Name: R.I.P. Cleo - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2021-10-25T15:14:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'R.I.P. Cleo - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'R.I.P. Cleo - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-25. Transcript available.

Sort of a melancholy day for me, everybody, man.
I got some sad news.
People who follow me on Instagram know
the great Cleo Rene Diego Burr
passed away this week, my beloved pit bull.
Oh, Cleo!
That's always good for my soul to yell.
I used to always yell that.
And I'd hear her come run,
something like a Clydesdale coming to the door.
She was just the best.
But I'm not as sad as I thought I was going to be
because, you know, when I had to...
I'll give you...
If they don't have the back story,
basically, the dog was born in 2008.
It was abandoned.
It was found by the L.A. River.
Shivering and all of that.
This nice woman found her, brought her to work.
My wife agreed to, air quote, foster her,
and they know what that means.
You're going to fall in love with her,
which is what we did.
And, you know, the dog was very complex
had a lot of issues, loved us,
was an absolute teddy bear.
I could do whatever I wanted to it,
but anybody else other than like four or five people
came to the door and she was just super aggressive.
And then it got to the point
where she was trying to bite people.
And ended up finding this trainer, Lynn Boyke,
who had a business out here called Zen for Canines.
And he helped us begin to rehabilitate her,
but we were never able to quite get her there.
And she was a very, very difficult case.
And so then, you know,
she stayed with us and all of that,
right through me getting married and all of that.
And I used to take her on hikes every single day.
And she was just the best.
We absolutely loved her,
but, you know,
we definitely had to put her in a different room
when company came over.
And, but whatever.
She was, you know,
she was like a comedian, you know,
completely fucked up,
but had a great heart.
So I'm trying to keep this light.
So when 2016 came around
and my wife was pregnant
with our wonderful daughter,
we both knew in the back of our heads,
like we just can't risk
how is she going to behave
with the new person when it's a baby.
So we held on as long as we could.
My wife gave birth in January.
And in December,
in November,
end of November,
I looked at her and I was like,
you know,
we're going to have to give her to somebody else.
And she just said,
I know.
So we looked at all these places.
There was like,
you know,
shelters.
I'm like,
I'm not putting her in a shelter.
No one's going to take a 10-year-old pit bull
at that point,
nine-year-old pit bull
with behavioral issues.
She'll get put down.
I don't want to do that.
Then they had a no-kill shelter.
And it was like,
I don't,
she hates being by herself.
I'm not doing that.
So we worked something out
with Lynn
that he would,
he would take her,
but I would still pay to board her
and all of that
for the rest of her life.
So that's essentially what happened.
She was still my dog,
but he had her.
And once a month or so,
he'd bring her over where we were at
and I'd still take her for a walk
and all that.
And so I still got to see her
and everything.
And then eventually Lynn,
who's now based in Arizona,
they went out to Arizona,
but he would still come back
for business out here.
And I still got to see her
like once every six weeks.
So,
but he would always send me videos.
And because she was now
with a master,
Lynn Boyke,
who's absolutely incredible,
L-I-N-N,
I think it's B-O-Y-K-E.
You should look this guy up
if you have any issues with your dog.
This guy is incredible.
And he,
I remember the first time
we dropped her off,
the dog was trying to kill him
and I handed the leash to him
and I did it in the wrong way
and he's wearing these baggy pants
and the dog bit down on his pants
and we were standing there
trying to help him.
He's going,
get out of here,
get out of here,
just leave,
leave,
leave,
leave.
I'm like,
really?
He goes,
get out of here.
So we got in the car
and we left
and because he understood
with dogs that like
once he,
the dog was protecting us
and then once we left,
the dog's like,
all right,
now what the fuck am I doing?
It's kind of stopped.
So we have many of those stories,
but anyway,
you know,
Lynn would try to teach us
as much as he could,
but at the end of the day,
we weren't him
and we didn't have
his skill set.
So anyway,
he would come back
from Arizona
and I remember,
you know,
I always had guilt
because I always thought,
well,
what if she actually got along
with our daughter?
Because,
you know,
I cried like a baby
when I had to give her away
and I remember,
so I brought her over,
you know,
I had her on the leash
and I made sure,
you know,
there was no way
she was going to get away
or anything like that.
Obviously,
I had her on the leash
and had her collar,
you know,
leashing one hand
of the collar,
right?
So I let her fixate
that my baby
was up on the bed
where she used to sleep
and she looked over
and her ears went up
and rather than kind of like,
you know,
nudging her head
in a different direction,
so I let her fixate
and she looked at my daughter
and she went
and growled
and I was like,
all right.
And Nia was in the bathroom,
she goes,
did she just growl
at our baby?
And I go,
yeah.
And she goes,
all right.
I never felt bad
about it again.
But when she was out
in Arizona,
she lived with other dogs
and became friends
with another dog,
which was just unheard of
and they would be like,
Lynn would send me pictures
where she would be spooning
with another dog.
I was so happy.
Most of the videos
he sent
was her in the backyard,
like scratching her back,
like, you know,
rolling in the grass.
It was funny.
She kind of went out
to Arizona
for her golden years,
like a retired
conservative.
and she lived out there
and I still got to see her
like every six weeks
and I always,
whenever she was in town,
he would leave her
at the vet
and I would drive down
and I'd take her
for a walk
every single day
and I would always
sit with her
and I'd pet her
and I'd talk to her
and everything
and I'm so thankful
that there was a guy
like Lynn
in our lives
that was able
to really make,
she was a miracle, man,
that dog with that,
that breed
with those kinds of issues
lived a whole life,
13 years.
So it was a success story
and I remember
when I took her on
that I told her
when she was a year older,
like,
I'm not going to let
anything happen to you,
buddy.
So I feel like
I kept my promise
and yeah,
so that's it.
The only thing
that sucks about a dog
is that someday
they're going to die,
right?
Somebody sent me a quote
or something like that.
So there you go.
There's that.
There is that.
So rest in peace.
Oh, Cleo!
I still do that.
I still,
every once in a while,
I'll do that.
If I drive by
some of the old places
where I live with her,
it always makes me feel good
to yell her name
out the window.
I used to,
when I would pull in
when me and Nia
had our first apartment
and she'd have the windows open.
We didn't have any AC
but we'd get a nice breeze
a little bit
so it wasn't too bad.
Actually,
it was pretty bad
in July and August.
I'm not going to lie to you
but she'd have the windows
open with the screen
and as I would pull in,
I had the Prius back then
so it was quiet
and I could pull in
and I would just yell out,
oh, Cleo!
And I'd hear like
her dog collar move
and another move.
We had a little garage
in the back.
I have video of it
on one of my computers.
I got to find the thing.
One of my computers
that's like as thick
as a fucking laptop.
I would have her sit
all the way at the top
of the stairs
and I'd walk down.
We lived up on the second floor
and it was like,
you know,
the crisscross stairs
going down the back
all the way up to the driveway
and I'd open up the hatchback
and I'd go,
oh, what do I do?
I think I would go,
I'd just go like that
and then she would just come
bounding down the stairs.
Sounded like she was falling.
You know,
dogs aren't as graceful as cats
and then she'd come
tearing around the corner.
I loved watching her run.
It was like a thoroughbred.
All those muscles
and her just galloping
and she would leap,
I swear to God,
like eight feet
from the back of the car.
I can't believe
the Prius took it
and would just like land
and stop on a dime,
spin around,
sit on her butt
and be wagging her tail,
you know,
panting and all that.
I go,
all right, buddy,
let's go.
And I'd take it.
It was awesome.
And it was something funny too
about riding around
with a blue-nosed pit bull
and a Prius.
It's like,
what is going on in that car?
A lot of messages.
So,
yeah,
rest in peace, buddy.
There'll never be
another one like you.
You were a crazy dog
and I loved her.
Loved her to death.
So,
rest in peace.
So,
all right,
let's get on
to something
a little less sad.