Name: My Staff Is Running Me Out of My Company - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2021-10-14T14:30:36.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'My Staff Is Running Me Out of My Company - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'My Staff Is Running Me Out of My Company - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-14. Transcript available.

all right my staff is running me out of my company well jesus christ you got a
mutiny
going on here hi bill blue balls i am writing from latin america nice english
is not my first
language so apologies beforehand hablo espanol um oh your english seems great
so far i am
the owner of a woman's underwear retail concept fancy enough for you uh what
does concept mean
i employ only women as it is difficult for us guys to select and sell these
products oh yeah you want
a woman's if you're making women's underwear you want a woman to be like i
would wear that i like
that uh where is the crotch in that one you fucking pervert all right so you
know trying something out
uh let's just say women do a better job at picking and selling bras and panties
than you or me would
do exactly i do have 30 plus years experience in managing these products and
have a good
understanding so basically my team's my team does day to day i do oversight
mind you this is a small
ass business wait english is your second language and you say this is a small
ass business that's
pretty impressive uh three stores and a web sale and web sales sorry uh the
thing is i have a team
i take good care of all women they manage their schedule all six of them have
kids and come and go
as long as they do the work whenever we are together i would try to get lunch
blah blah blah and all that
oh you pay for it i think i was a good boss now is the team group bigger
nothing i say or do is
appreciated you are not a woman you don't understand if i stress too much i'm
pushing if i let loose i am
out of touch bill i just cannot win with these ladies well what the fuck dude
you never hung around
with women before would you think was gonna be easier nothing i do is okay yeah
you sound like
every married guy you know i am the drive i am driving the web sales putting
much emphasis on it
as you should know nowadays and anything i try to implement they don't like i
become a scared shell
of a man second guesser of myself and everything and i find myself pitching
things to my staff scared
they will not like it all right you lost your confidence you got to get a
victory uh thing is
three weeks ago i got fed up and had the i've had it with you moment and have
not been back to the
office only digital communication oh dude you gave up the castle i know this is
not a long-term solution
also three months ago had a heart attack i'm 54 and came out of it better than
before but apparently
with no tolerance for bullshit bill what can i do thank you for all you do and
go fuck yourself all
right the first thing you do is you don't argue with women all right you just
get quiet to saying
something you don't agree at the end of the day dude you're the boss so they
don't have any fucking
power over you unless you give it to them all right so what you have to fucking
do is you have to be
um it's the seinfeld thing master your domain except you're talking about your
emotions all right
you're not doing anything wrong you're employing everybody there you're letting
them come and go as
they please you're being a great boss according to you and you know all you're
doing is pitching ideas
all right so um what would i do um if there's an idea i believe in i wouldn't
give a fuck what they
say i'd stick with it and that that's a way to build back up your confidence
and i guess you know
to show them that you know everything that they say i think you've you've over
you've kind of let the
the nuts run the nut house um i've never done this i've never run a small
business like this but uh
i don't know why you had a heart attack did you have a heart attack because of
stress or because
of the way you were eating were you stress eating i have no idea it's a lot of
variables here this
one's a little out of my fucking um wheelhouse and i got issues with women
obviously so i don't
i'm probably not the best person to to talk to um and most of my issues with
women have to do with
not being wanting to be controlled i don't like when people try to fucking
control me plan out my day
tell me what i need to wear and all of that shit it drives me up the fucking
wall especially if i'm
not doing it to you i don't like people like that male or female and if you get
into a relationship
i don't know if it's the motherly instinct it's just sort of uh you know what
happens and i i just
yeah oh jesus i don't know if i answered your fucking question um i will tell
you this you need to go
into work or they're going to start stealing underwear from you all right well
the cats away
the mice will play as they say so that's the first thing i would do and
secondly you had the heart
attack you can use that to your advantage and say listen i don't need
heightened emotions i'm on the
other side of a heart attack okay uh yeah i would just you just need sort of a
more of a respectable
back and forth and i would you know i don't know it's always dangerous to tell
women what you're
thinking just try what i just said there and you know something i would also
phone a friend here
try to get some better fucking advice i don't know what to tell you um that's a
hell of a situation
you're in there though uh but i'm glad you didn't die from your heart attack
and i hope that you're
eating some fucking greens and chilling the fuck out maybe headspace headspace
meditation um or you
could also introduce a line of men's briefs boxer briefs why don't you do that
and then at least
that's one place where they'll have to shut up even then they'll still chime in
i wouldn't fuck a guy
if he's wearing those all right