Name: Narcissistic Cyclist - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2021-09-02T13:14:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Narcissistic Cyclist - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Narcissistic Cyclist - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-02. Transcript available.

so i get out right i'm driving down the street and the person in front of me is
driving like
super fucking slow or whatever and there's this fucking guy i couldn't get mad
at him he was on
a bicycle right but he was at least over on the side of the road so he was
trying to share the
road right as opposed to those fucking assholes that run like ride like two
side by side out in
the road with their whole share the road thing like you know you have to
fucking you know acknowledge
me and fucking be safe around me and all that and then you watch him blow
through red lights and
stop signs even though they're legally required to follow the same rules of the
road they all
fucking fly through they don't put their feet down with their little dancing
slippers that they have
clicked in like they're in some fucking time trial right so anyway this guy's
driving down the street
and what's fucking hilarious to me is from the waist down he looks like a drunk
driver who lost his
license he's trying to get to work he's got on jeans regular sneakers and he's
riding on the side of the
road but up top he's got the fucking yellow lance armstrong jersey like he's
the leader in the
fucking race so that just cracked me up so i was actually muttering to myself
going you know i'd get
mad at this guy but he's obviously leading this fucking race here of drunk
drivers convicted drunk
drivers so i don't want to get mad at him but um he fucking blew through two
red lights in the time i was
behind him it was hilarious just fucking hilarious um it's not hilarious but
when they get hit then they
act like it's some fucking tragedy and it's just like you know i saw a thing on
fucking instagram this
guy in a motorcycle now i love fucking motorcycles and that type of shit but if
you're gonna do fucking
wheelies in traffic this fucking guy is doing this wheelie right fucking down
and this person goes to make a
fucking u-turn and this guy doesn't see him because he's doing a fucking wheelie
and fortunately full speed or whatever like doing like i swear to god like 50
miles an hour
slammed into the passenger rear side door and everybody's like oh my god that
person doing the
u-turn what a fucking asshole blah blah blah blah blah few people said they
were both at fault but
nobody addressed the fact that if that dude with that fucking bike had hit the
driver's side door
perpendicular like that i mean i would think you would do could kill somebody
doing that right
i don't know i kind of feel like bike riders motorcycle riders and fat people
and feminists
never think they're in the wrong
all right sorry every once in a while you just gotta say some dumb shit to make
sure the emails keep
coming in that ought to get them going you know and what's funny is guys who
ride bikes shave their
legs but women who are feminists do not it's weird it's just a fucking weird
thing and fat people would
shave their legs but they can't get to it uh they oh my god you could sell one
for 1999 you know that
shit you know that helps like you know those big people fucking wash their
backs you know i'm miming it
right now it's like it's like it's like a fucking loofah with with a fucking uh
flagpole attached to
it right it's a tent stick right you do that you get one of those for uh with a
shaving blade on the
end of it you know 1999 oh my god my legs have not looked this smooth in years
um all right i think
that's enough fucking ignorance just every once in a while you gotta prime the
pump people you know
You know what I mean?