Name: Inflation - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2022-04-15T16:15:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Inflation - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Inflation - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-15. Transcript available.

People, I'm going to get outside my element right now, and I'm going to talk
inflation.
What's the deal with inflation?
Why does inflation happen?
Why will it continue to happen?
I'll tell you exactly why.
Because people pay attention to the colors of ties.
These fucking liberal snowflakes with their goddamn fucking inflation.
The fucking other, yeah, these red-tied sons of bitches with their Uzis and
their AR-50s.
All you fucking dumb shit.
Why don't you wake up?
Become smart like me.
Someone who doesn't watch the news.
Someone who isn't informed.
Someone who took 45 years to consistently spell restaurant correctly.
Someone who still can't spell vinyl.
I know there's a Y in there.
Wait, I got it.
V-I-N-Y-L?
Is there an A in there?
Whatever.
You need to listen to me, man.
It's vinyl, Bill.
Not Vine-Y-L.
Now she used to watch a show called Vinyl.
I still didn't know how to spell it.
Yeah.
Inflation is because our currency is controlled by a private group of bankers
that have created
basically a legal Ponzi scheme.
Okay?
Might also have to do with the fact we've been playing a road game for over 20
years that
bankrupted the fucking country.
That might also be what it is.
But I don't want to get involved in that because then everybody gets upset.
Because they'd rather fucking blame the color of ties and pay attention to
jokes told by
stand-up comedians.
That's what's destroying the fabric of America.
It's not doctors creating synthetic heroin or people poisoning the food supply
or dumping
water into our fucking, dumping water, dumping poisons into our drinking water.
It's not the government allowing, on both sides, allowing these corporate cunts
to create
disposable shit made out of plastic that then is dumped in the fucking ocean.
It's not any of that.
It has to do with blue ties and red ties.
Oh, Billy's on his fucking preacher stump today, isn't he?
Anyway, at the end of the day, until we get rid of at least 80% of the
population, probably
even more, like the longer we go, the more drastic the culling of the herd is
going to
have to be in order for the surviving human beings to just chill the fuck out
and let the
earth try to right itself.
This is what I would do if I was getting rid of the herd, all right?
I would keep all the astronauts and I'd keep all the nerds.
And then what we do is we create these giant space garbage trucks.
That's right.
I said it.
Space garbage truck.
If Trump can say nuclear is the real N-word, I can say space garbage trucks and
probably win
a local election.
Dude, I like what this guy's talking about with his space garbage trucks.
This is what you do.
You vacuum up space garbage trucks into vacuuming.
The ocean bill, that's right.
It's two and a half times the size of Texas and fucking two miles deep.
You vacuum up all of that shit and you stick it in these space garbage trucks
and then you
fly them out.
I don't know where they go.
The astronauts come back.
We'll stick monkeys in them.
Monkeys.
All right.
And then if you're part of PETA and you're like, oh, the monkey didn't fucking
do anything,
man.
We're going to say, well, go save them.
You thumbed footed cunt.
You go do it.
Right.
And then when they jump on the space garbage truck, we just, we launch and that's
it.
You know what I mean?
Like, what the fuck are we doing right now?
The whole thing's going to hell in a handbasket and everybody's acting like,
you know,
nothing's going on, and they're still screaming and yelling at either side. I
don't know.