Name: Nia’s Valentine’s Day - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2022-02-15T17:15:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Nia’s Valentine’s Day - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Nia’s Valentine’s Day - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-15. Transcript available.

February 14th, oh it's the ladies day 2022, two, two, two, um, shout out to all
the ladies
today, this is your second Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or whatever else you
celebrate, this
is for the ladies, where all the men celebrate our relationship with you, our
relationship
together, yet for some reason the financial burden is all on us, oh Jesus
Christ, you
wouldn't believe what my lovely wife just said to me, I had some friends over,
we watched
the game, we're sitting outside, we're smoking sticks afterwards, and she
cleaned up the
kitchen, right, and then, you know, as she should, no, she cleans up the
kitchen, right,
where they belong, kidding, um, and she says to me afterwards, she just goes
like, she
goes, she goes, I did the whole, you know, I cleaned up all the kitchen, but
blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, she goes, she goes, tonight was your Valentine's Day, I
mean, can
you fucking believe that, you fucking did some dishes, and you cleaned up, and
like, that's
what you did for me, you know, I mean, she, they did, that's what they used to
do every
fucking day, and iron your shirt, unbelievable, so I guess that was my
Valentine's Day, not to
mention, the other night, she has a wonderful friends over, and they were
supposed to watch
a movie, and they didn't, you know, women, they start fucking talking, and they
never stop,
and they're down the kitchen, it's echoing upstairs, we got the kids sleeping,
oh my God,
she would have raised, holy hell if I did that, I was literally upstairs in bed,
I had made
a head sandwich with two fucking pillows, and I was going, can you at least
fucking, you know,
go to the back room, she doesn't see it, you know, whatever, do I fucking break
her ovaries
about that, no, no, I do not, no, I do not, um, nah, she's fucking awesome, but
she's just
fucking cracked me up, oh, is that all you had to do, wash a couple of fucking
spoons and a few
dishes, happy Valentine's Day, thanks for flying out to East bumfuck every
other weekend, telling
you shit jokes, did I tell you lately that I love you, did I wash a saucer and
a cup, I put
them in the rack, I did not dry them, you came in afterwards and finished the
job, um, this
is your Valentine's Day, what the fuck, um, my Valentine's Day, she puts up
with me, all
right, and you know, that's the truth, and I'm not saying this, because I know
she's probably
listening to this, uh, no, it's true, she does put up with me, and I am a lot,
I am a lot,
you know, it all balances out, I do a lot, and then I am a lot, and it negates
it, you know,
it's funny, we, uh, so we're sitting outside, we're smoking cigars, and you
know, the second
you sit down with your buddies to smoke your cigars, what's gonna happen, your
wife's gonna
come out and be like, could you come inside for a second, with that tone that
makes everybody's
fucking asshole go like, oh shit, my buddy's in trouble, so I come in, and she
goes, uh,
our daughter is coughing, she has dust all over, and she's having problems
sleeping,
she just came down, and I look at my daughter, she has dust on the end of her
nose,
it's all on her sleeve, and it's all in her fucking hair, and I'm like, what
the, is there
something coming down from the ceiling, I don't know, I go, go check the
ceiling, and she gives
me the look, which means, you go check the ceiling, so I go up there, there's
nothing on the ceiling,
I'm looking at her stuffed animals, there's no problem, so then I go, first 48
on my kid,
and I'm like, did you get out of bed, and she's like, no, and I just cocked my
head, and I gave
her the fucking, you know, the rock, put the eyebrow up, and I just give her
the look, and she goes,
I go, did you go over to the window, you know, because we were sitting in the
backyard, and she
was like, yes, so I walk over to the curtains, that came with the house, and I
just go on the inside
of the curtains, and I drag my fingers down, and it's the exact same dust, I'm
like, there you go,
that's what it was, right, so now my wife has to give a shot, by the way, I
gave my daughter the bath,
have I told you lately, that I did shit too, did I rub it in your face, and say,
I'm not taking you
out to dinner now, because I gave our kid a bath, and I put her to bed, I've
done my bullshit for the
year, I did not do that, I walked in there like Sherlock and Holmes, figured it
out, figured it
out in two fucking seconds, you know, it's solved, granted my daughter had to
take another bath, but you
know, whatever, shit happens, so, whatever, I go back downstairs, you know,
evidently, I just got my
fucking Valentine's Day gift, because my wife just washed a couple of dishes,
oh, I gotta get it back
on the podcast again, oh, I'm gonna get, oh, I'm gonna give her a couple of, a
couple of, a couple of
ideas, I'm gonna float across the table, um, Russia and Landmass, we're
actually going out to dinner
on Valentine's Day, which is funny to me, so I'm gonna be sitting there the
whole time of the dinner,
I'm just gonna be going like, just, just so I'm clear here, this isn't for me,
this isn't for me, my,
you know, this dinner's not for me, okay, am I allowed to eat?