Name: All-Star Games 2022 - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2022-02-09T16:30:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'All-Star Games 2022 - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'All-Star Games 2022 - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-09. Transcript available.

so anyway this is always like a tough weekend as a sports fan you know when the
Pro Bowl's on
it just lets you there's all that excitement from the AFC NFC championship game
holy shit
the Cincinnati Bengals who saw them coming and the Rams are they going to
redeem that
they're that loss to the New England Patriots is their boy wonder coach gonna
get that ring
and silence his critics right
and just week after Patrick Mahomes and all these guys they're all gonna they're
gonna get back and
all of this shit and oh my god that Bill's Chiefs game fucking unbelievable
especially if you're not
into defense right fucking crazy all amped up and then there's just that they
just fucking back
off at least they put the police to put the Pro Bowl after the two-week break
between the
championship games the conference championship and the Super Bowl now they put
the Pro Bowl in the
middle and I just I refuse to watch the fucking Pro Bowl like watching contact
sports all-star games
Pro Bowls it's just like they're gonna go half speed like I watched 10 minutes
of the NHL all-star
game when I was watching it I thought these were like old-timers or college
players they were skating
so fucking slow it was three on three which is so fucking exciting when they're
playing but they
were just like I saw one guy go out and do a shift it's like that guy's not
even have to take a fucking
shower at the end of this game he just was just gliding around it looked like
he was in a fucking
public skating rink but I get it I get it they're risking millions of dollars
and all of this type of
shit to go out and play a game that doesn't matter I could I kind of gathered
that there was something
there was some sort of carrot they were dangling something about a million
dollars
I don't know what I don't know what it was they somebody they had Mark Messier
and um
uh who else was on it um Chris Chelios you know to the superstars from when I
was a kid to my uh you
know I like Chelios after he left the uh the Canadians just as a Bruins fan I
couldn't admit how
much I like that guy he's just a great fucking player I think he played Chicago
and Detroit
played forever uh but those are the three teams I remember him on but anyways
they mentioned something
about a fucking million dollars or something I don't know what it was but I was
I couldn't watch the
fucking game um I feel like the the MLB all-star game's a good one because the
pitchers go in you
know they're only pitching for an inning so they can go hard and they don't
want to give up a fucking
home run and then all the batters you know they don't want to go up there and
strike out I just feel
like you know because it's like one-on-one pitcher versus batter they know
everybody's watching so they
can't go there and like not perform plus they're not going to get tackled they're
not going to blow out
a fucking ACL NBA all-star game's another good one you know you get to see all
these guys just doing
shit you would never do in a game there's no defense who gives a fuck it's fun
but the NHL all-star game
NHL all-star game and and the fucking pro bowl stink sorry to say that because
those are my two favorite
sports all right there I said it um so anyway next week is the Super Bowl and
um I think I'm gonna bet the uh
I think I'm gonna bet the fucking the Bengals you know I don't know that
offensive line
could just somehow give Joe Burrow time he's gonna he's I think he's gonna be
fine I think
the I think the Bengals have is good good enough good enough defense and if
that wasn't the lamest
analogy of the game then I don't think he watched football whatever I'm an LSU
fan that's why I'm
betting on the Bengals because I like Joe Burrow that's it it's all the risk
all right I don't know
what to tell you uh but it should be a great game last I checked was only like
a three-point spread
I saw this thing on real sports when they were sitting there talking about how
fucking uh
you could actually gamble on the game at the stadiums now I mean they're
literally turning
it into the track the fucking pro bowls in Vegas you know my whole life growing
up they just steered
clear of all of that shit and they would never ever in any sport dream
of uh you know putting a game in Vegas because it was still run by the mob in
the 70s
and they're like they're gonna get their fucking hooks in on a player and they're
gonna start throwing
games and we're gonna have a 1919 Chicago White Sox scandal that's one of my
missions in baseball to
stop calling them the Black Sox it was the Chicago White Sox that did that call
the Black Sox it sounds
like it's a team that no longer exists they did that shit and what's funny was
they never got called
for like the curse they were never considered cursed you know we sold Babe Ruth
because we were you know
our owner was into the arts he wanted to put on a musical you know actually
entertain the good
people in New York and he gave him Babe Ruth to boot was a nice gesture I felt
by the Red Sox but we
were considered cursed fucking White Sox throw the World Series
make all these little white kids around America boy oh boy I love baseball oh
Joe say it ain't so
their big stupid paper route hats and everything crying in the fucking crowd
and they were never considered cursed but the Cubs were because somebody wasn't
allowed to bring their
farm animal into a stadium I never understood why the White Sox didn't get more
shit for that um and I think
it was the brilliance that they called it the Black Sox and they just fucking
stepped away it wasn't us
that was the Black Sox and now we're the White Sox again and that was it they
got away with the whole
thing and I'm here to rip the cover off this scandal sorry um that's it I think
I'm putting my money on I
know I'm putting my money on the Bengals all right but I'm betting with my
heart all right nothing against
the Rams I like the Rams too it's a fun Super Bowl I like both teams but I just
like the I don't know
I've been rooting for Joe Burrow since he was at fucking LSU um all right so
that's it go
Go fuck yourselves.
I'll check in on you on Thursday.