Name: Lewis Hamilton Is a Diva - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2021-11-29T14:00:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Lewis Hamilton Is a Diva - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Lewis Hamilton Is a Diva - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-29. Transcript available.

No, it's just, it's a very interesting thing.
How some people get treated versus how other people get treated.
Like, let's talk about Formula One here.
We're actually watched the race because everybody's like,
Bill, you got to come back to F1.
You got to come back to F1.
Max Verstappen is competitive.
He's ahead in the points.
So I sit down and watch the race yesterday.
And Verstappen takes the lead into the first turn.
Lewis Hamilton is in second place.
The most exciting possible situation in Formula One.
Max Verstappen, first place after the first turn.
Lewis Hamilton in second place.
Because now you're going to get to see some racing.
Okay?
But, you know, Max, I think wire to wire.
I watched three-quarter of the race before I had to go to a kid birthday party.
So I'm watching the highlights.
Because I had to watch the highlights to see the end of the race.
I thought I taped it and I didn't.
They're screaming about Max Verstappen going to win the race.
But they're also screaming about Lewis Hamilton.
Because it's not a race unless you're talking about the fucking diva.
Right?
And Lewis Hamilton's getting new tires.
He's going for the fastest lap.
The fucking announcer's like,
And Max Verstappen wins.
25 points to leader F1.
And Lewis Hamilton also gets the fastest lap.
What would they be doing if they weren't blowing that guy?
Even if he doesn't win.
He got an extra point.
It's just fun.
I remember, like,
It's my number one fucking problem.
I have the same problem I have with F1 I have with the fucking NBA.
It's just like,
I don't know.
Somebody wins,
They're the fucking winner.
Talk about them.
It's like a long time ago when the Red Sox fucking won a World Series.
ESPN.
Red Sox win the World Series.
The whole fucking thing.
And then they go,
Reaction in the Bronx.
Like,
Why do we have to sit here and listen to their fuck?
They didn't win.
They're not champions.
Why are you talking about them?
Why are you talking about Lewis Hamilton?
He didn't fucking win.
He is not the leader right now.
Drives me up the fucking wall.
I remember a couple years ago when I was starting to be like,
You know what?
Fuck Formula One.
I'm not watching this shit anymore.
This is a Lewis Hamilton reality show.
I remember he had a shitty qualifying.
Something happened to his car.
And God forbid he was in like third or fourth position.
And he pulls into the garage.
And he just sat in his car with his head down with his helmet on.
And they just sat there talking about how upset he was.
They were like,
Oh,
Oh,
You know,
Fucking whoever.
Whoever the fuck got the,
You know,
Daniel Ricciardo gets the pole.
But look how upset Lewis.
He's devastated.
Oh my God.
His heart breaks.
He just wants to win.
It's like,
Dude,
He drives for Mercedes.
I'm not saying he's not the best driver.
Okay.
But there's a bunch of drivers that would be beating his ass every fucking week
if he didn't drive for fucking Mercedes and had a different fucking car.
All right.
Max Verstappen won the race.
Shut the fuck up about this fucking jerk off who gets one goddamn point.
And I shouldn't even be upset with him because he's not the one doing it.
So my apology to Lewis Hamilton.
I shouldn't have said that.
The fucking jerk off who was saying that is the jerk off.
But I guess they added that to make it like an exciting thing.
It's sort of like the three pointer.
It's like the technical foul shot of Formula One where you get an extra point.
That could add up.
That could pay dividends.
I can't believe it.
The best driver who drives for the team with the most money and the best
equipment just had the fastest lap.
That's just as exciting as the person with a lesser team with lesser equipment
that actually beat this diva cunt.
Equal level of excitement.
That's what's wrong with sports.
The bottom line is they know that Lewis Hamilton puts asses in the seats and he
is their fucking show pony right now.
So no matter what happens, win or lose, you know, that was like back in the day
when the Red Sox were fucking going,
all right, so I guess you got to spend 200 million dollars and buy up the
league to win it.
To stop the A5, we'll do it again.
Then we fucking do it.
And they're like, reaction in the Bronx.
Sorry, Boston.
New York's just a bigger TV market.
We have to keep this Hatfield and McCoy thing.
Let me guess, were they not happy in the Bronx?
I mean, the only story there would be actually be if they were kind of like,
okay with it slash happy.
That would actually maybe be an interesting story.
But if they're not happy with it and they're now going to try to do things to
their team to try and beat us the next year is kind of exactly what you'd think
they would be doing.
Fucking out of breath after that one.
I also watched, I got caught up here.
You know, I haven't been watching a lot of racing because I've been too busy
eating.
All right.
So anyway, I watched Mark Marquez win his first race since he came back from
the broken humorous.
He's another guy.
It's funny.
I actually root against him just because, you know, I'm not going to just take
up a new sport and root for Lewis Hamilton.
The guy's the best driver there is.
So, you know, I'm going to jump on the bandwagon like a fucking free agent.
I'm not doing that.
So I got to root against these guys.
So I root against Mark Marquez, but not in like a, you know, but MotoGP is fun
because there's actually like passing and that type of stuff.
And it's been like real competitive.
You know, I got a few races behind.
So I am excited for that.
Now I feel bad.
I probably went too fucking hard on the announcers on F1.
But it's just like, can you give Max Verstappen his fucking deal?
Jesus Christ.
He just got 25 points.
You're screaming just as loud for a guy who got one extra point that drives for
the team that has the most fucking money.
Oh, gee, he just got a new set of tires.
Really?
Did he, you know, on a Mercedes?
Did he get the fastest lap?
Holy shit.
Who would have thunk it?
F1.
All right.
All right.
Billy runs with fire in his pants.
I don't know what that means.
I have a simple message.
Watch F1, you cunt.
I know you enjoy motorsports and get really excited whenever you mention F1.
But you haven't talked about the recent F1 races, which spoilers have been
incredible.
France happened this weekend, and that was an incredibly satisfying race.
Baku happened two weeks ago, and that was probably one of the best races of
this decade.
An instant classic.
Fuck, I missed.
I can go back and watch them on their website.
Get this.
Due to new regulations, Red Bull is leading the Constructors' Championship, and
Max Verstappen
is leading the Drivers' Championship with Lewis Hamilton close behind.
This is the season we've been waiting for.
Yes, it is.
Shut the fuck up about hockey and watch this shit for $10 a month.
Well, the thing about hockey is every season is the fucking season you're
waiting for.
It's hockey.
It's fucking great.
Maybe F1 should run their fucking business a little more like the NHL does.
Anyways, for $10 a month on F1 TV Pro, this is not an ad.
I tried to get into MotoGP, but that subscription is $40 a month.
Not worth it, but F1 is.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I draw the line there.
I draw the fucking line there.
Dude, all of that shit that you're talking about, the best race,
I'll watch that race, and I guarantee you there was three races last year.
Dude, the Marquez versus Andres Divizioso battles.
There's been like three or four of those races where they passed each other
three to four times on the final fucking lap.
And that happened like two or three times a fucking season.
Okay?
So I don't want to hear like, oh, my God,
we finally had a fucking exciting fucking race,
and now this is better than MotoGP.
If you want to see passing and racing,
which to me is people jockeying for position,
passing, you know, the whole fucking thing,
then I would say MotoGP is where it's at.
It's still where it's at.
And unlike you, I watch both of them.
I don't watch one race.
Fuck that, it's too much fucking money.
Yeah, you pay your little $10 for the inferior fucking racing sport.
I'll stick with MotoGP.
Anyway, the next two weeks have races in Austria.
Tune your fathead in and watch Mercedes struggle.
I mean, I might as well because, you know, at some point,
they're just going to throw money at the fucking problem somehow.
And they'll be right back, you know, where they usually are.
Look at this guy.
This guy's so beaten down as a fan of F1 that he's excited that in June,
Mercedes and Lewis Hamilton aren't in first place.
I don't know.
Hey, by the way, is it me or does Sebastian Vettel lose his fucking,
whatever the front airfoil is, every other race?
He lost one of his front wings.
He's got damage.
He has to go into the pits.
Oh, it's a disaster.