Name: The Burr Family Is Sick, Nia’s Passive Aggression and South Park - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2021-09-24T14:14:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Burr Family Is Sick, Nia’s Passive Aggression and South Park - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Burr Family Is Sick, Nia’s Passive Aggression and South Park - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-24. Transcript available.

both my kids got sick and my wife got sick and i was just you know you know
doing all the
fucking vitamins and all of that shit trying not to get sick we all got tested
it wasn't
fucking covid the usual shit right so um you know i was laying down in the bed
and my daughter came
in and we were playing around or whatever and she was coughing all over me so
then yesterday i woke
up and i was like ah shit right so i canceled everything so i fucking stayed in
bed
i tried to stay in bed but i have a fucking you know i have a wife so you know
they don't let you
do that shit i swear you know you never realize how much of a fucking butler
you are in your own
house until you're trying until you're sick you know dude your wife doesn't
give a fuck if they're
sick or whatever you gotta fucking do i'm i'm fucking going i go look i'm i'm
feeling it coming
on i'm trying to fight it off i canceled my show tonight i feel like if i just
lay down i take
this i drink a bunch of water i can fight this fucking thing off which is what
i did listen to
me listen how fucking strong i sound today so i'm laying there in bed god for
fucking bid god for
fucking bid i lay down you know and fucking chill out i'm fucking chilling out
my lovely wife i love her
death right she calls me up i'm like hello laying in bed she goes hi i'm coming
up i'm coming down the
street i got you got your son in the car and some bags you come outside and
help and i wanted to be
like well didn't i tell you that i was sick in bed and i'm trying not to get
sick then you know what
they do then they make you know i already told that she knew that that's what i
was doing but
then if i say that in that moment you know what reaction you get you get oh
okay fine i was just
asking and then then they they hit it back over to you now it's on your side of
the net the fact
that you're sick and you need to fucking rest is somehow you're doing something
wrong
so i didn't say anything i gave her a passive aggressive i said yes but i said
it angrily
can you come downstairs help with the packages i was like yeah it's not like i'm
not up here
fucking trying not to get sick or anything
just out of curiosity how did you get my son in the packages in the car to
begin with
are you low on battery life i don't the amount of fucking times i pull into the
driveway
with one of both the kids in fucking packages i just make two trips
right my wife isn't even sick do i get credit for that fuck no
huh do i get any extra stamps down at the video store so i can rent fucking uh
scent of a woman
for fucking a dollar 99 a day back in the day at the old blockbuster no i do
not i don't get any credit
i get nothing
you know what my wife's a hot shit so i'm gonna give a shit about that
i'm gonna do i'm gonna go down to some one of these fucking antique stores and
i'm gonna buy one of
those old-fashioned bells isn't that what those fucking broads used to do they
would ring a bell
and then the fucking guy would come up the stairs
right the old bugs bunny cartoons
yes ma'am uh what is it that you totally have the physical capability of doing
yourself but you'd
rather have me do it because you don't want to leave the bedroom
what what is it that you would like me to do
you know
i fucking crushed it this morning i woke up
boo-doo-ba-doo-doo and i felt much better
all right
i came downstairs
i made everybody breakfast
everybody
bing bang boom
i did my daughter's hair before school
all right combed it out parted it down the middle
a couple two ponytails
crushed that came back did all the fucking dishes
wiped down the counter did all of that shit
all of that shit
did i get an attaboy fuck no
oh it's it's a brilliant strategy because then if you bring it up
well i did this this this and this
i know and i appreciate that
why are you yelling
oh well what are you gonna do
what are you gonna do
bitch about it on your podcast and go right back to doing what the fuck you
were doing anyway
um so
yeah i'm psyched i'm back in the gym
and uh i'm still eating like a pregnant woman though i gotta knock that out
you know last night i had a great time uh
my wife had a friend over and we would watch it survivor and shit we had a good
time doing that but i you know
like the dinner was good but then she bought some sweets and shit and i just
sat there like a fucking crackhead
just munching down these molasses seize candies things and i just was like what
am i doing
in the end i like i haven't felt that sick since like halloween when i was a
kid
like why am i doing this to myself
and i realized it's like you know what i do because you're fucking stressed
because you've been working a lot
and you need some days off and you really don't have any coming up
so rather than rearrange your schedule so it's more healthier
what you do is you sit down and watch a reality show
and shove half a box of candy down your throat
this makes it better
stupid
then what you do you wake up the next morning the first thing you do is you rub
your stomach
and you're just like oh jesus christ what did i do
you know if i don't eat until friday maybe i can undo what the fuck i just did
no i'm gonna go to the gym gonna go to the gym um you know i really hate when i
do that i was just
checking to see how much time i'd done and i accidentally shut the fucking
thing off now i gotta
i have to splice two of them together which basically means all i have to do is
just to
hit two extra keys on the keypad so why would that upset me why would that
upset me
you know what it is is i wake up in the morning and there's a panic sometimes
you know that panic
your wife can have in her voice like do you have anything scheduled today like
that's how you wake up
do you have to do your podcast
i do why what's the matter
uh because you know i was just trying to figure out the day oh jesus christ
well why did you come
with that energy you just gave me a little heart attack i didn't come with any
energy
what are you talking about jesus all right let's get off this fucking subject
by the way
i finally saw that south park the south park that uh soda sopa it's soda sopa
now announcing
the residencies at soda sopa the thing on the on gentrification um as always
and i watched that um
with my lovely wife and she laughed her ass off
from the beginning all the way to the end just was dying laughing um it was
awesome man those south
park guys are the best um maybe i'll do that i'll watch another south park with
my wife makes her laugh
we get along instead of having stupid dust up over nothing