Name: Learning French With My Daughter - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2022-06-01T16:45:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Learning French With My Daughter - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Learning French With My Daughter - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-01. Transcript available.

Sorry, it's the espresso, man. I like it.
You know, I sit there. I feel like, uh...
Je suis, uh...
Je suis Guillaume.
Je suis American.
Je voudrais un café avec du lait.
Pas du vent, s'il vous plaît.
Go fuck yourself.
I'm getting back into my French, man.
Back up. I'm up to fucking number 27 on Pimsleur.
You gotta do Pimsleur.
This is not even...
I'm not even getting paid to say this shit.
You gotta do Pimsleur.
That's where it's at.
I mean, part of this might be the coffee talking,
but yeah, I'm a little fucking ramped up here.
I'm not gonna lie to you.
You know what I'm psyched about?
I'm off the road for two weeks, right?
I'm off the road again.
Chicka-boom, chicka-boom, boom, boom.
Old bald Billy's off the road again.
He can hang out with his two little friends.
That's all he did this morning.
So I just played with my kids.
It's hilarious.
Both of them hilarious.
We were playing shoots and ladders,
which I realized that's what I'm gonna do now
when I want to curse.
I'll be like, ah, shoots and ladders.
That works, right?
So you kind of feel like you're saying shit,
but not really.
And before all the Australians write in,
I get it.
Ladders and snakes is what you called it.
And we said shoots.
You know what I mean?
They're like, they think it's because we can't handle snakes
or something like that.
That's not the reason why.
You guys called it snakes and ladders
because you have all of those fucking ridiculously poisonous snakes out there.
I mean, we got rattlesnakes here,
but you never see them.
You know?
People in Australia go out to get their mail
and they just never come back.
They either get bit by a snake or something.
Joe, he comes over and fucking kicks the fucking memory out of their head.
And then our koala bears, they're kind of cunty too.
You know, they're like, koala bears, they're like Star Wars fans,
like nerds, you know what I mean?
Where they're just sort of fucking laid back
and you think that they're nice because they're quiet.
And then, you know, then you give them a hug
and they pee on your leg.
I don't know.
I gotta work on that reference.
Okay?
But I actually came home, you know,
and my daughter, you know,
was like, daddy!
And I started speaking French to her
and she was speaking it back to me.
It's gonna be sick
because I'm gonna learn it as she learns it.
And then as we get older,
we're gonna get to talk shit about people
that we're looking at in French.
And it's gonna be my,
it's gonna be another thing.
Another daddy-daughter date.
You know, let's go out in public and trash people
when they don't know what we're talking about.
Another great reason to learn another language.
It brings you closer to your kids.
Right?
Um, as a guy,
I'll tell you,
you know what's fucking underrated?
Going for a stroll.
Fuck this working out shit.
Just taking a walk.
Just being with yourself.
You know?
Talking to yourself,
to people in your life.
There's nothing better
when you're talking about,
when you're having an argument with someone
in your life that isn't there.
I mean,
you gotta win.
Right?
Just walking down the street,
you know,
and you get so into it,
you don't notice people walking by
and they're just staring at you.
And you're over there whispering,
and another thing,
I'll tell you what the fuck else I'm sick of.
Okay?
And you think I'm handling,
taking this shit?
You got another fucking thing coming.
Okay?
Because I don't know who the fuck you think I am.
Okay?
Because I'm not the one.
You know?
You try to fucking do the white guy head roll there.
Because you watch reality TV.
Um...