Name: Ivy Wolk was BRUTALLY ATTACKED & Al Jardine talked BEACH BOYS (Ep 375)
Uploaded: 2026-02-19T20:33:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ivy Wolk was BRUTALLY ATTACKED & Al Jardine talked BEACH BOYS (Ep 375)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-02-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ivy Wolk was BRUTALLY ATTACKED & Al Jardine talked BEACH BOYS (Ep 375)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-02-19. Transcript available.

Ivy Wolk was BRUTALLY ATTACKED & Al Jardine talked BEACH BOYS (Ep 375)

I'm like Mr. White Guy.
I like having fun.
I like to laugh.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Here we go.
We're back, ladies and gentlemen.
It is Thursday.
Come on now.
You know it's Thursday morning when you're listening to Office Hours Live with
Tim Heidecker.
It's Thursday, February.
Well, Matt, we're looking at the 19th.
True story, bro.
Rainy as hell.
Cold and rainy.
It's winter conditions for California.
I know my friends all over the East Coast, Central Plains areas, just hate when
I get into that talk because they say, well, you'd think you know winter.
I know winter.
But I'm an East Coast boy at heart and I understand weather more than anyone.
And I have more of a discreet appreciation of it than anyone.
And I can tell you it is uncomfortable where we are.
But we need the rain.
Anyway, we have a terrific show for you today and we're glad you're here.
Via Zoom is someone we were hoping to have in studio, I think.
But unfortunately, it was a tragedy last night, some kind of incident last
night.
Ivy Wolk, star of stage and screen, was in a terrible accident last night.
And man, that looks brutal.
What happened?
Yeah, I was in West Hollywood with my woadies and I got slimed out by a gay guy.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
What is slimed out?
Is that a new Jennifer Alpha term, slimed?
Looks like you got jumped.
I basically got step two wrong by, I stepped to a homosexual wrong in his
domain, in his territory.
I was on his side of the blade and I got slimed.
I got snuffed out.
You guys know the term slimed?
I've heard they have Ghostbusters.
That's a Ghostbusters thing.
Slimer.
Well, you should get that treated.
At least get some bactine on your wounds.
I think I'm gonna be okay.
Okay.
Well, we wish you could have been here, but we understand.
Just all kidding aside, we like doing routines on the show, but all kidding
aside, you are
a working actor and this is...
Actress.
No, it's actor, Vic.
Everyone's an actor.
There's no actress.
Actress.
Actress.
What a woman brings to the screen and the stage, a man could never dream to.
Everybody is.
Yeah, but look back.
Everybody gets a trophy.
Shut up.
Look back at Shakespeare.
Look back at the great actors of Shakespeare who played women all the time.
So you're talking...
You don't know what you're saying.
Right, right.
That was then and this is now.
Could a man ever do what Cate Blanchett did in tar?
No.
I miss the good old days, Tim.
Well, you think I was alive in the 1600s.
Do you want to don a wig, Tim?
Do you wish to don a wig?
I play women.
I play men.
I don't think about it.
I'm actually wearing one.
Turn around, Tim.
See?
Show the audience.
You look like a pretty lady.
I got my beautiful rat tail.
Thanks to Doug.
Doug brought us all gifts.
Matt's got one.
And are you doing anything with your hair or is that just au natural?
My hair?
Yeah.
It's costume hair, honey.
It's costume hair.
There's a little thing in film and television where they do your hair and
makeup.
Yeah, but it's not a wig, is it?
It's not a piece.
I grew this from my scalp.
It's human, natural, virgin.
Are we allowed to find out anything about what you're shooting right now?
At present, no.
But you can look at me, you can ogle at what they've done to me.
Well, I was going to say, are you violating any, what's it called?
Terms of any of your agreement by being on?
Disclosure.
Disclosure.
Yeah, you're on camera now with this makeup on.
Is it giving, is it spoiler alert?
That's a good point.
I didn't sign any paperwork, but like a hooker, I'm discreet, so.
Okay.
Well, you're not because you're on our show with the makeup.
And I think I'm going to have to talk to your first AD.
Hookers still go outside.
Yeah, well, go out and let's see where you're shooting.
Why don't you leave the trailer and let's see where you're filming.
Can I smell it?
All right.
I mean, I'm not, you don't have to.
I'm suggesting it.
Classic movie trailer.
Look, what are we dealing with here?
What kind of trailer?
Where do we see those Coyote trucks?
Yeah, Coyote.
Like Don Coyote, right?
Coyote, yeah.
It's raining here.
Oh, so you're shooting in Los Angeles.
I am, yes.
Okay.
And who are you co-starring with?
Any famous people?
Robert De Niro?
No, it's a lot of, you know, Gen Z newbies.
This will be a lot of people's launching pad.
So they are not covered in blood and humiliated the way that I am.
But because I've been around the block.
How long into the process are you on this project here?
It's been about four months.
Four months?
Yeah.
So this is a big gig.
Yeah, I would say so.
I would say so.
Now I'm getting excited.
So you've been out here four months and only today were you going to be here on
Office Hours.
Is that what I'm getting, Matt?
Yeah.
Okay.
Can I ask about your previous film projects such as Enora?
Sure.
Ask away.
What was your, well, what was your, what was the most enjoyable film that you've
worked on?
Enora.
Enora.
Yeah.
I would say it was Enora.
You know what?
I just worked with a Luna.
Why was it Enora?
I love Luna.
That's my sister.
She was fantastic.
What a, what a beautiful soul.
Oh my goodness.
That's a wonderful, wonderful girl.
The woman of my heart.
Yeah.
What about, what about, what, you were in Friendship?
Mm-hmm.
Now, I'll tell you a joke I have that I've been doing in my stand-up career,
but it doesn't
get a lot of laughs.
It is-
Try it.
Well, back in the old days, they used to have, they had Ivan the Terrible.
You had Peter the Great.
Now we got Andrew the Young.
I really like that.
Don't you like that?
I really like that.
And now when this movie, Friendship, came out, I thought, what is this, a movie
about
Trump and Putin?
Or Trump and Epstein?
Stick to the, the young one.
That's too far.
I think they're going to find out stuff about this Trump-Epstein connection.
I think there might be something there.
I think they might have either known each other or-
Did you see The Prince?
The Prince got arrested.
And where does Andrew DeYoung fit in all of that?
Oh, well, it's sort of a stream of consciousness style humor.
Oh.
We went from Andrew DeYoung, to Friendship, to Trump, to Epstein, now we're at
Prince Andrew.
Any comments on Prince Andrew being arrested?
He is the king of England.
Any comments from me?
Yeah.
I wish him well and, yeah, I just, you know, I pray for the guy.
But monarchy is really important.
I agree.
And I think it's dangerous with, they're playing with fire if they're going to
arrest-
Can we, oh, sorry.
King Andrew, Prince Andrew, who's next?
They're going to arrest the Duchess of York, what's her name, Meghan Markle
next.
Oh, no.
She'd go to jail for being too beautiful.
Right.
For having too much of a winning smile.
What would you do if she stopped by the set, Meghan Markle, came by for a set
visit?
Would you be out there in front of, outside of your trailer waiting with bated
breath?
With your autograph book?
I would have my scrapbook open to a page of me as a baby and I'd say, sign this
because
you, I owe everything to you.
You made me the woman I am.
You get credit for this image of me.
Yeah.
When you were eight years old watching Suits on USA.
Mm-hmm.
Ivy, where are you from?
Are you, are you an American citizen?
I am an American citizen.
I do have a passport with an eagle on it.
I'm from Los Angeles, California.
Oh, you are?
Are you a Nepo baby?
Was your family in the business?
Um, sort of, but like not in any way that gives me any sort of cultural cachet.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
Just kind of how it is in Los Angeles where like you grow up and all of your
friend's parents
are like art buyers for sets and art grips and stuff.
Well, how do you make it as an actor in this business?
Well, that's a complicated answer in question.
Well, she can, she, she has great answers that are short and to the point.
How do you make it as an actor in this business?
You have to be willing to sacrifice things like being in studio on office hours
in order
to get blood put on you and your hair put in crimped pigtails on a rainy day.
Uh, and so you were, you were visibly disappointed to miss the in, in office
appearance, correct?
I was very sad.
Yes.
I would have liked to be in Glendale at this hour, but God had other plans for
me.
Yeah.
Um, well, yeah.
I wonder if I, can a zoomer ask a question?
Yeah.
Is that possible, Matt?
Yeah.
Do we have any zoomers in the crowd?
Yeah, sure.
Who's got a question for Ivy?
Wave your, uh, arms around.
Tricky dang darn.
Or the, uh, hotline.
Chip.
Chip, you got anything?
Mind if I smoke in here?
That's not smoking, honey.
That's vaping.
Let's just get these, our terms correct if we're going to keep talking.
Oh, PM?
God, Lester.
PM, you're saying you got a question for Ivy?
Yes.
Okay, PM.
Yeah, well, I had an important one first.
Do you, uh, are you familiar with poisons?
Poisons as in toxins, as in things that kill you?
Yeah, you must know a lot of them because your name's Ivy.
Easy.
Hey, we're not fucking playing around on the show.
PP.
Next caller.
I had a quick one for Tim, though.
Okay.
Why is, uh, why is this the last year on cinema, man?
You're running out of ideas, 13 years?
Like, what's going on?
Uh, you'll have to keep tuning in to find out.
This guy's real.
You're like, this is the bad part of my life, man.
How am I supposed to get through life without that?
He also, he's stealing Zoomer Valor.
You asked for a Zoomer question in this, this Gen X.
I asked you about your poisons.
I know.
How about, how about, how about picking up a little bit of, go to CBS and get
yourself a
little, just for men beard work because the grays are becoming a little
distracting for us?
Too much.
Too handsome, right?
Get out of here, man.
And trim it up.
Well, keep doing it, Tim.
You're doing a lot of good for the world.
I love him, man.
Oh, thank you.
Now he's okay.
I'm going to be so rude to people and then I still get praised.
Listen, you're not going to believe how many gray bearded men we have today.
Let's get another gray beard up there.
Skip, what do you got?
Skip.
I'm a grayer.
Okay.
I'm a Gen Xer.
Oh my God.
We just time traveled.
That guy just time traveled.
We got a Rip Van Winkle situation here, Ivy.
It looks like Vic.
But I got a better question about your name.
Okay.
My daughter is named Ivy.
Wow.
And I'm curious, I'm curious, what is the best thing you like about your name?
The best thing I like about my name is I don't often meet people that are also
named Ivy.
I went to elementary school with a girl named Ivy, but it was like an adopted
name because she was from Korea.
So it was like a given English name.
But as for Ivy being stamped on the birth certificate, I've met very few people
in my lifetime who have also had that name.
So your daughter and I are in a very special and elite club.
Very cool.
Right on.
And how old is your daughter?
17.
So she's a Zoomer as well.
It's a chic name for a young woman with internet access.
She's a digital native.
Yes.
Right.
All right, then.
Any more beards, Matt?
Yeah, you want one more?
Yeah, we're doing a segment called Clear the Beards.
Clear the Beards.
No more beardos.
Come on, bud.
You got to.
Give us the hat trick.
Some people are shy.
What?
It's the same guy.
He just took his hat off.
I can't believe it.
I know.
I've got a type, I guess.
What are the odds?
I love Batman.
I love Batman.
You just.
Okay.
All right.
Nothing to say?
Nothing else?
All right.
We saw it here.
You're just going to get me?
No, you know what?
You look like I'm watching one of those YouTubers talking about classic rock
that you see.
You're like, hey, everybody.
Today, we're going to talk about the zombies, Odyssey, and Oracle.
The top 10 reasons why this is the better than the Beatles.
Here's, here's a.
You want one more?
I got one more.
Yeah, one more.
You want one more?
One more.
Chip.
What do you got, Chip?
Chip.
Chip.
Does he have a beard?
Is he putting it on?
Chip, you have the tongue.
It's totally gray, though.
Oh, let me just.
Where is he?
I have a.
Chip, just give us a check, one, two, one, two.
Check,