Name: Why I Don't Care About Being Obese - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2021-08-22T14:13:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Why I Don't Care About Being Obese - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Why I Don't Care About Being Obese - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-22. Transcript available.

Okay, here we go. Why I don't care about being obese. All right, dear Bill, I
don't listen to your podcast a lot, mostly just YouTube clips and your specials
on Netflix.
While on YouTube the other day, I came across Bill Maher's opinion on fat shaming,
which led to this rabbit hole of different celebrities sharing their opinion on
obesity.
Then I remembered you. Are you calling me a celebrity? Thank you.
On your special, talking about how plus-size models wanted to be treated as
beautiful or fatties, as you call them.
I'm morbidly obese, and I agree. These people are not beautiful, and I doubt
the vast majority of the general populace think that they are beautiful unless
you have a BBW kink.
I don't know what that is. Having said that, I, being a fatty, am impervious to
fat shaming.
I know I am ugly. Okay, we share that. I know I'm ugly, too. All right?
And fat, and no one would want to touch me. The thing is, I don't care.
Okay. Well, you care on some level, because you're writing me.
This is not to say that I allow being fat to overly interfere in other people's
lives.
I normally buy a business class seat because they are bigger, and I won't make
the person next to me feel squished.
If I can't fit in the car with my friends, I'll hire a cab or an Uber, which
takes me along with them to wherever we want to go.
I know being fat is curable. The thing is, I don't want to cure it.
You're just going to...
That's fucking...
This guy's like the punk rock fat guy.
That was like this guy I know who's been just boozing his face off forever, and
he's never tried to quit.
There's something... I don't know.
There's something I envy about that.
Anyway, and if someone tries to shame me rather than persuade me to cure it, it
just irritates me.
At one point, I literally recreated the $100 to fuck off meme.
I don't know what that is.
Let me explain why I don't care or why other fat people might not.
For me, food is an addiction.
Not only fast food like McDonald's or Burger King, even gourmet food like carolala
lobster, I don't know what that is, or shikora cara.
This addiction combined with the high-stress environment of the education
system here leads to a lot of stress eating.
Eating helps me cope with the pressure associated with exams here.
Eating also...
Yeah, but dude, you can...
Cigar smoking helped me take the edge off the day, and drinking did all of that.
You can pick...
You can choose something different, dude.
Don't kill yourself.
You're going to kill yourself.
Eating also is both a...
You know what it is?
I kind of figured out why I abused alcohol, edibles, cigars, and shit like that.
I figured out.
I was like, I figured out because I wasn't happy with myself.
And I had all of this pain from fucking years and years and years ago that I
never dealt with.
And when I would start to feel these feelings, rather than allowing myself to
feel them, figure out what they were, talk to them about somebody, cry it out
of you, whatever you had to do.
I would just booze my face off and yell and get in arguments with complete
strangers about a fucking Minnesota Twins versus Red Sox game 40 years ago.
Something fucking stupid like that.
So, you know, I don't know.
You're not asking for advice, so I won't give you any.
But I hope that, you know, at some point, you know, you turn it around.
Now, all right, eating also is both a literal and figurative escape for me.
Eating can be figurative escape because it allows me to cope.
As said earlier, literally, I'm hoping I get a heart attack and no one finds me
until it's too late.
And I figure at this point, you're asking yourself, well, why don't you use a
razor blade or a noose?
To be completely honest, I'm a shit-eating coward.
I'm both scared of death and kind of welcome it.
Dude, I swear to you, you have no idea how alike you are with me.
I'm too scared to plug in the toaster and drop in the bath.
Yet when my heart gives out, I'm not going to cry out for help.
I'm just going to lay on the floor, close my eyes and be at peace.
Wow, dude, you're kind of scaring me here because I don't want you to do any of
this shit to you.
But I'm also, it's freaking me out how much I relate to everything you just
wrote.
Until then, I'm going to study for my log exam and work a few odd jobs just
because I am scared.
All this is not to say that your jokes are not good.
They're fucking awesome.
Honestly, I kind of don't understand why people would get offended at a joke
unless it was really egregious.
You and a few other people online are what's making my life slightly less bearable.
Keep making the same jokes you always make and never give a fuck about what
other people think.
Best wishes.
Yeah, dude, you got to fucking figure out why you're doing that to yourself.
You know?
That fucking shit, dude, that you just wrote there, which I think a lot of
people relate to, where, you know, I don't kill myself because I'm too afraid
to do it.
But like, you know, death does seem like a fucking like, ah, it's over.
You know what I mean?
I totally 100% relate to that.
But I don't know.
Hey, man, you like to eat, right?
Why don't you eat some mushrooms?
Maybe you'll have the same fucking results that I did.
Which is, I realized how much loneliness, sadness, and depression was in me for
so long.
And I actually figured out where it came from.
And now I'm in therapy and I'm trying to figure that out.
And because of that, since the end of February, I haven't done any damage to
myself.
Other than fucking, you know, some milkshakes or whatever.
But fucking, I've tried to like, figure out why it is I was doing to myself
what I was doing.
Which is, I think, you know, whatever it is, boozing, overeating, whatever the
fuck it is.
If you can figure out the why, then you can try to fix that.
And then I think, shit, it's easier to kind of like level stuff out, I think.
But you're also talking about somebody who's only for two months.
I'm new to this shit.
So anyway, I hope you turn around if you want to turn it around.
But all right, that's it.
Okay.
You seem like a cool guy.
All right.