Name: Family Conflict Due to a News Network - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2021-10-18T14:27:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Family Conflict Due to a News Network - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Family Conflict Due to a News Network - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-18. Transcript available.

all right cnn and fox news experience uh dear billy balloon breast
i was listening to your bit on the podcast for the 19th time about cnn and fox
and wanted to
share my personal experience as just how messed up the situation is oh i love
hearing from people
that used to work for these fucking companies in 2016 i was 17 years old oh
this is just gonna be
okay and was watching tv with my mom stepdad and sister after dinner we were
watching their favorite
shitshow news channel of choice cnn side note i had just enlisted into the army
and was set to leave
for basic training that summer anyways i can't recall exactly what the segment
was covering but
it had something to do with fear mongering about the conflict in the middle
east because my stepdad
knows that i don't feed mindlessly off the bullshit that cnn and fox news uh i
am of course on the
outside of the click so he likes to use things like that to start up a fight he
questioned me
about the topic but to him the only correct answer is whatever bullshit the
almighty cnn spews
into their followers uh one thing led to another and before the night was over
he told me in front of
my mother and sister that i would inevitably die in the middle east because i
don't believe in what cnn
spews jesus christ talk about trying to win the argument at all costs after he
realized that i wasn't going to
engage in his stupid pointless argument he threw a punch and i had no choice
but to fight back
uh anyway what started as a stupid argument about our desired news sources
turned into me getting
kicked out of my house at 17 years old i just wanted to give my story about how
these news sources
went from being important sources of information to a sort of team or country
of their own where if
you're not 100 with them you are against them and deemed an enemy of the group
of followers they have
the modern era of news is toxic and needs drastic change yeah not to say that
back in the day
you know they were always spending it but um it wasn't to the level that you
knew who the broadcaster
voted for um which is fucking insane i mean back in the day you thought
wrestling was real and you
didn't know who the fucking broadcaster voted for that was it um anyway sorry
to ramble but anyway i love
the podcast and you stand up and hope to see you at one of your upcoming dates
thanks and go fuck yourself
yeah you know it's the pendulum swings back and forth you know i remember back
in the day when
we were starting all this going to war stuff you couldn't sit there and
question like are we really
going over there for these people's freedom you know am i really supposed to
believe that the way
you've treated the government has treated fucking veterans of all wars the way
that they've treated
poor people people who aren't white and all of this shit in this country the
way they've treated
their own citizens i'm supposed to believe that you care about these people on
the other
side of the planet who are sitting on all of this oil and the oil is not a
factor and i remember back
then if you fucking suggested that that meant that you didn't support the
troops which is so insane
why wouldn't you support your own fucking home team and that uh you know the
whole thing is so
fucking the same fucking people that if you said hey man i think we're going
over there for oil
they're like america love it or leave it you know and now the vaccine comes out
now they're like i
don't trust the government and now why can't i be hey america love it or leave
it they're saying get
the vaccine you're not getting the vaccine you don't support the troops right
so it's just what
it really comes down to is most people they're just fucking selfish cunts that's
all it is you know
and i'm not saying i'm not one uh well you know we got a lot of work to do
everybody we got a lot
of work to do and i think the internet was a bad idea overall it was a bad idea
uh we're probably
too dumb to be talking to one another
i don't you know what i don't have any fucking uh i have no solutions just like
cnn and fox where
they just scare the shit out of you with absolutely no solutions so i actually
i do have a solution what
i try to be is i try to fucking walk out into the world hopefully be in a good
mood and don't drag
anybody down with my own fucking bullshit it's the best that i can do and then
i try to help out
younger people you know i think that that's what older people should be doing
rather than telling
them that their music is no good fuck i did that at the beginning of my podcast
all right i'm a work
in progress okay this this is the podcast everybody and um you know what i've
really learned i've really
learned in life is that fucking since becoming a dad like how my level of
happiness has shifted like
what makes me happy now like it used to be like you know i'm a fucking you know
i'm gonna i'm gonna
fucking sell this amount of tickets and i'm gonna have this fucking kind of car
and this bigger house
shit i have now now that i have kids you know what fucking makes me happy and
excited is if i have a
full box of bisquick and enough syrup in the cupboard i know that that can get
me to 12 noon
and i can get it can get to the first fucking nap and everybody's gonna be
happy all right not saying
i make fucking pancakes and waffles every day but if the kids come downstairs
and they're in a bad mood
and i need to switch the culture in the locker room dude you fucking turn on
the waffle griddle
they they fucking light up they light up you make them the waffles you get them
going you have a
couple of waffles everybody's full of syrup a little sugar rush yeah baby right
then around 10 everybody
needs to take a nap you know everybody fucking chills up telling you it's a
good fucking thing so if you
can take that little waffle philosophy out into your life today then i feel
like this podcast was worth it
sorry um all right that's the podcast everybody i hope my fucking thing didn't
die again okay good it
didn't um that's it stop watching these fucking news channels stop you know you
know i'm not saying
all everything that they say is you know you know what i actually do now is i
bring my i bring my
thermos with water from home out to my show so i've i've used one water bottle
in the last uh like
three months all right that's my little fucking nipping at the heels of global
warming and guess
what it rained out here in la last night which is fucking great it's fantastic
all right i gotta go
make some waffles i'll see you guys later uh go fuck yourselves have a great
couple of days and i'll
check in on you on thursday