Name: My Man Is Stunning but I’m Average - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2021-10-28T14:31:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'My Man Is Stunning but I’m Average - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'My Man Is Stunning but I’m Average - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-28. Transcript available.

Response to last week's who wants hot, told to the girl who wants a hot
boyfriend.
Oh, here we go. Here we go. Billy Nutsack Brains.
You had a lady listener write in about being a six or something around that
and wanting to be with a guy that's a 10.
Being a lady listener and rate my looks as a four.
Hey, welcome to my world.
While my younger, hotter husband is a nine, I felt the need to write in.
Girl, it's no different for us as it is for men who date hotter partners.
It's easier. It's either you are a sugar mama or got confidence through the
roof.
Guys are not going to run after you like they do the nines or tens.
But if you play the long game like the funny, ugly guys do, you will bag a 10.
What do I mean by this?
Don't act so thirsty for attention when you are out with your much hotter
looking girlfriends.
Be the comic relief and not in a self-deprecating way.
Do it in a I'm smarter and wiser than everyone.
Look at this.
Yeah, like I'd make a great mother.
These whores will fucking blow you in the parking lot.
That's all they're good for.
Why are they whores?
Because they're better looking?
Because you're jealous, Bill?
Okay, maybe.
Guys are just as attracted to confidence as women are.
It just doesn't happen right away because they are slow and take a while to see
it.
You know, just when I thought you were going to compliment men.
No, it's because we're fucking visually wired that way.
All right?
And yeah, we get taken to the cleaners because of that.
Lastly, get your own damn interests and focus on you.
As women, we get told all kinds of fucked up shit like you'll never get a
husband acting like that.
Exactly.
Or this will make men like you if you stay skinny or dress this way or whatever.
Fuck everyone and do you and you will get your 10.
Right there.
Exactly.
This is what I'm waiting for every fucking feminist out there to do.
To stop fucking blaming guys.
Like that's all empowering shit.
That's like I, that's what you just said for women out there is what I fucking
tell young comics.
Stop trying to write your fucking acts so the industry notices you.
Go out and do what the fuck you want to do.
Go find your audience and let these cunts come to you.
This is, I'm reading this shit.
You're talking to women and I'm feeling uplifting.
I'm going to go smoke a cigar.
Now, if all that fails, make a shit ton of money and men will want to be your
trophy husband.
You don't want that.
Go fuck yourself, chubby girl with a hot younger husband.
Well, there you go.
All right.
Oh, Jesus.
Speaking of cigar smoking, cigar smoking to pipe smoking.
I got to go back to what this woman just wrote.
I'm telling you.
All right.
Men and women can learn a lot from what she just said there.
That is the secret to success.
All right.
Stop fucking thinking about what other.
You go out and do what the fuck you want to do.
You're not hurting anybody.
Do what the fuck you want to do.
Believe in yourself.
All right.
Stop walking around trying to find another fucking parent.
You know, looking for everybody's goddamn approval.
Just fucking relax.
Figure it out.
Baby steps each day.
The next thing you know, you're up the fucking mountain.