Name: I Wanna Be Like Sting - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2021-07-18T06:49:49.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'I Wanna Be Like Sting - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-18. Transcript available. Bill Burr talks about Sting.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'I Wanna Be Like Sting - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-18. Transcript available. Bill Burr talks about Sting.

Oh, Jesus. Now, where in the fuck am I, goddamn?
I swear to God, you close a fucking window and then everything just goes away.
This is, you know what it is? Because I'm writing all of this shit right now.
Oh, are you, Bill? Are you, Bill? What are you, fucking Drake?
Working on the weekend like usual.
Nobody asked you, Drake. Nobody asked you how often you work and what you're
doing.
Okay? I've said it before. You work for yourself.
If you don't want to work this weekend, then don't, that's up to you.
You're 100% in control.
All right. So, anyway.
So now I'm adding, now that I am going to try to go another month.
Oh, Jesus. Another month.
With nothing but having one chocolate malt a week, which I can't even fucking
do that.
Because if I eat that, then I'm just like, you know what?
I want a steak dinner. I want some something salty.
Some mashed potatoes or whatever.
Fucking coaster.
Dude, you know what's overrated is a goddamn fucking coaster.
The coaster has to have weight to it.
Because if you fucking put a glass on it, the condensation then makes the glass
stick to the fucking coaster.
And if the coaster doesn't have any weight, you go to pick it up and then it
falls on the fucking floor.
These are the frustrations of the first world.
Yeah. So, I'm going to try to add yoga.
Oh, Jesus.
I got to do it.
I said I was going to go sting in my 50s.
All right.
Because that fucking guy looks amazing.
He looks fucking amazing.
Sting is still fuckable.
And he's almost 70.
I mean, look, I know he has zillions of dollars.
I know he lives in a castle.
Right?
But still, if he walked into a fucking bar, you know, without even playing bass,
if he wasn't famous, that guy could still fucking, he could pull something out
of there.
He might have to drag it out of the mud at this point.
But he could drag something out of there.
Go home.
Right?
So, seems to be what he does.
Right?
He does yoga and he fucks for like three days straight.
I don't know what he does.
Practices his bass in odd time.
I'm just going to do what the fuck he does because I want to be in his shape.
And I'll tell you right now, you don't do that by fucking making a goddamn
chocolate malt every week.
It just throws your whole fucking week off.
Oh, I had another one last night.
Oh, it was fucking delicious.
It's my fucking, it's my everything now.
It's my crack, my heroin.
You know, at least I split it with my wife.
And I would be lying to you if I didn't resent her when I have to pour that one
half into her little thing, her little glass.
You know, I do the whole thing.
I put the whipped cream on it.
I put a little fucking cherry on top.
It's the gayest thing ever and I fucking love it.
But it does throw my diet off for the whole fucking week.