Name: Don't Bore Kids With History - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2022-04-22T16:15:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Don't Bore Kids With History - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Don't Bore Kids With History - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-22. Transcript available.

I saw this woman, I think she was on the Freedom Trail,
and she had like these kids who were like under the age of 10,
and she's just sitting there reading them all this shit about fucking Paul Revere.
And these poor kids could just give a fuck.
And they're not retaining any of the information.
And I'm just sitting there looking at her like, you know, you're doing a good
thing.
You're combating, you know, iPads and TVs and the screen.
You're trying to combat that shit.
And like, but I got to be honest, if this is the option,
that they go from a fucking flat screen TV or an iPad to listen to you telling
them
where fucking Paul Revere, you know, rode his goddamn horse and it took a shit
or whatever the hell you do.
Like these kids could not have given a fuck less.
And she was just plowing through this information, looking at it on a, on like
a brochure.
And I learned something.
I was like, I'm not doing that with my kids.
We're not going on vacation to learn something.
We're not.
We're going on vacation to be on vacation.
I'm not going to fucking take you to Seattle and then be like, and, and this is
where, uh, you know,
fucking Kurt Cobain rode a horse to get a fucking sandwich, you know, whatever
the fuck they do out in Seattle.
Um, I'm not doing that.
I'm just going to chill out and we're going to have a good time.
Like, I feel like teaching kids, you got to, you got to like, you got to sneak
it in.
You know, you can't just come at them like, yeah, you're going to sit down, you're
going to learn this shit.
First of all, they already get that at school.
So if you come home and you're going to do that, I fucking hated that when I
was a kid and some stupid adult would be telling me, let's sit down for a
second.
I'm going to, I'm going to teach you something.
And the whole time that they were talking, I was, I would just, oh, are you?
You fucking douche.
That's all I was thinking.
And they probably were telling me, you know, something I should have retained,
but I don't know.
The older I get in this, just being, being a parent, I just realized there's so
many of these fucking people.
You can learn so much, like good shit too, but he goes and learn, like, I'm not
doing that.
I'm never taking my kids on the fucking freedom trail in Massachusetts.
I'm not doing that.
There is no fucking, if they want to do that when they're adults, they can do
that.
Or whatever, but there is no way.
Oh, Bill, who's kidding who?
You can't sit through it.
I couldn't.
There's no fucking way.
I can't sit through it.
There's certain historical events I can sit through.
There's something about that powdered wig shit.
I just, I don't give a fuck.
And I know it has a, you know, it's an important part of the history of this
country, but I just don't care.
When people had buckles on their hats and on their shoes, I just, I can't, I
don't know what it is.
There has to be, like, a certain level of, like, like, I don't give a fuck
about World War I.
I don't give a fuck about the FBI.
I don't give a, sorry.
I mean, obviously, you know, I'm not belittling the sacrifices and everything.
I just don't, I can't, like, sit down.
That's not true, because I read All Quiet on the Western Front, and that was
amazing.
You know what?
I need planes, I need machine guns, and bombs, and I can fucking read about a
war.
It's weird.
It's weird.
But if it's just, like, if there's, like, horses involved, like, I'm, like, ugh.
Unless it's, like, you know, cowboys and Indian stuff when I was growing up.
Like, the real story, not our story.
Then I can get into this shit.
All right, you know what I realized in the last fucking seven minutes is I
judged that mother because she was saying some shit that I didn't want to hear
about.
And then I just made it about her kids not wanting to hear about it.
Maybe I should do it.
I don't fucking know.
Anyway, this is the podcast.
Listen, fuck that.
I stand by the fact that those kids did not give a shit.
They did not give a shit about what she was talking about.
They look fucking miserable.
Just get them an ice cream.
They have their whole life to sit and listen to another person fucking yammering
some shit that bores the hell out of them that they have to retain in order to
get to the next fucking step in life.
Why do that to them when they're kids?
Yeah, it's good training.
It's good training.
So, anyway.