Name: The Ford F250 Regular Cab - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2021-07-21T13:04:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Ford F250 Regular Cab - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-21. Transcript available. Bill Burr talks about his latest dream car.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Ford F250 Regular Cab - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-21. Transcript available. Bill Burr talks about his latest dream car.

acting like you're not a white douche like me,
totally caught up in capitalism,
trying to think about the next thing that you want to buy
that you don't really fucking need.
That you don't really fucking need.
And you might be asking yourself,
Bill, Bill, Bill, let me, let me, let me, let me.
You probably have a lot of questions.
What's the latest thing that you want that you don't need?
Oh, I'm going to tell you.
I found my dream fucking, my latest dream car.
You know?
I grew up playing with Tonka trucks.
I've always loved trucks.
My first car was a truck.
First car, first automobile.
Sorry, didn't mean to freak people out
that were fucking on a pot cookie right now.
How's a car, a truck, man?
Doesn't make sense.
It's like that old joke.
The door is ajar.
How's a door ajar, man?
Who used to have that joke?
Anyway, I fell in love with this fucking truck.
I'm a Ford guy.
I want to get a Ford F-250 regular cab.
Fuck the extra cab.
Fuck the crew cab.
I'm a loner.
Plus, I just like a regular cab anyway.
You know?
One of the best trucks I saw over the last few years was that Dodge Hemi one
that was the fucking, had the short bed with just the regular cab.
That fucking truck is the shit.
So my latest one that I love, I love the Ford F-250 regular cab with the turbo
diesel four-wheel drive in velocity blue.
Go build that on the Ford website and tell me that that isn't a fucking
gorgeous goddamn truck.
But evidently, it does so bad in gas, they don't even tell you.
It's not even an issue.
It's not even an issue.
And I actually, for two days, talked to my wife, said, I'm going to trade in my
Ford or sedan for one of those fucking things.
And she goes, it's stupid.
You already have a truck.
I'm like, it is not stupid.
I always end up feeling like Mark Wahlberg's character in Boogie Nights when
she's tearing down all the posters.
Whenever I ask my wife for something.
Why would you do that?
Stop it!
I want an F-250.
I know I don't know how to fix things.
Why can't I ever?
Listen, I know it would chow gas and there'd be no place to park it out here.
But in between those moments, I would have a fucking euphoric ear-to-ear grin
driving that gorgeous, gorgeous truck down the fucking street.
I'd keep it all stock.
I wouldn't put stupid tires and rims on it.
I'd keep it all stock because I know.
I know what I know.
I know what I like.
I know what I like.
I got Huey Lewis on the brain here, man.
Oh, Bill Burr.
Hip to be square.
Fucking stone sober.
That's what I am.
Stone sober.
I'm not straight edge.
I'm too old to be straight edge.
I'm fucking sober.
All right?
Straight edge is like, you know, that's for young people.
Young people are straight edge, right?
Your fucking crotch is still talking to me.
Okay, mine got disconnected a long fucking time ago.
My brain and my, I don't give a shit about anything right now.