Name: Jokes From China - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2021-12-14T14:15:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jokes From China - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-12-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jokes From China - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-12-14. Transcript available.

All right, jokes from China. Okay, let's do a little backstory here. I love
when people write in from other countries. All right? I do. And this is the
thing, even though that I know I'm better than you because I'm an American, I
still like to hear from you because it gives me an opportunity to pretend that
I'm like empathetic. No, I'm kidding.
I got some, you know, I've got some letters from mainland China, which just
blows me away because over here in the United States, old America here, Thomas
Jefferson and all them powdered wigs, sons of bitches. They make it seem like
you guys can't listen to anything from over here with your censored internet,
which I have to be honest with you. I don't think it's such a bad idea. You
know, I remember before I was thinking, wow, it's fucked up. They don't let
them talk to each other.
And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But if you see how batshit crazy some
people are going over here, going on the internet, meeting and talking to other
batshit crazy people on the fucking internet.
You know, out of all the mistakes I've made, I got to tell you something. One
of the best things I ever did is I never really talked to anybody on the
internet. I mean, I'll send out a tweet. That's the closest I come to talking
to anybody.
You know, but like, I've never got gone into a chat room and been like, hey,
they're fucko 1976, uh, hashtag, you know, whatever, you know, where you live
in and like get to know somebody. That's just fucking weird.
Um, anyway, so I was just, whatever. I got some, uh, emails from China. So I
was like, you know, if anybody out there in China is listening, I'd love to
hear from you.
I was talking about all the fucked up things, all the fucked up jokes that we've
had about people from China and, uh, and, uh, stuff that we've done in movies
and TV, just, you know, offensive shit.
So I was like, you can't tell me you guys don't have jokes about Americans. Let
me hear some of your jokes from China, making fun of somebody like me, uh, over
here in America.
So here we go. Jokes from China. Hello, Billy fat tits, long time listener,
first time mailer. Just heard your podcast, uh, that asking some jokes about
America from China.
My name is Han solo. My name is Han and I'm Chinese and I have some jokes about
it. So here we go. When I was in New York, I lived in the most dangerous and
dirty place in Manhattan.
It was called, it's called Chinatown. I found it. Uh, I found it. Um, I found
Americans are very lazy at naming things. Okay.
Like Chinese live together. They call it Chinatown. Korea goes together. It's
called Koreatown. White people go together. It's called brunch. Oh, Jesus.
That's doing jokes here. It's very lazy. That kind of thing will never happen.
If Americans come to Asia,
dude, this guy's literally doing standup. Hey, I'll tell you when I was in New
York,
I lived in the most dangerous and dirty place. It was called Chinatown. Okay.
Oh, I'll tell you it was rough. It was rough down in Chinatown. I found
Americans very lazy at naming things.
Bunch of Chinese get together. They call it Chinatown. Koreans go to come
together. They call it Koreatown.
White people come together. It's called brunch. Oh, I'll tell you. That's a
beaut. Um, that kind of thing will never happen.
Oh, this is this Yakov Smirinov.
In America, you call it brunch. In Russia, it's called the rotty eggs.
Um, that kind of thing will never happen if Americans come to Asia.
If a group of Americans go to Japan and live in Japan, the Japanese wouldn't
call it American town.
They just call it a military base.
Those are some good jokes.
That's it. Hope you enjoy it.
And love from Shanghai, China.
Best wishes.
Hand Q.
How about a round of applause for Hand Q writing some respectable standup
comedy in a second language.
Hats off to you.
That was fucking, that's some good shit.
Feel like Johnny Carson.
That's good stuff.
That's good stuff.
I love it.
All right.
Hand Q has set the bar, Asia.
Come on.
What is that?
90 billion of you over there?
You can't tell me.
I want to hear from the Dave Attells and Louis CKs and Dave Chappelle's of
China.
I want to hear you.
I want to start roasting America.
I want to, I want to start doing some fucking jokes here.
All right.
Um, all right.
Oh God.
And just when we had hope, just when we were starting to feel better, just when
we got
some of the great standup comedy, greatest standup comedy ever heard from
mainland China
by the great.
Keep it going one more time for Han Q, everybody.
Dude, I swear to God, if I ever do standup in Shanghai, if you want to come on
in front
of me and do five minutes, all right, you got the gig.
All right, buddy.
All right.
Just don't get yourself arrested.
All right.
Hey, I did stand up in mainland China.
Oh, that was a rough one.
The opening act did a joke.
They ran him over with a tank.
Okay.