Name: Norm Macdonald Ends Show Early Because of Audience Member (AUDIO)
Uploaded: 2022-05-02T04:20:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Ends Show Early Because of Audience Member (AUDIO)' from bubbyberry on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Ends Show Early Because of Audience Member (AUDIO)' from bubbyberry on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-02. Transcript available.

Part of me thinks I will never die.
We're a cut, though.
So I have little things prepared. Like, at the end, I want my--what is that?
You're not taping, is that?
It's not a wrench, you know what I'm saying?
Huh?
Snake, what?
An audio machine?
Well, that's taping.
No, you're not an audio machine, are you?
Are you the person you are?
It's a ball cannon.
You're not an audio machine, are you?
Are you?
You're staring at me.
Is he an audio machine?
Let's beat him.
No, I'm seeing you.
No, it's not.
But are you an audio machine, too?
I'm looking at the bald guy in the second row, directly beside the pretty girl
with the glasses.
Pardon?
Are you taking it?
No, but what was that red thing?
I don't know, it was a red thing that had a whole bunch of--let me see a watch,
a red watch.
Oh, my gosh.
It was a whole bunch of red--do you know what I'm talking about?
I don't know, I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
What's your name?
The girl.
What's that?
Lotus?
That's a good one.
Do you know the red thing I'm dying with?
So you're going to lie?
That sucks.
How does that continue?
You don't think I lost that?
Well, then what's the red light thing?
You know, you can't not know what I'm talking about because there was red--it
happened like
three times--a big lock of red thing.
It's about this big.
How does he say?
Oh.
Well, the show ended in a while ago, anyway.
I was going to do a bunch more stuff.
That's too bad.
Too bad.
I don't know how much I'm talking about this.
It's a good one.
I don't know how much I said that.
But, listen, you guys, all right.
I love you, Lou!
Thank you.
I love you guys, too.
I love you!
Well, I love you guys, too.
And I think most people are wrong.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
No, I have to stop because I feel--because people are lying.
Now, I'm not going to punish the rest of you, he is.
No, I've done my entire set, and I apologize for something like that.
I will tell you one more thing before I go.
I wish I was a little bit sad.
A friend of mine, I was blessed enough to have my childhood friend,
Sean Kay and Randy and Joe D.
I had kept in contact with him my whole life, and this was before social media
and so on.
Sean Kay was always a little chunky, but he turned fat and then he turned obese
and then he became one of those, you know, very, very big guys that could get
out of the house and stuff.
This happened about ten years ago.
And so everything changed, and all this time we've been trying to get him to
get him to change and to have to be helped.
Anyways, only two months ago, he started to get helped, thank God.
I was going to tell you, he's 586 pounds.
That's crazy.
And so we're all behind him.
I told him, I said, I'm not 100% behind you because a little bit of me wants to
gain 14 pounds.
I was trying to be honest with you.
I think that's my OCD or something.
I remember it was that TV show.
I thought maybe we could make a little turn.
Make a little turn, you know.
So, but he said to me something that struck me odd, you know.
He said, you wouldn't know it now, Norm, but you know, when I was young, there
was a time in my life when I weighed 135 pounds.
And I said, no, I believe that.
I think you weighed every weight up until...
I love you guys, I love you.
Thank you so much for coming on.
I love you guys.
Thank you.