Name: Congress Members Making Millions - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2022-01-19T14:30:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Congress Members Making Millions - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Congress Members Making Millions - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-19. Transcript available.

Congress members, unsurprisingly, are surprisingly good at picking stocks, and
they had un in parentheses.
Hey, yo, Billy Banker, you're always talking about the corruption of both the
blue ties and the red ties,
so I thought you'd find this article interesting.
It analyzes the 2021 stock market trades of members of Congress, and surprise,
surprise, they do pretty well.
In fact, in 2021, they beat the market.
If you really want to get heated, you can read the full article.
Oh, Jesus.
I mean, well, yeah, well, they're grossly underpaid.
They're grossly underpaid, so they're susceptible to corruption, bribery, and
all of that.
That's fucking hilarious.
It's just so fucking...
Yeah, and everybody there is like a fucking millionaire.
What do you make as a congressman?
It's like, what, $125, $150 a year?
Is that what they make?
The president makes, or like $200, $250 or something?
Yeah, they're not going to sit around taking all that shit, you know, and once
every...
I don't know how long, you know, a bunch of people from a Dave & Buster's are
going to storm through there and kill some people on January 6th without making
a little money.
All right, here are just a few interesting facts from the report.
Hundreds of millions of dollars have been exchanged in the stock market by our
elected officials in 2021 alone.
In just equities, Congress bought and sold nearly $290 million throughout the
year.
These are people that make $250,000 a year?
Hang on a second.
All right.
How much do senators make a year?
Senators in the House of Representatives make $174,000 a year.
And collectively, they sold nearly $290 million in stocks last year.
They've been doing that forever.
He did really well.
She did really well in the private sector.
Oh, did she?
In 2021, the Congress beat the market.
This report shows which sectors were preferred by each party and branch.
Oftentimes, huge trades amount could be attributed to one or two members.
Big legislative...
So they're not all corrupt.
There's a couple of people.
Oh, God.
Big legislative events such as the infrastructure bill getting passed by the
Senate were often preceded by politicians trading in the sectors affected.
I mean, that's not insider trading.
There were tons of...
They probably just give stock tips to the fucking cunts on Wall Street.
I don't know.
Who police it and they just let them get away with it.
There were tons of unusual trades where politicians made millions of dollars.
Yeah.
And they won't get any fucking shit for it.
And that is why that they just...
I don't know.
Once again, like I said, they go after...
Yeah.
Like, they go after comedians and shit.
What we need to do is we need to get on the inside of the stock market or
something.
Be able to make some of these cunts some money.
And then they'll stop fucking with us, I guess.
Although I kind of feel like they have.
Doesn't it feel like it's kind of over?
All of that cancel culture shit.
I just feel like it's just...
It kind of just died.
You know?
People who didn't really deserve to get canceled are back.
You know?
People who should have been, you know...
Have a time out or whatever are allowed to kind of put their lives back
together.
Which always made sense to me.
You know?
Every day there's people who get paroled out of prison who did way worse than
most of the people that got in trouble.
Not saying all, but most of them.
So if they can try to put their fucking lives back together.
You know?
I mean, you know, why can't other people?
I don't get it.
I don't give a fuck.
Why do I comment on these things?
I have no idea.
I can tell you right now.
I am so fucking dehydrated right now.
You know?
I keep doing the goddamn elliptical.
Can you hear all this fucking noise that I'm hearing?
I'm doing these wires here.
I keep doing the fucking elliptical like every goddamn day.
I've been doing yoga.
I've been doing all of this shit.
I've been dropping weight.
You wouldn't know by what I said I ate this week.
But other than that, I eat fucking perfectly.
But I've been dropping weight.
I look good.
I feel good.
But I'm fucking dehydrated as shit.
Because, uh...
I don't know.
I don't like drinking water when I'm doing the elliptical.
Because you have to, like, slow down.
I mean, how much you slow down, it dribbles down your fucking chin.
And I gotta keep my stupid mask on.
You know?
There's this one person at my gym.
They don't know that I know, but I know.
They fucking put their mask on.
And what they do is they double fold it.
And they lift it up over their mouth.
And then they have it hanging down.
And then they're breathing.
You can totally see it from the side.
I call the person the cheater.
But whatever.