a GoFundMe.
We'll drop a link.
Yeah.
This, this guy passes away and this, what's his name?
The guy, uh, President John, John Trump.
He's still alive?
How is that possible?
This guy's still alive.
He's gotta go in the next...
Now I'm going to die.
People are saying he's going in the next several months.
That's positive news.
How can this be possible?
We have to get rid of him in some, you know, legal way or some normal, natural
way.
Of course.
Whether it's the heart exploding or...
I imagine that he's going to accidentally find his head trapped in a vice.
And somebody is gonna accidentally start turning it until his skull raptures.
Now I'm getting excited.
I think we just keep door dashing shitty McDonald's to the White House and just
clog his arteries.
He can't resist those burgers.
The quicker he goes, the better we'll do.
Bye.
Bye.
Better wellness.
I think we should openly...
You know what?
Who said that on the show?
Somebody called...
I was on the show, uh, the other...
A couple, like a month ago.
We'll know he's gone when we start hearing pots and pans.
Fireworks.
He has to go.
Remember during COVID when people did the pots and pans for the hospital work?
That's what I'm thinking.
That's immediately.
God bless.
We'll be dancing in the streets, right?
Yeah.
Kevin Spacey.
There it is.
Kevin Spacey will be up there.
I'll be honest with you though.
I don't know if Kevin's gonna be doing the dance.
It feels like he's probably already been down to Mar-a-Lago anywhere.
That's where all the creeps go.
Oh, totally.
You're a crumb creep.
The reason what?
Is he in Israel doing this?
Creep Island.
Yeah.
What a sick bastard.
Even with...
Why isn't it on the screen behind me?
I mean, that's more offensive.
Why isn't it on Vic's screen behind Vic's head?
Why is it on the big boy screen?
I mean, we gotta...
I gotta scream.
Let me just get the show going.
Let's make this happen already.
So...
And we're also setting up...
We haven't set this up.
We're just pushing out there into the world.
The GoFundMe for Renee Good.
What a name, right?
I know.
What is this reality we're living in?
The day after January 6th.
Oh my God.
What the fuck?
Terrible, terrible.
It was a GoFundMe for her and her...
Well, it's for her kid, obviously.
I think she had three kids.
And her wife.
I believe it means.
Yeah.
Luckily very well-fucked.
I blame teenagers 'cause they had that 6/7.
Oh.
Now they got 6/7.
Oh, that's what it's about.
Yeah.
What's about?
They've been warning us.
Well, now we have January 6th.
Now we have January 7th.
It's horrible days.
Right.
These kids brought it.
They manifested it.
Doug, you have no idea what it's like to live in a home.
A mental...
In a mental institution.
Are they doing 6/7 in your house?
No.
They're 6/7 the whole...
And it's...
It's the...
Anytime it comes up, it's a whole...
It's like an ironic thing where they're making fun of it.
But I'm like, I...
I'm using physical violence against my kids now.
Only when that stuff comes up.
And I feel bad...
I feel terrible about it.
No, I'm kidding.
But it is...
It is too much.
I'm banning those numbers.
I am debuting my new...
I am prepared to debut my new laugh.
Oh, yeah.
A new laugh that I'm working on.
Can we get some quiet here?
I have a new one too.
Well...
I can't wait to hear it.
You do yours first.
Go ahead.
That wasn't it.
Try it again.
I can't wait for air.
No, that's not it.
I forgot it.
I forgot it.
It doesn't matter.
I don't want to waste any more time.
No, it does.
I want to bring out...
Because we have so much to get through today.
We have a great guest here.
He's been on the show before.
Jay Weingarten is here.
That's kind of cool.
Hey, everybody.
Thank you so much for having me.
There he is.
Jay Weingarten.
Food Influencer, I guess.
That's right.
That's not it.
I forgot it.
Oh, you already have it?
It doesn't matter.
I don't want to waste any more time.
No, it does.
I want to bring out...
Jake, do you have live sampling technology?
No, he's just playing back the damn show.
Yeah, I was just playing back a little bit.
Oh, that was...
Anyways, Jay.
I see that now...
I'm sorry.
I've been...
Admittedly, I've got a lot of other stuff going on.
For sure.
What is Jayannuary?
What is that, Matt?
Or what is that?
It's January.
Yeah, January.
You're talking about January?
What is that?
Yes, I see it here on the screen in front of me.
What is Jayannuary?
Yeah.
Actually, I am going to be on Office Hours every Thursday in January.
And it's sort of a play on words with my name, Jay.
So, kind of combine the two things.
This guy's a fadeaway.
You know what I'm saying?
Okay.
Matt, I don't...
Did we discuss...
I don't know if that's...
We'll have a lot of guests.
I think we have a lot of other guests booked for January.
I don't know if that is gonna...
Wait, what's that?
You have a lot of...
Well, I'm just saying, I don't know if we wanna have...
I love...
I'm so happy you're here.
What a great way to start the year to have your energy here.
Yeah.
But I don't know if I can guarantee you that we would have you on every week
this month.
You know?
Dumbass.
We've already talked to Matt about that.
Matt?
And...
Sick bastard.
Sick bastard.
Yeah, no.
Sick bastard.
I just wanna...
I wanna be clear.
Like, I like you and respect you.
Yeah, yeah.
I like you a lot.
Yeah, you're definitely a big influence.
I think it's a big...
It's a big...
It's a bit much asking our audience to have you on every week.
Oh, no.
I apologize if there was a miscommunication.
I'm sure.
And I...
If this is...
If this was something that you and Matt discussed, then Matt and I need to have
a separate conversation
about this.
But I don't see a world where you're on every week, you know?
Did you clear your schedule already, Jay?
Like, for every Thursday?
Yeah, yeah.
No, I definitely...
I've called off work for all the Thursdays in January.
Oh, no.
So...
And my name's Jay and...
Jay-anuary, yeah.
Jay.
And yeah, I have...
I'm...
You've hea