Name: I Know What Really Happened - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2021-11-24T14:00:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'I Know What Really Happened - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'I Know What Really Happened - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-24. Transcript available.

Wait, November 22nd? Isn't that the JFK day? Isn't that the infamous day? How
many years
ago was it? 1963? It was almost 58 years ago. 58 years ago. Who do you think
did it? You
know what? I figured it out. I figured it out. You know why? Because I have the
internet.
And when you have the internet, okay, and limited intelligence, you can figure
out all
of the world's mysteries just by Googling. Just Googling things like, who
really shot
JFK? See, and that's the problem with the authorities. You know what? They're
too smart to just ask
the simple questions. Like, let's find out right here. Well, you know what? In
honor of
the 58th anniversary of the assassination of JFK. I'm going to finally debunk,
you know,
the Oswald thing. Who really killed JFK? Okay, here we go. Free stock footage.
All right,
I got stock footage. 347 result. They got JFK conspiracies. I don't want all of
this shit.
I just want an answer. I want why people think this photo of JFK's killer is
fake. JFK Kennedy's
assassination conspiracy theories. All right, that's Wikipedia. Okay, here we
go. Who really
killed JFK? All right, that's a book. Oh, you motherfucker. You turned it into
a money. I can't
just, I have to read. I don't want to read. I just want to annoy people at the
bar. Go
out there and say, ah, you know what? It was the fucking guy who eventually
created Target.
Yeah, he wanted to open a location and he didn't want to do it. Oh my God. You
know what? Fuck
all of this. All right, hats off to JFK conspiracy theorists if you can fucking
weave your way through
all of that. You want to hear my theory? I think, I think that that fucking, uh,
Lee Harvey
Oswald was a part of it. That's all I know. Cause when he walked out, so I'm
the patsy. That's
for me, that's it right there. Oh, so I'm the patsy. Just the way he delivered
the line.
I'd like some legal representation. These police officers have not allowed me
to, to have any.
I, uh, I don't know what this is all about. You're the president. No, it's all
I do. People keep asking me
that. Sir? Did you shoot the president? I work in that building. Were you in
the building for time?
Naturally, if I work in that building, yes, sir. Back up, man. Come on, man. No,
they're taking me in
because of the fact that I live in the zone. I'm just a patsy. President. It
was kind of like OJ when
they arrested OJ. He didn't look like a guy who just found out his ex-wife got
murdered and he was
being charged. That was not the look. He had like, God damn it. Oh, I had a
rough one last night.
You know? Oh, that, that, that fucking jerk off there. The kid from Illinois
that decided to drive up
into the fucking riot. That, that, that fucking crying he was allegedly, that
was the, that is the
worst fake crying I have seen since Miss New York. Remember that? What the fuck
was that flavor of
love? And that girl called her out going like, oh my God, you're amazing. I've
never seen somebody
cry without any tears before. And she goes, that's cause that, uh, that's cause
it's an inner cry,
bitch. Are you okay? No, hold on. No, no, no. I've never seen someone cry with
the tears not coming
out. So I just want to make sure. He was having an inner cry. Um, he had a
right to be there.
It was open carry. He felt threatened. It was the fucking perfect murder.
That might be enough to convince some people, you know, if the picture where he's
wearing a shirt,
it says free as fuck. And he's doing that stupid white supremacist thing. What?
Oh, he's saying A-OK.
I'm happy to be free. Uh, you know, not picking sides there, people. I'm just
saying, you know what I
mean? The same way you're looking at OJ being like, uh, you know, that guy did
that shit, you know,
that nigga did that shit. I can feel like murder in the room.
But whatever people get all wrapped up in the other crap, you know? So, uh, you
might be right. Hey,
maybe, maybe, maybe, you know, maybe what he said was what happened. I'm just
saying, you know,
that's just my opinion. My opinion was the fucking shoulders going. Oh,
the whole thing was horrible. Uh, it looked like student film crying. Um,
anyways, plowing ahead.
I had a great day yesterday. Enjoy it. My freedom.