Name: My Son Has Nia’s Brain - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2021-11-04T14:18:47.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'My Son Has Nia’s Brain - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'My Son Has Nia’s Brain - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-04. Transcript available.

So anyway, my son has figured out how to get out of the sleep sack, unzip the
thing, right?
So the other day I came in and he didn't have it on, he had the biggest grin on
his face.
He was so proud of himself and he was expecting me to give him the accolades,
like he did
this great thing.
And he was so proud of himself, as much as I was like, oh no, he figured out
how to get
out of that thing.
I had to be like, yeah, buddy, you did it.
You figured out how to, that's great.
You know, what am I going to do?
It's better than the alternative, him just sitting there like, I can't figure
it out.
You're like, oh no, he got my brain.
I was hoping he was going to get my wife's brain.
So fortunately got my wife's brain and he figured it out, right?
So my wife was away this weekend at a wedding and so I had the kids and of
course, you know,
people are fighting off colds and stuff.
And so my son would get upset at night.
So I would go in there.
So I went in there and, you know, I brought in a bottle and I change him and
his pajama
bottoms, you know, they were a little wet or whatever.
So I didn't, and I wasn't going to rummage around trying to find some new,
cause I'm in
the dark, you know, when you get them up, you don't want to like talk to them
and wake
them up.
You're just sort of like comforting them, you know, and then you're just doing
it and
then you give them the bottle, put the sleep sack on and then you're done,
right?
So I do the whole thing.
I just put a diaper on it, then put pajama bottoms on, right?
So he goes to sleep.
It works like a charm.
I get a great night's sleep.
And then I wake up, I hear him making noise.
So I go down the hall to go in there and I go walking in there.
And not only has he taken off the sleep sack, he also removed his diaper.
So he's sitting there butt ass naked from the waist down, same look on his face,
like,
huh?
I did it.
Huh?
So I start cracking up.
And then I'm like, oh God, please tell me he didn't make, he didn't pee the bed.
Please tell me.
Thank God he didn't.
And I was just cracking up.
That was one of the best laughs I've had in a while, the look of like
accomplishment on
his face.
And then looking at you like, hey, huh?
I did it.
So, um, I got to tell you, man, we had an awesome weekend.
Everybody obviously missed mom being around, but, um, we had a fucking great
time.
Nice and chill.
It was just like, uh, what do you guys want for breakfast?
You know?
You know, I want this, I want that.
I go, you know what?
I want to make some French toast.
My daughter's like, I don't want French toast.
French toast is yucky.
I go, you never had it.
So he goes, no, you know, collapses onto the floor.
They always have those James Brown moments, you know, where you, you feel like
you got
to run over and put a cape around them.
Uh, what was that song?
Please, please, please.
When he would sing that.
Yeah.
Your kids do that.
They just, just immediately.
Jack, can I have a popsicle?
Uh, not yet, buddy.
You got to finish up your broccoli.
Oh, they just fucking, fucking like a building imploding.
So, um, yeah, I found this quick little recipe and I made this French toast and,
uh, I got
to tell you something.
Total silence in the kitchen when they were eating.
That's when you know you crushed it as a cook.
All you hear is just fucking people chowing down.
And I fed some to my son.
He'd never had French toast before and he ate it and looked at me and did like
this big,
you know, big cheesy smile.
I'm like, all right, this is perfect.
This is perfect.
Then we watched a little bit of Bluey.
I went outside, you know, I threw some pictures to my daughter.
She was crushing it.
The lefty.
Trying to hit it over the wall.
Just really had a great weekend, man.
Um, having said that, psyched my wife is back so I can, uh, you know, share
some of the
duty here.
But it was a great, great, great time.