Name: Girlfriend Wants Me to Move Out - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2021-08-23T05:12:56.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Girlfriend Wants Me to Move Out - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Girlfriend Wants Me to Move Out - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-23. Transcript available.

all right girlfriend wants me to move out dear billy long nuts
is that an age joke if that's an age joke that's fucking hilarious
uh i'm a 21 year old college student um that billy long nuts is fucking if that's
because you're old and your balls are hanging down low that is fucking
hilarious
um is that my native american name him billy long nuts um all right i'm a 21
year old college
student and my girlfriend and i have been arguing a lot because she wants me to
move out of my
parents house into a house share so that we can be closer wait wait wait wait
wait wait i'm a 21
year old college and my girlfriend and i have been arguing a lot because she
wants me to move out of
my parents house oh i think she meant she wanted you her to move out you guys
were living again and
she wanted you to move out i was like all right you're 21 some of the great
greatest news you could
ever get all right she wants me to move out of my parents house into a house
share so that we can be
closer we currently live 40 minutes from each other she makes ominous
statements about the
practical practical practicality of our relationship and if i don't move and
catch
and catches an attitude because of it every time we meet up or talk on the
phone it's getting
exhausting and i feel a lot of pressure from her constantly bringing it up all
right and how does
that make you feel
do you like feeling pressured do you like somebody giving you an attitude
because you're doing what it
is that you want to do rather than what she wants you to do buddy this is the
tip of the iceberg and
and this is this thing that manipulative people do is she's going to make it
seem like
that when you move in with her that this pressure and all of this is going to
end and you're going
to be happy you'll be happy for week 10 days and then she's going to start with
this again you are laying
the groundwork for this relationship where she's going to get to use her
emotions as as like this this
this manipulative tool to get you to sit up beg go for a walk take out the
trash and do all of this
i can tell you right now dude do not i don't even need to read the rest of it
don't even move anyway
she's moving out of home uh to live in her gram dude did you voice texas i'm
going to write i'm
going to read just how you wrote it she is moving out of her home to live in
her grandmother who passed
away's house in the city so she won't be paying rent okay so her grandmother
died she wants you to move in
there because it's her family home she doesn't want me to stay over or for us
to have sex there
sir did you really need you really need my advice here i respect this boundary
this however sucks as
it means that the decision for us to have a sex life and private time together
rests in my hands
yeah dude she's she's she's fucking she's boxing you in i really want to move
out but it would cost me
about 600 a month plus bills and food and i'm not sure i can afford it i have
explained this to her but
she says that her paying bills in her grandmother's house makes us even i'll be
honest with you i
fucking hate this chick i'm just being honest i also have an unpaid work
placement abroad next year
which i need to save for that will cost me three to four thousand dollars there
you go buddy that's
the carrot on the stick you need to be be be chasing my parents do not and will
not financially support
me i really love this girl and despite the obstacles of not having privacy and
the distance between us our
relationship has been great up until this point i'm starting to wonder if it'll
work out what do you
think i should do i think you should stay at home and save up that three to
four grand and she should
understand that i think you should tell her how her pressuring you makes you
feel and if she doesn't
acknowledge this and doesn't care about your feelings and it's all about her it's
the tip of the
fucking iceberg and consider yourself lucky that you're not living with her
when you break up with her
that's it um if i learned anything in the last few months of therapy it's just
like you know i have
not acknowledged my feelings and my feelings were not acknowledged my entire
time growing up which is
why i'm an angry person because when i start to feel feelings that i don't like
in my head i just have
to go to anger because i never thought i could just be like hey man i really
don't like that because
i grew up in the sit down and shut the fuck up generation so none of this makes
you feel good
so you need to tell that to her and there's no fucking way you move in with
this chick ever
under these circumstances where she is basically
fucking uh using her emotions to get you to do what she wants to do and then
having a fucking attitude
i mean do you realize like seriously if i can just take a second here like that
childish behavior
that so many women get away with with the guys in their relationship that you
basically have to
dance to their fucking tune or they won't be happy because then what ends up
happening is your happiness
has to exist within the circle of their happiness and at that point you're no
longer an individual
you've lost yourself in the relationship you've become like like this emotional
fucking hostage
and it's fucking bullshit it's fucking bullshit all right so sorry i'm fucking
got gas here i don't know i think i wolfed down this fucking piece of toast
before this i apologize um
belching up a storm here uh yeah so that and any person male or female
listening to this
don't ever move in with somebody if if that is the way it's going down don't
ever get involved
in a business or a personal intimate relationship where the other person is
using their fucking
moods as a way to get you to do something that you do not want to do but they
wear you out because
you just want to seem happy hey fuck their happiness their happiness is not
your responsibility your
happiness is your responsibility and you don't fucking move in with somebody
until their happiness and
your happiness intersect that's it go fuck yourselves i'll talk to you on thursday