Name: Being a Light Sleeper and Fighting in My Underwear - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2021-11-28T14:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Being a Light Sleeper and Fighting in My Underwear - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Being a Light Sleeper and Fighting in My Underwear - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-28. Transcript available.

what the fuck was that noise i swear to god everybody on my fucking block is
redoing their
goddamn house it's unbelievable it's unbelievable if i'm not hearing the sound
of a fucking leaf
blower somebody's got a jackhammer i'm going nuts you know i'm a comedian i try
to take my
old man nap during the day i got young kids right my son goes down for his nap
my daughter you know
she's at school i fucking i try to take a nap i just you know i'm a light sleeper
i'm not a relaxed
guy i don't know if you guys know that i was always envious of those people
they could just
fucking sleep in a train station like you ever see somebody and you're like is
that person
homeless or are they one of those people that could just sleep anywhere you
know you know those
people you get on a plane and before people even done boarding they're already
asleep you know like
a dog you know dogs do that the second then i don't have to chase anything they're
not worried
about intruders they're just their eyes get heavy and their body just shuts
down and they go to sleep
and i never understood that still i started getting acting work and they'd be
like all right you have
a little break just go back to your trailer for a second you'd be like all
right and you'd sit in
your trailer and for like three minutes and all of a sudden you're like oh my i
could sleep for
fucking eight hours right now i think your body just that goes back to like
caveman days
where like at any second you know some predator could just come into the cave
and you had to run
for your fucking life so if the coast was clear your body's like all right well
if we're not going to
be there's no reason for us to up like a laptop we're going to power down now
and save the battery life
because god forbid god forbid um i was always amazed at people that could do
shit like that
um i never could do that shit i'm a fucking i'm a light sleeper you know
anything happens i fuck it
my eyes open up and then i'm walking downstairs with that my little mini
fucking whatever i you know
golf club a fucking bat whatever i have underneath there
whatever blood object i can fucking find you know oh god is there anything
worse than having a fight
in your underwear never had it done i've never had to do that but i would just
think that that's you
just got to feel so exposed that's another reason why the fucking ufc and
professional fighters are so
tough is they fight in their underwear you know just walking i mean the boxes
don't they come in with
their shorts on you know those hooker boots right but like the fucking ufc
people they come in there
like barefoot they literally look like you know what's amazing if you ever
broke into a fucking ufc
fighter's fucking house at night
i mean they're just ready to go i mean not only do they have the training
they're dressed the same way they do when they go into the fucking octagon i
mean just
how fucked you are um man they must sleep great provided they didn't have a
fight that night you
know what i mean or that week or whatever however long it takes them to recover
you know if you got a black belt in something you know but then again you are
going to sleep
if you do combat all the time there's people always attacking you maybe you
become nervous to sleep i
don't know how it works i don't i don't know if you know this about you uh
about me guys i was never
in the professional fight game i know that surprises you i know that's
something where you're kind of
like well hey bill you know the way you uh you know describe fat people at
airports i would have
thought you had some sort of uh martial arts background well surprisingly not
you know
you know i'm full of surprise people it's not the case