Name: Norm Macdonald On Lying (Stand Up 2010)
Uploaded: 2021-10-18T06:17:25.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald On Lying (Stand Up 2010)' from bubbyberry on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald On Lying (Stand Up 2010)' from bubbyberry on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-18. Transcript available.

This is my advice. I don't like lying. You know what I mean? Because, you know,
because it's against the scripture and stuff. You can't help yourself sometimes.
And, you know, the real lies that are no good at all is when, you know, you lie
for no reason. Like, you go, hey, you ever see that movie with Merrill Stream
on the horse? And then you go, yes!
And then you go, what the fuck am I lying about? Standing in, nothing but this
line.
Hope that fucker doesn't stop and stop and start talking about that movie. And
then they talk about it. They're like, remember that one part of the barn? Who
was that fucker? That guy that played the barn man.
There's been a lot of movies and shit. And, you guys, the barn, remember that?
And then you got nothing to give back, you know, except stuff, you know,
You go, there's a horse. And then you always have that movie. You ever have
that moment where you fucking lie? And then you look at the other guy's eyes.
And then you can tell and he knows you're lying.
That's one of the worst, you know, I'm going to give you a little advice. And
now it's a lie because you want to lie, you know, because you want people to
like you. You don't want people to actually know who you are.
But on the other hand, you want to follow scripture and, you know, not care of
Paul's medicine and so on. So I came up with a, what I consider a genius idea.
And this is what you do. You tell the truth.
And the absolute, you tell the truth. But when you tell the truth, you tell it
with a sarcastic accent.
So, uh, so, uh, maybe your wife, you tell her, hey, you're not fucking my
sister, right?
Yeah, that's me, you know, yeah, I'm fucking your sister.
Yeah, that's me, you know, I'm fucking your sister.
Yeah, I'm fucking the last time.
She's like, no, no, it's all right.
I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I shouldn't be apologizing to me. I don't
like to fuck.
Matter of fact, I fucked your brother, too.
That's my marriage is who I could methodically fuck all the members of your
family.
And then when I was finished, I burned your old fucking house again and killed
y'all.
And I moved to the next town.
And I do that.
So I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I shouldn't be like that.
I mean, I'm the guy that fucking travels all across the fucking nation.
Fucking, fucking, and kill him and burn him.
Sorry.
Huh?
That's my all, too.
Okay, listen. God bless you, folks.
Give me a big answer.
Thank you.