Name: Norm Macdonald Live in Columbus, Ohio - (1/31/2020 - 8PM)
Uploaded: 2021-10-30T17:24:36.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Live in Columbus, Ohio - (1/31/2020 - 8PM)' from bubbyberry on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Live in Columbus, Ohio - (1/31/2020 - 8PM)' from bubbyberry on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-30. Transcript available.

Norm Macdonald Live in Columbus, Ohio - (1/31/2020 - 8PM)

Like let's say you go to, this is where you use the phrase, like let's say you
go to Paris, France, you know, you're looking at the arch, whatever, and you
meet a guy, you're like, hey, where are you from, buddy?
I'm from Columbus, I'm from Columbus too, small world, you say that, but that
almost never happens, usually you're there, you go, hey, where are you from, I'm
from Columbus, what about you? I'm from Paris, France, well it's a big fucking
world, I'm from Batman, almost none of us know each other or not,
what is my intention, that it's a very large world, you know, when you're
playing, I realize this is where you're irrational, this is what I heard myself
today say, you know when you hear yourself say something, you go, what the fuck
did I say that, so I went past the relay table, and I put $100 on black, and it
spun around, and it landed on red,
red, and then I say real loud, and then I say real loud, I go, fuck, I almost
picked that!
And then everybody understood at the table, that was another weird thing, I'm
like, oh, you can't overthink us.
You know, anybody wrote the game of roulette.
It's like an airplane, I'm sniffling a lot, I apologize, I get paranoid when I
sniffle, because I think, maybe you guys don't think I'm on cocaine, I'm on
cocaine, I'm on cocaine, I'm on cocaine, that makes me paranoid as well.
You guys think of me. I'll have it for myself. I can't change my delivery. I'm
so fucking afraid of a Chinese fucking hell.
God damn. They're always having a son. But nothing ever happens, so I guess it's
alright. That's the good part about it. Nothing ever happens.
I was like, I was afraid of the airplane flying. I get afraid of the airplane,
but the airplane is really big airplanes. Jets never really do much.
Here's what I do when I get an airplane. I always pick the exit row. And I give
you this. I always try to get the exit row.
Because you get about an extra foot of lake room. And all you have to do to get
the exit row is to lie.
Because a steward has to look about a flight attendant.
These are good words, alright folks in battle. I come from a different time.
Usually people from the future say that, but I'm not saying it from the ground.
I come from a different time. I come from a different time. When I was young,
if you were a lady and you were a flight attendant,
then we'd call you a stewardess. And if you were a man and you were a flight
attendant, we would call you a...
Doesn't matter.
I was a little boy. I remember when I was my dad. And I said, "Dad, I think
that I'm a little girl."
And he said, "Wait a minute. I thought you had a cock."
I only say that to show you how hateful we were back then.
There's nuances to people. People are not only evil or good.
Like my father, for instance, he had me when he was old. He was in World War II.
He fought Hitler.
I mean, he had health.
But he couldn't beat the fuck out of him.
He had a big strap and pant.
I guess we didn't go that way.
We're very wealthy, I think.
But anyways, what I'm trying to say is that people are not just one thing.
You know what I mean?
He had a big side, which was that fist fight with Hitler or something.
But he also had his evil side, which was his crazy theory that having a cock
had something to be a little boy.
He was like, "Oh, I'm not going to be a little boy."
He was like, "Oh, I'm not going to be a little boy."
He was like, "Oh, I'm not going to be a little boy."
He was like, "Oh, I'm not going to be a little boy."
I'm not going to be a little boy.
I'm not going to be a little boy.
I'm not going to be a little boy.
I'm not going to be a little boy.
I'm not going to be a little boy.
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