Name: My Girlfriend’s Sister - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2021-09-14T04:17:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'My Girlfriend’s Sister - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-14. Transcript available. A listener writes in about his girlfriend's toxic sister.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'My Girlfriend’s Sister - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-14. Transcript available. A listener writes in about his girlfriend's toxic sister.

All right, let's get to your girlfriend's sister.
Oh, geez.
What do you want to do, the combo platter today?
You trying to bang her too?
Hey, Billy Red Balls, I'm 20,
and I've been dating my girlfriend for a few years now.
It's been going great.
However, she has a younger sister that won't shut up.
Okay.
She has a younger sister that won't shut up.
I'm 20, and I've been dating her.
She talks shit and brings up how, in high school,
I used to smoke ganja all the time.
I don't anymore.
I've been pulling my life together.
I don't smoke.
I work out.
I even started college for psychology.
Good for you, but nothing changes her opinion of me.
Well, why do you give a fuck what she thinks?
My girlfriend and her mom has tried helping,
but it's gone nowhere.
Well, that's good that they're on your side anyway.
I feel like a bitch just letting her walk all over me
because if I do speak up, it will not be nice at all.
She still thinks I'm some sort of hooligan
who doesn't do shit.
She hates men and only really respects any guys
who are drop-dead gorgeous.
I say this because I've only heard her talk good about dudes
who are sculpted like Greek gods.
She does swing both ways,
and even her on-again, off-again girlfriend trashed me.
Oh, Jesus.
Well, I mean, you know, her girlfriend,
in her defense, her idea of you is from her girlfriend.
I try being nice by buying her Christmas gifts and birthday gifts.
She will then be nice for one day,
but immediately after, she goes back to trashing me and hating me.
All right, so what you have on your hands here is a cunt.
So what you should do, what I would do,
the first thing you do is be really nice to her girlfriend.
Always compliment her.
Hey, I really like that shirt.
Laugh at her jokes.
Just always say something nice.
Hey, good to see you.
You know what I mean?
Just divide and conquer.
And then when her twat of a sister gives you shit,
just agree with her.
Smoke, Ganja.
I'm fucking dealing now.
I actually have some buried under the house.
I'm going to take you guys all down with me.
I would just do that.
Sarcasm, agree with her,
and, you know, just laugh.
And just, then it becomes a one-sided war.
I think the reason why she's still doing this to you,
aside from maybe some personal issues,
is that she sees that it's getting to you,
and she's getting a rise from you.
He says here in the last paragraph,
she's a hurt human who causes a lot of her own issues,
and she's very hypocritical.
Sounds like your standard human being.
I mean, you just described me.
Myself, as well as her family,
don't know how, don't know what to do.
I'm starting to hate being around my girlfriend's house,
and I love her family, so it's hard.
Any advice will help, by the way.
Nice show in Boston.
Thank you.
Well, thank you for coming out.
I would just have fun with it, dude.
You're letting a person that has no effect on your life.
Yeah.
It just, you're just,
there's no reason to let this person affect you.
All right?
You know why she's doing this shit.
It has nothing to do with you.
Hey, you know, I was thinking this the other day.
Did you hear, I guess at one point, Donald Trump told his followers to get the
vaccination,
and then they booed him.
I got such a kick out of that, if that even happened, I didn't see it.
Somebody told me that that happened, that they booed him, and then I was
thinking like,
you know what, that must, that's like the politician equivalent of like when
Bob Dylan went electric.
You know, he was playing acoustic, and everybody's like, yeah, man, coffee
house, acoustic.
And then he came out electric, and then all his fans were like, boo, do what
you always did.
I feel like that's what happened to him.
Like I said, even if, in fact, if that even happened.
Anyway, that is the podcast.
To that last kid, just fucking have fun with it.
Just agree with her.
You fucking pothead.
I know.
You know, thank God I haven't moved on to Coke yet, or have I?
I would just do that.
And then say to her girlfriend, hey, you know, I like your shirt.
I'd just do that.
I would just have a fucking great time with it.
And, you know, I guess that's what you have to do.
I don't know.
It's too bad you're dealing with that.
But just know that eventually, if her sister continues to go the route she's
going,
she's, you know, it's going to be a train wreck, which you really shouldn't
wish on anybody.
But if she's being an asshole to you, at least it won't feel tragic.
You can maybe kind of enjoy the fact that she's completely miserable, because
that's what she sounds like.
You know, but whatever you do, don't get mad at her.
You know, and say something fucked up, because then she'll use that against you.
She'll just try to have a good time.
All right, so that's it, everybody.
That is the podcast.