Name: Dogs With Rabies and Son Smacking Kids - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2021-09-16T06:15:57.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dogs With Rabies and Son Smacking Kids - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dogs With Rabies and Son Smacking Kids - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-16. Transcript available.

Old Billy fucking Twinkle Toes is gonna go work out now.
Keep it going.
I'm gonna get a rapid test before I go back into my house.
If not, they'll have me tied to the back of the house like old Yeller when he
was going mad.
You know, there's a story kids don't have anymore.
Remember when our dog got rabies and dad made me go out and shoot it?
Is there any wonder when those people beat their kids with a belt?
Now what do we do?
I had to put my dog down.
I know, that's so sad.
Did you feel, did you feel sad?
That's so bad.
You had to put your dogs down.
So bad and you felt sad.
There's all these support groups.
Back in the day as an eight-year-old, you had to shoot your own fucking dog
after it got,
after it saved your ass from a rabid fucking raccoon, right?
It fucking saved you from one of them varmints, right?
And then you had to go out and pay it back by what?
Putting it out of its fucking misery.
Old Yeller.
Go out there, blow its fucking head off.
And then you had to bury the dog.
Come inside with the sniffles.
Quit your crying!
Quit your crying off its fucking tire.
I hear that scarecrow, you little fucking sissy boy!
You had to deal with that.
Going to school, jealous of the kids that could afford shoes.
You're sitting there with your fucking dirty feet.
I heard he had to shoot his dog last night.
Everybody tease you.
Johnny's got no dog.
It's a fucking rough time.
You know what I mean?
You think about how those people grew up, and then you look at what half the
people are bitching about on fucking social media.
I had a proud day as a father.
My son was at the park, and he's playing with some other babies.
And one of the kids took a toy from him, and my kid gave him a smack.
And I've got to tell you, it did not surprise me in the least.
It did not surprise anybody in my family that that's what he did.
All right?
We just, yeah.
He's got a minute.
You know, if I take him away from something, he doesn't like it.
He gets mad, throws his back back, like arches his back as I'm holding on to
him, going,
and you can't, buddy.
I'm sorry.
You're going to get hurt.
And then it's like he's getting, remember a high five, and then you had the 10,
the double high five?
That's what he does to my face.
He rears back and just slaps me on my bald head.
And I try not to laugh.
I'm like, buddy, you can't hit people like that.
But inside, as a father, I like that instinct.
I'm going to get him some baby wife beaters.
Or whatever you're supposed to call them now, tank tops.
I love how he can't say wife beater anymore.
I thought that was giving ladies their heads up.
Sweetheart, he's wearing a wife beater.
What are you doing?
Go meet yourself a nice guy with a dress shirt on.
What do you say?
Only guys with tank tops beat women?
Yes.
Generally speaking.
No, I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.