Name: Shark or Lion - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2021-09-07T14:24:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Shark or Lion - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Shark or Lion - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-07. Transcript available.

all right shark or lion hey there billy the freckled butthole burr i have a
question for you
i listened to your segment on sharks the other day and wants to know if you had
to if you had
to choose gun to your head being eaten by a shark in the open ocean oh my god
or be eaten by a lion
in the bush ah dude that's the easiest question ever he goes i know either way
you're going to
you're going to get eaten however my thing my thinking is that it would be
better to get
mauled by a lion than a shark at least with the lion you don't have to you don't
have to fight
drowning as well i would like to know what your opinion is on this very
important topic love to
stand up in the podcast well thank you uh keep well and go fuck yourself a
south african fan shout out
to south africa um oh a lion all day long and i am basing that on you know sig
free and roy i think
that was a tiger whatever a big cat dude that thing grabbed him and within two
seconds he went limp
and then that was it i'm not saying i'm happy that happened it was absolutely
horrific whatever but like
you know you're playing with lions and tigers you know eventually something's
gonna happen right
so he just went fucking limp choked out immediately what i love about cats big
fucking cats is they put
they it's over they grab you you're like oh and then they just clamp down and
they choke you out
you ask any mma person they would rather get fucking choked out than knocked
out they don't want to do
you know it's just you know you go to sleep and you woke up oh i lost oh okay i
don't have any cognitive
damage you just go to sleep and you would wake up wherever the fuck you go or
you're just dead you
know if that's what happens like a squirrel you're just dead a shark is gonna
bite you first you can't
fucking see it it's gonna take a bite out of you to see what you taste like to
see if there's any sort
of threat there oh my god then it's gonna pull you under the water as you're
fighting to breathe and
stay above the water not even close and the fucking loneliness of being out in
the middle of the
fucking ocean you oh my god you can just you can take that uh that shark thing
any fucking day you
know i absolutely i would almost if you said would you rather get killed by a
lion or just bitten by a shark
but you're gonna live i know survival i would have to choose the shark but just
going okay it's gonna
happen and they drop you in the water just waiting fuck that you know that's
why i can't stand bears
as much as i love a bear the fact that they just don't grab their prey by the
neck and put them out of
their misery they just fucking hold them down like a big dummy you know and
just start biting fucking
you know i don't it's terrible i don't want to get mauled uh i want to get choked
out that was an easy
one absolutely fucking easy