Name: Roman Swipes - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2021-07-21T08:14:57.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Roman Swipes - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-21. Transcript available. Bill Burr talks about Roman Swipes.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Roman Swipes - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-21. Transcript available. Bill Burr talks about Roman Swipes.

All right, let's read the advertising here.
Oh, look at everybody, it's Roman.
You know, most guys have tried different ways to last longer,
but thinking about baseball doesn't always work.
I never understood that either, you know what I mean?
I'm fucking banging some broad, and all of a sudden I'm going to start thinking
about Mark McGuire.
What am I trying to do to myself?
The folks at Roman...
The folks at Roman, an online men's health company,
are changing the game with Roman Swipes, the secret to longer-lasting sex.
Roman Swipes are a clinically proven way to last longer in bed.
What the fuck is this?
Where was this when I needed it?
They're effective, easy to use, and fast-acting, but don't require a
prescription.
Oh, ladies, be careful what you wish for.
Now you're going to have a fucking porn star.
You're going to go from fucking Fast Freddy to fucking John Holmes.
Roman can stop...
Oh, sorry.
Roman can ship swipes.
How do they work?
To you in a discreet, unmarked package,
and each swipes packet is small enough to hide in your wallet for whenever you
need it.
Oh, my God.
That's hilarious.
So if you're like a minute man,
and you're going to bang so broad you've never met before,
you go, hey, I'm going to stack it.
I just, you know, go to the bathroom.
A little swipe, swipe, swipe.
Then you come out.
Ba-ba-da-ba-da, right?
Coming out like Tyson, walking to the fucking ring.
Probably a bad reference.
Wipes swipes are great.
They will not transfer to your partner so you can last longer without worrying.
They're super easy to use.
Just take the swipes out of the packet, swipe it on, let it dry, and you're
good to go.
That's it.
What does it do?
Go to GetRoman.com slash Burr.
Dude, I don't give a shit.
Any guy who's busting it too quick doesn't give a fuck what it does.
Slap that on me like a turtleneck.
GetRoman.com slash Burr and get $10 off your first order of swipes plus free
two-day shipping.
That's GetRoman.com slash Burr for $10 off your first order of swipes and free
two-day shipping.
All right.
Now I'm curious.
I got to see.
What do Roman swipes do?
What do they do?
What do they do?
Roman swipes.
Congratulations to the UCLA Bruins knocking off my Michigan Wolverines.
I love both of those programs.
I'm going to be one of those guys late to the party.
I'm just going to watch the final four.
From what I heard is the Gonzaga, who I was making fun of.
Like, ah, they're undefeated.
They played in the fucking WAC.
Who the hell are they playing, huh?
Fucking Montana State Community College.
I guess they're unbelievable to watch playing a team game.
Paul Verzi's been just going off on them, telling me how fucking great they are.
So I got to check it out.
All right.
How does Roman swipes work?
Roman makes it simple to get real medication.
Why won't you say what it does?
Does it numb your dick?
Does it feel like my finger at two in the morning?
What's going on here?
How does it work?
By Benzocaine.
Roman swipes are topical anesthetic that reduce the intensity of sexual
stimulation.
Prolonging the duration of sex without completely removing the sexual filth.
Oh, my God.
That's hilarious.
Fucking dip your balls in ice.
Oh, God.
That's fucking hilarious.
At 5 p.m.
I thought I was doing this at 3.
Oh, God.
At what point am I ever going to write anything down?
Sorry.
Just got a text.
All right.
What did I say?
Is it 5 p.m.
His time?
Hang on a second.
Sorry, everybody.
I blew.
I missed.
I didn't blow it off.
I fucking missed it yesterday.
3 p.m.
My time, though?
Ah, Jesus.
Or 5 p.m.
East Coast time?
No, Pacific Coast.
There we go.
Sorry.
Sorry you had to listen to that fucking bullshit.
All right.
Here we go.
Anyways, plowing ahead here.
You know what I was psyched about?
I was watching.
I was flipping through, and I stopped on the MLB channel, Major League Baseball,
and this guy was talking some nice, saying a lot of nice things about the Red
Sox lineup this year.
I'd say it's Xander Bogart's team.
Now he's the, I can't believe it.
Now he's the old man on the team.
But I guess they think we got a lot of firepower in the lineup.
I don't know what.
I'm excited, but I am fucking really excited for baseball this year.
Probably because I'm going to be in town.
Yeah, so it was, right?
3 p.m.
My time.
All right.
I got to wrap this fucking podcast up to go do the podcast.
Yesterday, I forgot to fucking do it because I was out flying around like a
fucking chopper boy there.
All right.
That's it, everybody.
If you can't last long, what you want to do is slightly numb your dick.
That's what you do.
Here's another thing, too.
You got to own that.
You got to own that.
Just say, where are you going?
I got to, I'm going to put a, listen.
Your pussy is so amazing.
I need a topical anesthetic on my dick.
I mean, that's got to be, that's got to be an ego boost for a woman.
You know, you got to numb your dick up even if you fucking walk near me.
That's what the fuck I'm bringing to the table.
All right.
That's the podcast, everybody.
Just checking in on you.
A quick little fucking half hour there.
I don't know what else to tell you.
Have a great weekend, you cunts.
Good luck to UCLA, Baylor, Gonzaga, and Houston.
Those are the four teams left.
I don't know who's playing who, but I'll be checking out.
I'll be checking that out this weekend.