Name: Man Lived Alone on an Island for 32 Years - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2021-08-28T03:33:20.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Man Lived Alone on an Island for 32 Years - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Man Lived Alone on an Island for 32 Years - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-28. Transcript available.

Here we go, man living alone on an Italian island to leave after 32 years.
I've been living alone on an island mentally since 1974.
Jesus Christ, you should see this guy, man.
He looks like he's been living alone on an island, and they did nothing to try
to make him look better.
Then they photoshopped some fucking island behind him.
This is what people looked like before there was lotion.
My God, it looks like you unwrapped a mummy.
I'm too vain.
Oh, he's 81 years old.
You know what? He doesn't look that bad.
My fault. I thought he was like 36.
What would that mean he got to the island at fucking 32?
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Not 32.
32.
If he's 81, I'm all fucked up here.
He'd be 36 years old.
That's what it is.
All right.
So he's 81 minus 32.
He moved there at 49.
Yeah, I can see that.
Yep.
If you're going to live alone on an island right around 49, I can see that.
That's a good age to move.
You know, you do it when you're too young.
It's just like, all right.
You don't know how to talk to chicks.
You're fucking, you're freaking out too much.
You're thinking, you're thinking, you're getting too far ahead of the game.
You know?
But at 49, okay, you gave life a shot.
You tried to, you tried it.
Okay.
I'm going to get that one bedroom apartment.
I'm going to go to Ikea and I'm going to buy some stuff.
You know, when you're sitting there, am I feeling it?
Is there a sense of happiness and fulfillment?
Not yet.
Not, oh, what are those Crocs?
Is that what everybody's wearing?
I'll fucking get some of those.
Hey, I got a girlfriend.
Let's, let's go to the Olive Garden.
You gave it, you gave it a, I'll get into the local team.
I'll buy the merch.
I'll know all the stats.
You gave it a shot.
And it didn't take.
And usually, at that point, you got two choices.
Well, you got three.
You know?
One is to roll credits, which you don't want to do.
Second, you know, you turn to some sort of fucking mind-altering shit.
To numb the pain, which is never good.
On three.
The healthiest of them all.
You just fucking walk away from society.
Let's listen to this guy's story.
All right?
Maru Morandi, 81, moved to Budeli.
Off northern Sardinia in 1989.
Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that wall.
I don't know when the fuck that, it was right around then, right?
Well, he was already out by 89.
That was George Bush.
Not gonna do it, right?
Mike Dukakis, sticking his head out the fucking tank.
Last year, however, Mr. Morandi said the owner of the island, which is famed
for its pink beach, wanted him to relocate.
Well, I mean, you know, for a guy that owns his own island, to let a guy live
there rent-free for 32 years is pretty fucking cool before he gets vilified.
The guy on the island, Mr. Morandi, said, I will leave hoping that in the
future, Budeli will be protected as I have protected it for 32 years, he wrote
on Facebook on Sunday.
Oh, he loved the island and nature.
I like this guy.
Speaking to BBC Outlook in 2018, the former physical education teacher, he was
a gym teacher, said he had always been a bit of a rebel.
I was quite fed up with a lot of things about our society, consumerism and the
political situation in Italy.
Yeah, he must have been real fed up if he walked away from the best food on the
planet.
Mr. Morandi said, I decided to move to a desert island in Polynesia, away from
all civilization.
I wanted to start a new life close to nature.
This guy actually gets life.
As fucking nuts as this guy seems, this guy gets life.
Although it would have been nice if he brought somebody with him, you know.
Or maybe he gets life more than me.
This guy can actually fucking be alone.
Anyway, after beginning their journey by sea, he and a number of his friends,
oh, they had friends that were going to do this with him.
He and a number of friends landed on the Italian archipelago, I don't know how
to say that,
but after arriving on Budale and meeting the island guardian who was about to
retire, Mr. Morandi decided to stay and has remained ever since looking after
the island and speaking to tourists.
Jesus Christ, can you imagine if you fucking pull, you didn't know he was there?
It's a deserted island and all of a sudden this guy comes walking out from
behind the ferns.
Is that Tom Hanks?
Are they doing a sequel?
However, he has faced a number of eviction threats over the years.
In 2020, the president of La Madeline, National Park Fabrizio Fonesu, told CNN
that Mr. Morandi had carried out illegal alterations to his hut.
Oh, for fuck's sakes.
A former radio station dating back to World War II.
That's what he lived in.
How fucking cool is that?
A petition calling on Italian government to allow him to stay gathered more
than 70,000 signatures.
But on Sunday, Mr. Morandi announced the decision to leave, telling the
Guardian newspaper that he would move to a small flat on the nearby island of
La Madeline.
My life won't change too much.
I'll still see the sea.
You know, wasn't that a nice, that was a nice heartwarming story.
You know, I know he never found love.
He did.
He found it with the sea in the fucking island.
Jesus Christ.
I mean, I want to talk to that guy about his fucking existence.
Just waking up, not being like, ah, fuck, I got to do this podcast and then I
got to go run over here.
Then I got to rehab my fucking shoulder and all of this shit.
You know, I got to, oh, what are we, Instagram?
Everybody's going over to TikTok.
I got to go over to fucking TikTok now.
He didn't have to deal with any of that shit.
You just fucking wake up, be like, all right.
I think I'll climb up that tree and have some coconut water for breakfast.
Then every once in a while being excited when tourists showed up, all of them
trying to get away from jeggings and fucking crocs and flat screen TVs.
That they get on a boat and they come out there and they see him happy as hell,
living in a fucking World War II radio hut.
And that guy gave people a great perspective.
Good for him.
All right, that's it.
The little family's going to be getting up soon.
So I got to go do that shit.
Oh, Billy taking it easy.
Oh, Billy slowing it down a little bit.
You know, before my fall tour, before it gets crazy again.
What is today?
Today's it's almost the end of the month, right?
It's got to be what, the 29th, 30th?
What is it?
The 29th.
All right.
There you go.
Two months without cigars or anything else.
I'm thinking maybe I'll have a cigar when I fucking watch the Kentucky Derby.
Although my first thought is, but then, dude, you're going to start that
bullshit back up again.
We'll see.
We'll see what the fuck happens.
I don't know.
Anyway, that's the podcast.
I was just checking in on you, just like that guy on the island, like you just
pulled up.
Hope everything's good with you.
I hope you get a chance to sit on a porch and eat a sandwich.
You know?
Just fucking chill out and not look at your fucking phone, you know?
Because I'm so self-involved that I think that you suffer from the exact same
things that I do.
Because the universe exists between my ears.
Sorry.
Sorry.