Name: Still Faintly Positive - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2022-02-01T15:00:30.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Still Faintly Positive - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Still Faintly Positive - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-01. Transcript available.

Um, I have just a zest of COVID left. I just took another fucking rapid test
and it was just the faintest of the positive lines. So I think by tomorrow I
should be all right. And then I should be good. You know, and I think I did the
right thing. I think I did the right thing. You know, I'm now not calling it
the vaccine. I'm calling it the shot. I got the shot. I got both shots and I
got the fucking, I got the booster, you know.
And therefore the entire time I had COVID, I wouldn't even known I had COVID if,
if I didn't have a test. If somebody didn't test positive in my house, I wouldn't
even have known that I had it. I would have thought I had a cold cause I smoked
too many fucking cigars. That's how little it affects me. So I, I, I think I
did, I did what was right for me. That's what I believe.
Uh, speaking of what's right for me is I need to get fucking back on stage
cause I haven't been on stage in a week and my act will be weak. Come February
5th at fantasy Springs. I got to make sure I go out. So I'm going to be doing a
bunch of spots this week in an eight round. Um, Los Angeles going to be popping
in here or there, but I got to be negative two days in a row before I can go
out. That's how it works.
That's how it works. You know, I'll tell you what's fucking nuts was I wanted
to buy a cigar, right? And I pulled up in the car. My wife was in the car and I
was like, I can't go in there.
I'm like, you know, even though I'm, I'm just on the last day, but like, and
they're saying, you know, some people are saying on the internet that at this
point, seven days after you tested positive, you're not fucking contagious
anymore with Omicron.
I was like, I can't fucking go in there. I can't go in there. Right. And then I
thought about it. And then as I was walking up the door, I was like, I can't do
this. My wife's going, yeah, I don't know. I can't yet.
So I walked right up to the door and I was just like, ah, I'm not doing it. The
night before my daughter wanted a pizza and I didn't have any pizza sauce. And
I was like, oh, I run down to the grocery store. I was like, ah, I can't, I can't
do it.
I wanted to. I was going to put on a mask and go in there. You know what I mean?
Hold my breath when I walked by people to get pizza sauce, be a selfish cunt.
Decided not to.
I decided not to. I probably should. I don't know. You know, I saw these
fucking young kids today, right? They were going up and down Melrose.
We went down there to get some, you know, ice cream or some shit outside. It's
an outside fucking event there.
Um, oh no, my wife tested negative. So she was able to go in. Um, I did not
have any.
I sat there like a sad old man who's not on steroids. So I couldn't take it.
You know,
Bill, why do you do steroids at 53 years of age? Yeah. I just love ice cream.
You know,
and I just don't want to pay for it.
Thank you.