Name: I Miss B00zing - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2021-12-08T14:15:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'I Miss B00zing - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-12-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'I Miss B00zing - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-12-08. Transcript available.

this is the time of year though i will tell you that i miss booze the most
it's the end of the year my work is winding down and i know it's just going to
start back
up again in january and this is when i would go out and get fucked up um oh
yeah i'd be taking
bottles down to the mat and they would be tapping out but before they tapped
out i would be passed
out in my fucking archie bunker chair and i enjoyed every goddamn second of it
anybody go to aa
meetings i would be the worst speaker ever i'd be like hey i'm bill uh i'm not
really an alcoholic
but you know figured i'd come down here listen to you guys
it's pretty wild stories up here man i gotta be honest with you though don't
you miss it
wouldn't you just and what if we all just went out just today we all just went
out and just got
fucking hammered just today and then we all fucking agreed you know all of us
right this is what we do
we all chain ourselves to the wall we throw the key across the floor we got a
bottle of bourbon
and everybody gets to finish their bottle and we just lay here and people bring
us food for the next
like month or so where we you know we lose the dts you know
that'd be an interesting thing huh
okay here's a fucking scenario for you
okay if the people in power whoever they are man
whoever's really behind the they
if they had all the heroin
okay and they said
you know
we're only gonna make it available to you once a year
and you're not gonna overdose
would you do it
you know
you'd have that option
oh you know
i think i'm gonna take this year off
i feel like it's a better high
if i do it every other year
just like once
um
yeah
that's the thing about being a fucking adult
is you gotta be able
you have to have the discipline
to push yourself away from the shit that takes you down
it's fucking brutal
you know that euphoria
any college kids out there
when you fucking
your parents dropped you off
and you got over your homesickness and shit
then all of a sudden everything was kind of on you
you know
i guess i would compare it maybe to like
when college is over
you know
you have these fucking assholes
you know
where they're actually like watching you to that level
or maybe you get like an off-campus apartment
or some shit like that
i still remember that
i was old
i was like 27
you know
i finally got through college and all of that shit
and i fucking
started doing stand-up
so i was living at home
trying to save up money
so i could go to new york
so 20 fucking seven
i finally moved out
i remember sitting there
at the bar
at the comic strip
one of my first nights in new york
and i remember just sitting there thinking like
well i really don't have to go home
i don't have to fucking answer to anybody
i could go out and get shit-faced right now
could beat some chick
hook up
bring her back
fucking amazing
this is unreal
like fortunately back then though
but i wasn't really like a big boozer
because everyone i was hanging out with
like
my generation of comics
saw
like
what partying did to your career
you know
so we saw
those guys
that were in aa
you know
guys having their fucking wages
garnished by the irs
they'd have to fucking
if they were going to vegas
they'd have to call the irs
to make sure it was okay
for them to do the gig
and uh
we were all like
well yeah
hey
let's not do that
um
because i gotta tell you
if i started in the 80s
and i am old enough
to start
to start
to have started in the 80s
if i started in like
uh
i don't know
88 when i was like 20
87
you know
and i fell in with the wrong group of people
i would have fucking drank my ass off
i would have got to where i ended up
way fucking sooner
um
yeah if i ever even got out of boston
but um
anyway
that is one of the great things
about having kids
aside from having kids
is one of the great things
is you're just like
well
i'd really love to do this dumb shit
but they're gonna be up
in about fucking
six hours
so i should go to bed now
you know
it's a great excuse
to get out of something
hey we got an eight ball
you know what
i'd love to
but i got the kids
gotta get out of here
i got the kids
hey we're all thinking of going rafting
you know i'd love to
but my
my kids
i got kids
some fucking awful band
you don't want to see
uh
what night is that
you know what
i think my kid has something
that night
fuck
yeah i yeah i know
next time
yeah
next time
all right buddy
look good
like the car
is that no
small talk
fucking small talk
get yourself
right out of it
that's how you do it