Name: Where Are the Tour Dates?! - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2021-07-23T02:54:48.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Where Are the Tour Dates?! - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-23. Transcript available. Bill Burr struggles to find the tour dates.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Where Are the Tour Dates?! - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-23. Transcript available. Bill Burr struggles to find the tour dates.

Let's get into some of the reads here for the week.
I also have to make sure that everything came in
because I know I have, like, tour dates here.
Fall tour dates, everybody.
Can you, can, do you believe it?
Let's see what we got here.
Please announce new tour dates on billburr.com.
Where the fuck are they?
I got to click on my own goddamn, what's good?
I click on my website, I get a hit, right?
We got a hit.
People are still going to the website.
Billburr.com.
Look at that ugly bastard.
Tour dates.
Okay, here we go.
Tour dates.
Clicking on them.
Clicking on the tour dates.
Where are they?
Where are they?
They are not here.
What the fucking, goddammit.
Why don't you just send me the fucking tour dates?
Ugh.
You know, somebody the other day asked me to,
can you do my fucking roast?
I go, when is it and where is it?
And they send me a fucking link.
I click on the link and it's the advertisement for the show.
And fuck me if I can figure out when it is and where it is.
So I finally write back to the guy.
I say, listen, I'm too fucking old for a link.
Just tell me what it is.
It says the tortilla.
Hang on a second.
The tour dates are not up on my website.
Period.
Can you just send me the tour dates?
Period.
Text them to me?
Question mark?
You like when I was thinking about what I was going to say and I went,
tour dates?
It's still got tour.
I thought I was going to write tortilla again.
All right.
Please announce new tour dates are up on billburr.com.
We're not as of me fucking clicking this, but they will be.
Oh, they will be.
Guys, can you tell I've been doing yoga?
I don't want to, you know, it's great.
Now, now when I get mad, I'm already thinking, I don't want to be this mad.
I still get that mad, but it's a step that I have taken.
Oh, by the way, I missed the MotoGP race because I was doing all the Easter
stuff slash screwing
it up.
But what was I going to say?
A buddy of mine that watches MotoGP just wrote to me in all capital letters,
best fucking
sport out there.
What a fucking race.
So I guess it's an instant classic and I'm extending an olive branch to old
school NBA
fans that are sick of watching super teams and they miss watching competition.
MotoGP is not a big time commitment.
You know, you can, you can sign up on a MotoGP.com.
You click, click on calendar, create, you know, create an account, sign up,
click on the calendar
section and just watch, uh, just, it's just, it's fucking amazing.
It's guys on motorcycles going over 200 miles an hour, passing each other.
It's fucking insane.
It's fucking insane.
Or don't, or don't, whatever.
All right.
I'm just a dumb guy that wants a Ford F two 50 regular cab, turbo diesel four
by four
and velocity blue.
I'm really hoping that I, I, I've told enough shit jokes in my life for
somebody at the Ford
motor company to just get the ball rolling on this.
All right.
To give me some sort of fucking podcast discount.
I'll still pay 95% of sticker.
I don't give a, just give me a discount.
Something that I can say to my, give me, give me a reason to buy that fucking
thing.
And I will.