Name: Reaching for the Stars - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2021-10-19T14:00:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Reaching for the Stars - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Reaching for the Stars - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-19. Transcript available.

lady listener fucking above your pay grade oh fucking above your pay grade all
right so now i
read this in a different contest this woman is talking about banging somebody i
guess better
than you are um dear bilbo t baggins i'm a lady listener now why would you say
you're a lady
listener that is sexist and offensive to women and i'd like to share a female
female perspective
to help balance out your podcast oh jesus well yeah i've been asking you guys
to write in you know
i mean granted i don't say anything that makes you want to write in other than
tell me to go fuck
myself like that pink lady did by the way this is my favorite podcast so thanks
for your work on it
no problem anyways i often hear men complaining how hard it is to make to make
women like you i think
you missed something here yeah you kind of missed something i often hear men
complain how hard it is
to make women like you what bang them uh because the next sentence is that you
need to trick us
into fucking you i can understand that it's hard to woo a woman uh no you can't
unless you're a
lesbian unless you've actually had to hit on a woman to have sex you have no
fucking idea i had this
conversation with my wife one time she was telling me one time she goes you
know guys just say the
dumbest shit you know to you at a bar and blah blah blah i said all right let's
flip the tables let's
say i was controlling i was in control of my desires and you had to come over
and wow me hit me with an
opening line she had nothing and i was being a cunt to her and she goes she's
just making this
difficult more difficult than it needs to when i said welcome to my world
anyway who is more attractive
okay i can understand that it's hard to woo a woman who is more attractive than
you uh but if you
try to fuck someone as ugly as you are i'm pretty sure they'll say okay um no
that's not how it works
however a few men want to date a woman who is at their level physically and i
respect that preference
but let's flip the script and see if that argument still holds water well i
mean first of all you're
talking about something you don't know anything about which is hitting on women
and actually
hitting on women who are better looking than you is not a hard thing it's a
confidence thing
all right and then the the p.e.d. way of getting a better looking woman is to
make a bunch of fucking
money but that doesn't count i'm talking you're sleeping on a futon you're
going in there you're like
you don't care if she comes stays laser praise you got the fucking attitude
right that shit yeah i know
some legends legends who are probably i mean at best sixes that are absolute
they've been crushing it for
decades because they're confident and they know and they just worked on they
worked on it the way you
work on a fucking jump shot and they are fucking amazing at it so i think a lot
of men they don't want
to put the work in and they can't get past it's like people doing stand-up the
reason a lot of people
want to do it but they never do it because they're so worried about bombing and
the pain of that you
have to push through that until you're bulletproof you don't care you don't
care who gives a fuck you
just move on to the next show um that's what i would say but what do i know i'm
just a sexist guy
so she goes let's flip the script which is fair because that's what i did with
my wife when i made her
hit on me oh she bombed oh she bombed she's like hey how's it going i just
looked at her like
anyway but let's flip the script and see if that argument still holds water i'm
a woman uh do you
think there's any way in hell i can convince a guy who wasn't already 100
physically attracted me
to want to fuck me um i have no idea i'm not a woman let alone date me i have
no idea it's way
harder for women to impress a man with anything other than her looks oh
absolutely absolutely i
mean that's why you guys walk in with half your fucking hoo-ha hanging out so
you get some drinks
um i assume that wasn't a joke you meant that i assume your next point is
probably that i'm i
assume that your next point is that i'm probably ugly why would i say that so
that's why i'm saying
this i wouldn't say that this is listen i'm a dick i'm not fucking mean at
least i don't think i am
i'm not the most beautiful girl in the world but i do get some attention i'm
cute enough to get by
you sound like a keeper to me you know you're not the most beautiful girl so
you know what that means
you probably got a great personality and then you know not everybody's coming
up to you so when
somebody does you appreciate him i mean that's you know you need some hottie jesus
christ they're
walking around like you know i remember going on dates a few times right a few
times when i actually
got a beautiful woman to go on a date with me before i met my wife not saying
my wife isn't beautiful
all right but by then i was in my 30s and i just didn't give a fuck so that's
when i started you
know doing all right but in my 20s a couple of times i went out on dates this
one beautiful woman
in particular and the entire time i was in the restaurant she was just looking
around to see who
was looking at her and i put it all on me going i'm not holding her attention
and blah blah blah blah
and then years later i was just like she couldn't help it you know we were like
21 or something like
that all of a sudden the whole world's paying attention to her that must feel
amazing
what's she gonna do look across the table at me uh so anyway she goes so i'll
put it to you
and your lovely loud mouth wisdom is there anything a woman can do to fuck or
date outside of her lane
i've seen men do it frequently yeah we do we usually do it one of two ways you're
either funny
or you you have a level of success i've seen women do it less often but how i'd
love to get your
perspective and also that of the lovely nia i gotta have the audio it's just
hard you know she has to
watch the kids when i come out here uh it would be even cooler if she agrees
with me on some of these
points well i'm not going to debate any of your points other than like hitting
on women but that other
stuff i don't know what it's like to be a woman um thanks and go fuck yourself
fuck yourself pussy
perspective detective why don't some other women write in about this i would
think um universally
speaking the hardest thing is finding somebody that deserves your love you know
what i mean because i
could give you an easy example of something that will make a guy hang around is
if you cook for him
because no women do that because just even suggesting that is considered sexist
when the reality
is cooking for somebody is one of the nicest sweetest loving things you could
do for them
now if they don't appreciate it they're like where the fuck's my fucking club
sandwich yeah then you
you start feeling like that but like uh i love cooking for my wife i love
cooking for my family
and because it's the way that i show that i care about them so i would think
things like that or uh
i don't know if you're into the same type of shit if you're into sports if you're
into something where
there's an overlap or something like that or if you like funny or something
like that i'm just going
by me you know my wife was fucking hilarious um and she was just into this all
of this stuff
you know she's the one who got me into steely dan i'm fucking in harlem with an
african-american
woman and she's playing me a steely dan album i was just like who is this how
many layers is going
and she just was really interesting so um i don't know yeah so you want to date
a better looking guy
yeah why would you want to date some fucking slob or some bald bastard like me
i would say yeah uh
i also think like if you if you do activities which is hard during this
pandemic you know i mean i
always found like it was way easier if everybody's supposed to be there that
everybody kind of had
their guard down and you could kind of feel the vibe of who somebody was
whereas you go into a bar and
everybody's kind of got their guard up right the guys are on the prowl the
ladies like oh jesus look
at this fucking creep over in the corner with the chest hair right those places
are not good to meet
people but um i gotta be honest with you like i can only give you advice from
the male perspective
so i imagine there's a bunch of women rolling their eyes but i can't tell you
that uh you know
i don't know maybe i'll get nia to come on here at some point like how to do
that um because i
don't know i'm not gonna fucking be a hypocrite here and don't act like i know
what the
fuck you need i don't know i don't know what you can do this but gotta be a
book on it right
that's what i don't understand about incels there's books on how to get women
like why
would you hang out with a bunch of other people who aren't getting pussy it's
like i don't know how
to fix a car neither do i hey let's sit around and talk about it it's the car
we'll never run