Name: Childhood Snack - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2021-10-05T14:00:36.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Childhood Snack - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Childhood Snack - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-05. Transcript available.

All right. Childhood snack. Hey, dear Billy Bottom Bitch Burr, I have a
question for you
that goes back to the days where you were not allowed to touch the thermostat.
But before I
ask the question, I have a story on why I am so interested. My dad told me a
story about one of
his favorite childhood snacks. It was something called a wish sandwich. They
wrote a whole song
about that. You wish you had some meat. Bow, bow, bow, bow. Okay. The
ingredients to the wish
sandwich are two slices of bread, mustard, and you wishing that there was meat
and cheese to go
along with it. My dad's family grew up very poor, and this would be all that
they would eat for a
meal at rough times. Yes, the condiment sandwich. The worst of meals being
crackers and ketchup.
They still laugh about it every now and then. And then they have a wish
sandwich to remember their
childhood. So I got in the habit of asking people their favorite childhood
snack or meal. Would you
be surprised by some, you would be surprised by some people's answers? So I
thought I would ask
a fatty like yourself, what was your favorite childhood snack or meal? Thanks
and go fuck
yourself. Um, my favorite childhood snack. Ah, dude, everything. Everything. I've
already talked to you
about steakums. That's when I felt like I was becoming an adult. When I would
come home and I would make
myself a steakum, which was paper thin beef from some sort of animal that was
like frozen. And then you'd
put it in the pan. And when it became like see-through and brown, you'd flip it
over. Then you put a
little cheese on top and then you'd stick it on some white bread and try to eat
it before all the grease
made it off. Soak and wet bread. There was those I liked as far as like junk
food goes. I like Fritos. Still my all-time
favorite chip is a Frito. Uh, I never made the leap to Doritos. I just don't
like them. The original, the winter,
winter green, whatever they got, every fucking flavor. Doritos, ice, Zimas, Doritos.
I don't like any of them. I like Fritos. I used to
like Bugles. Um, I don't know if I'd be into those too much now, but I, I, I'm,
I like Doritos. Uh, as far as
cookies go. All right. I like Oreo cookies. I do like double stuff. I like the
blonde Oreos. I really like
Oreos. Uh, and, uh, everything else. I don't know. Everything else can go fuck
itself as far as cookies
go. Unless you just make like a homemade one, but like, I don't eat that shit
right now. I gotta wait till I get
in shape again. So then I become a fat fuck again when I eat all that crap. Um,
let's see what else I
liked, um, cereal back in the day. I liked Booberry. I liked Count Chocula.
Even though I'm a ginger,
I still didn't like Frankenberry. I liked, uh, shredded wheat with like a pound
of sugar on it. Um,
I liked cornflakes, raisin bran Cheerios. And then when I became an adult, if I
was going to treat
myself to a cereal that I shouldn't be eating, it was cinnamon life. And then
as far as like those
pre-caked fucking things, uh, Twinkies can go fuck themselves, uh, Twinkies
cause they don't taste like
anything. Devil dogs cause they're fucking as dry as anything I've ever had in
my fucking life. Um,
Hostess cupcakes weren't that bad. I liked those. They, they at least weren't
dry,
but I wasn't into yodels or any of that shit. I didn't like a lot of the cakes,
man. Um, but as far
as like growing up, you know, you know, we, we had money, then we didn't have
money, then we had a
little money and then I moved out. So like we sort of always were like chipped
beef on toast, chicken
a la King, uh, Hungarian goulash. We ate all of that shit, pork chops,
occasionally cube steaks, as you
guys know, you know, the fucking seventies meat. And that wasn't even
considered fucking poor food.
It was just, you know, I told you until I hung out with black people. I thought
macaroni and cheese
was a fucking main dish. That's what we, we ate it as a main dish. Like we were
having pasta. My
mother would fucking take out like, you know, four little, those little fucking
TV dinner crates of
them, heat them up in the oven. Then you'd peel off the top and then you just
heat them up in the oven
and then you just throw it in a bowl and everybody would eat them.
We'd have it with toast and it was delicious.