Name: Acting Gig and Staying in Shape - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2022-02-09T16:00:30.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Acting Gig and Staying in Shape - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Acting Gig and Staying in Shape - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-09. Transcript available.

so anyway old freckles has an acting gig coming up and um i'm putting together
this uh this movie
that i wrote with a buddy of mine you know who knows i you know these things
they can fall apart
at any second so who knows i'll let you know guys know what happened but i have
never realized
how easy i had it just being an actor just showing up like the amount of work
and how
hard everybody has to fucking work i did a pass of the script where they're
going like okay and like
they every single prop you just take it for granted they'll just be like okay
in this scene
you know what was it a grill it says he has a grill in the backyard this
character what do you think
does he have a charcoal grill does he have a gas grill is it one of those gas
grills that goes
you know gets the gas from the house or does he have one of those little
fucking things you go
down to home depot for i always forget what you call those things um you know
what kind of what is
it silver is it one of those black ones i mean literally the whole fucking
script what kind of
couches do you think this this character has in this house it is just an astounding
amount of work so
um and thank god i have a bunch of i have a beast of a lineup of department
heads helping me out with
this stuff but i'm just sitting there going like i i just i i had no idea i
mean i knew it was a lot
of work but i had no fucking idea but i'm also having a good time doing it so
having said that
anyway oh billy freckles is finally eating well finally losing weight all right
my little cunt belly
my little baby pooch is starting to finally fucking go down and uh i don't know
we'll see
we'll see you know i gotta get i gotta i gotta i gotta fucking what did i do
the other day i went
to a fitting on the movie i was like you gotta be fucking kidding me you know i
tell you what the
this the one of the worst things for this country that has happened in in in i
don't know how many
years all right was when they started making jeans with the elastic waist the
waistband like who is that
helping back in the day when you started putting on weight those fucking jeans
dug into you and they
left a fucking red mark borderline welt okay and you knew that you had one of
two choices
you either started eating a fucking salad or you had to start pushing those
things south now you know
i know a lot of the rappers and all of that get credit for that style but you
know for wearing your pants
down below your dick and i'm here to tell you that there was a lot of fatties
that did that first
still can fit a 32 inch jean you know just pushing it down your fucking body so
i actually moved a notch down on my belt it's a little tight but i'm i should
be there by the end
of the week and then uh then that's the last notch of my belt and i i gotta i
gotta i gotta stop this
shit guys i don't know i always thought if i quit drinking that you know the
weight would come off and
it does initially but then you're just so fucking bored you got to do something
you know you miss the
fucking rush you know stupidest thing i ever did was i went out i ordered malt
uh off the internet and i started making myself chocolate malts like once a
week i would have one
you know combine and then that would just get all this sugar in me and then i
would want salt and
the next you know the next day i'm at like eating a fucking italian sandwich or
something
and i'm not gonna lie to you i had a lot of fun getting this out of shape but
uh it is not fun
walking the fucking road back i can tell you that right now um anyway you know
what's been going on
with me lately man if i fucking sit down my nose gets fucking clogged up and i
gotta become a mouth
breather here you should go to an ear nose and throat doctor i should stop
smoking cigars which i i'm
fucking i'm trying like hell to do it but i just love it man i need it all
right