Name: MotoGP and F1 - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2021-07-18T04:01:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'MotoGP and F1 - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-18. Transcript available. Bill Burr talks about MotoGP, F1, Max Verstappen, lewis hamilton, etc.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'MotoGP and F1 - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-18. Transcript available. Bill Burr talks about MotoGP, F1, Max Verstappen, lewis hamilton, etc.

So, just when that couldn't get any better, MotoGP and F1 racing started this
weekend, right?
And I woke up, I was like, oh, fuck, did I miss it?
You know, did I miss them or whatever?
And the F1 race, I'm not going to lie to you, I missed the first like 30-something
laps.
So, I watched the last half of the race.
The MotoGP I put on during the Moto2 race, so of course I'm looking for the
American there.
Native of Los Angeles, Joe Roberts, who was in eighth place when I watched him,
finished sixth, I believe.
And then I watched the MotoGP race, which, you know, I didn't realize that,
actually, well, I knew that Mark Marquez wasn't going to be in it.
He had another difficulty, you know, he broke his humerus last year, and he had
some sort of complications or something that he's working out.
But I noticed, I didn't see, that's hilarious.
I'm looking for Andre DiVizioso, and it comes up, Andre DiVizioso, wife, comes
up first.
And I wasn't sure, does this guy have a ride this year?
Vizioso, man, doubts MotoGP race return in 2021.
Oh, he won't be back.
Like, that was my favorite rider in the main thing there.
But anyway, he'll be back.
Sucks he's not there.
But I watched the race, and Maverick Vinales won it.
It was a great race.
I missed the very first lap, because the people who were coming to switch the
shit around in my office here came.
And I was watching it live for once, first time since it hasn't been on Channel
220 on DirecTV.
But what was amazing was, was it, is it Johan Mir or whatever?
I don't know what the fuck his name is.
He was in second place last year's championship, and he's hanging on to the
very end.
And then he took a turn wide right at the end, and there was two Ducatis right
behind him.
And they did the old slipstream there.
And then it's great.
The announcers, and now, oh, here come the Ducatis, the Ducatis, fucking
screaming their asses off.
I mean, nothing gets me off the fucking couch like MotoGP.
It's fucking amazing.
Fucking amazing.
It was a great race.
So I posted about it, and everybody goes, I hope you watched that F1 race.
It looks like Max Verstappen finally has a fucking car to compete with Lewis
Hamilton.
So I got all excited, like, oh, fuck.
Did Max Verstappen beat Lewis Hamilton, right?
Because Lewis Hamilton and Mercedes are just so fucking better than everybody
else.
I have to fight hating Lewis Hamilton, because he's so fucking good.
I mean, I understand they got more money and shit, so that's annoying.
So anyway, I'm watching the fucking race.
I put it on, and I'm like, you know, and, of course, Lewis Hamilton's in the
lead.
And I'm watching the race, and I'm watching, and I'm watching.
And all of a sudden, you know, Max Verstappen just keeps closing the gap,
closing the gap.
He's behind five-point-something seconds, four-point-something seconds, three-point-something
seconds.
He starts talking about the, what do they call that?
Not the slipstream, the, uh, he's gonna have the, whatever the fuck they call
it.
Begins with a D.
I can't remember anything.
Um, because I'm doing nine million things, obviously.
Uh, so he gets right on his ass, and then Lewis Hamilton does something that
you never see him do.
He makes a fucking mistake.
Turn ten, he goes wide.
And Max Verstappen is right on his ass, and he's got that fucking, whatever the
fuck they call it.
And, you know, like, the next place he has space, he goes to the outside of him.
And, dude, I am jumping up and down.
Jumping up and down.
He fucking blows by him, and there's, like, fucking two laps left or something,
three laps left, and I'm freaking out.
Oh, my God, he's gonna do it!
It's gonna be great racing this year!
Woo!
Right, screaming.
And then, all of a sudden, he just slows down, and he lets Lewis pass him.
And my jump just slowed down.
So I was just bouncing on my toes.
I was like, wait, what the fuck?
What the fuck just happened?
Well, you know, Hamilton, he had no back end.
He was flying.
His ass end was all over the fucking track.
Max Verstappen had total control of his car.
He went by him, and all of a sudden, he just, he fucking slows down.
He lets the guy go past him.
What the fuck is going on?
And then, the announcer's like, oh, he, he, when he passed him, he wasn't on
the track, so he has to let him go by.
And I was just like, ugh.
And he was still close to him, but I just knew.
I just knew.
I'm like, Lewis Hamilton does not fuck up twice.
Once every fucking 20 races, he will fuck up.
And then, when you go by him, you cannot fuck up at all.
And if you do fuck up, that's it.
The race is over.
And they were screaming and yelling.
The announcers were screaming and yelling, trying to get me back up off the
couch, but I did not get back off the couch.
Because I've been watching since 2015.
Okay, I'm still new, but I have watched long enough to know that the race was
over.
And I just was slowly sat down on the couch, sank into the cushions.
And I just sat there expressionless.
And, of course, Max Verstappen's car, because he got off the track, there was
something in his tire.
All of a sudden, he's having problems.
He can't close the gap.
Downdraft, that's what they call it.
I don't know if he's going to get close.
He's not going to get close enough.
The fucking race is over.
And I cannot tell you how disappointed I was that Max Verstappen didn't win.
But then at the end of the race, I was still excited where I was like, listen.
Okay, Lewis Hamilton is the Derek Jeter, the Tom Brady, the Bill Russell, the
Bobby Orr, the Michael Jordan of this sport.
Okay?
So, but all of those people, other than Michael Jordan, because Michael just
had no competition, but all of those people needed, like, you know, Joe Montana
needed Elway.
Bill Russell needed Will Chamberlain.
Bobby Orr, I don't know if he had any peer, but there was still guys like Ken
Dryden, just amazing goalies and shit.
Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, that great duel.
You know, and in the end, whoever's the best, you know, A-Rod and Derek Jeter
and Nomar was a thing for a while.
And then just at some point, the greatest of all time just pulls away from all
of them.
So what I'm hoping is to get a little Brady, Peyton Manning thing going on here
with Lewis Hamilton and Max Verstappen.
But it looks like Max Verstappen has a great car.
And I was tweeting, I really hope this isn't a fluke.
Because F1 is one of the great sports of all fucking time.
And they just haven't had, every sport goes through it.
There'll just be a period that happens where there's just, the competition isn't
where it needs to be.
So I am really excited about F1 for the first time in like two, three years.
Because I've kind of been like lazily watching it.
You know, I would watch the start of the ring and be like, all right, well,
Lewis got, you know, he's in first place.
After the first turn, the fucking race is over.
So I would just wait for that race where he somehow fucked up in the time trial.
One should be 20 races.
And he was like, you know, starting from like the second or third position.
Then it could be fun to watch him basically overtake people eventually.