Name: A Flat Earther Wanted to Reach Out - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2021-08-22T12:15:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'A Flat Earther Wanted to Reach Out - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-22. Transcript available. A flat Earther writes in.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'A Flat Earther Wanted to Reach Out - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-22. Transcript available. A flat Earther writes in.

All right. Flat earther wanted to reach out. Oh, I love it. I love it. You know,
here we go. Here we go. Let's get into this. Come on. Convince me.
Hey, Billy beta boy. I'm a beta boy now. Oh, OK. And you're the alpha. OK.
I see you're constantly discussing the flat earth phenomenon. I'm not
constantly discussing it. You are.
I'm just making fun of it. Fat people think I'm constantly talking about them
or I have been lately.
Can I ask you a question? Do you think fat people are around? Do you think they're
flat, too?
Sorry, it was too easy. And I wanted to reach out for the record. I am not a
scientist or mathlete.
Yeah, I could. You know, you didn't need for the record. I could have fucking
told you that.
I have, however, read tons of literature and nonfiction books about the
discussion.
A nonfiction book was written about this, what, for the fucking 1200s?
I am reaching out to see you to see if you are actually interested in hearing
from a genuine critical thinker on the topic.
I have a PowerPoint that has been in the works for some time and would be doing
a video about it.
To start up. No, I'm not reading this.
I'm not I'm not going to fucking read your PowerPoint fucking discussion.
What I want you to. I just want you fucking flat earthers to tell me what.
Why would they tell you it's round when it's flat?
What is the advantage? I get.
I get a lot of conspiracy.
I get people when they say I'm worried about the vaccine.
What if this is what they're using for population control?
I that makes that paranoid thought 100 percent makes fucking sense.
Considering what governments have done.
To forget about other people, their own fucking people.
What what what this government has done to people who aren't fucking white.
I 100 percent get that paranoia.
OK, because I see the fucking.
The reason that they're doing it.
And the advantage of them doing that, taking out all of these fucking people so
they can live.
These people all fucking die.
And then this global warming shit slows down.
There's more room for them, more property and all that fucking shit.
I totally get that shit, but I just don't get like.
If it was flat.
Right.
Why would you tell me it's fucking round?
Because the reality is I don't care.
As long as gravity still works and I don't float away from the fucking planet,
I don't give a shit.
But this fucking crap here.
Where people are trying to say that there is a fucking ice wall like somebody
would have seen it and taken video of it.
Why is there no video of the fucking ice wall?
Why isn't there anything out there where there's people standing, looking over,
going, look at this.
If I take a step here, I'm going to fall all the way down off the earth.
Right.
Just show me that.
I'm not reading a bunch of fucking books.
But if you want to read books on this, this is to start off with the moon is
within the earth's atmosphere.
Even if we went to the moon, it's still not in outer space.
Oh, my God.
Sir, could you get a pilot's license and then please tell me that you still
believe this shit?
Flat earth as a concept is not old.
Is it not old?
Yeah, no.
My whole life, everybody thought it was fucking round until the Internet came
around.
It is actually new.
Oh, you're saying back in the day, Columbus.
Okay.
The book below basically discusses how it was an invention to discredit
evolutionary critics.
From the time of the Greeks onward, anyone was aware of the shape.
Everyone was aware of the shape of the earth.
And yes, the meme that Columbus was the only one who thought the earth was
round is entirely inaccurate.
Yeah, I would believe that.
I believe that.
Yeah, I believe that there was plenty of smart people that fucking figured that
out.
Mathematically.
Oh, my God.
Are you going to tell me now that the sun goes around the fucking earth?
Okay, I don't, I don't know what to tell you here, buddy.
Okay.
I'm sure you're aware of the origins of NASA being that America took in war
criminals.
An organization we should be skeptical of at the very least.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
I agree with that.
But, like, the thing about it is, is then every single fucking country, our
allies, our enemies, every fucking leader, all of them, all the scientists, all
got on the same page for this fucking life.
They can't get on the same page about anything.
We can't even get on the same page about what to do or what not to do with this
fucking virus.
But you're telling me all of these world leaders who constantly fight each
other, constantly make up shit, constantly steal from each other, constantly
try to wipe each other out.
The one place where they all agree to lie about is that the world's round.
That's what the fuck you're telling me.
Like I said before, I am not intelligent in a standard sense.
Well, neither am I, okay?
But I'm smart enough to listen to other, I don't know, whatever.
I have been told I'm more wise than smart.
I'm not a Christian.
I am college educated, currently serving in the California Army National Guard.
Well, that's great.
Have somebody take you up in a fucking plane.
Thanks and go fuck yourself with knowledge.
Yeah, buddy, I'm not wasting my time with that.
I am not wasting my fucking time with that until somebody can, here's the deal.
I will read that shit if you can tell me what the advantage of is telling a
meathead like me that it is fucking round when it's actually flat.
Actually, fuck all of that.
There is video about everything.
Everybody has a fucking camera with them right now.
Send me video of somebody standing on the fucking ice wall.
Okay?
At the edge of the fucking, all of these fucking people that have pilot's
licenses and have boats and all of this shit.
Somehow they've never gone out and seen it.
And posted it on their fucking YouTube page like, hey man, I don't want to
freak people out, but like, I was sailing around the world and got a little
lost and I ran into a fucking wall right in the middle of the ocean.
And then I climbed up on it.
I mean, what the fuck?
Not to mention, I flew around the world one time in a plane.
So the pilots must have been in on it, right?
Like, just do a subtle...
I flew from LA to Australia, back to New Zealand, up to Singapore, Hong Kong,
Mumbai, then Dubai, then New York City, and then to LA.
Okay?
I did that.
And if you're going to sit there and tell me that this guy was doing all these
twisties and turnies and all of that type of shit.
That essentially...
That every...
I can't get into it.
I mean, dude, there's a fucking reason why when they fly to Europe, they fly
north first before they head over the fucking ocean.
It's because it's round.
And up top there, it's a shorter distance, and they save money on fuel.
Or is the map that I'm watching on the plane also lying to me?
Which would mean all of these fucking people know that it's really fucking flat,
and for whatever reason, they're all lying to people like me.
And for what?
I actually think you're just doing this just to fuck with me, just to watch me
get worked up.
I will go along with a lot of fucking conspiracy theory, but I just can't with
that one.
I can't.
I can't do it.