Name: 2022 NBA Finals Game 2 - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2022-06-09T01:48:25.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '2022 NBA Finals Game 2 - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '2022 NBA Finals Game 2 - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-09. Transcript available.

are you guys like me how many fucking buttons do you have to shut off before
the fucking tv's off
off off off menu off off menu guide off can i help you with something is there
something you're trying
to do um anyway uh i've been watching nba all of that shit you guys watching
that shit the series
is all tied up and what um i actually had a great realization in uh in game two
is that i just don't
i just don't give a fuck about the pro game i'm just not into it i just i am
not built to watch an
nba playoff game that my team is in win or lose i'm just emotionally i am not
mature enough
i have kids i just i can't do it so i i like every fucking year like all going
all the way back
to dennis rodman there's these guys in the league that deliberately get tangled
up with other players
and then they act like they're trying to get up off the floor as they're sort
of semi like hitting the
guy in the head and then the announcer's always like well let's take a look i
don't see any sort
of flagrant i don't think that was on purpose uh he was trying to defend
himself let's get the fuck
it's like did you not have an older brother older brothers know how to do that
shit they fucking act
like they lose their balance whoa and they land on you and as they go to get up
they push off your
head instead of the floor i mean did you did you were there no older kids in
your neighborhood this
is like classic shit and they just never fucking call it and i just i i can't i
i can't fucking do it
i got kids so i'm not doing it all right i hope the celtics win but i am uh i
am not like there's just
something about the nba that i don't know what it is about the fucking game um
other than that i
really think that it's like massaged or whatever like there was no doubt
tonight i'm like the warriors
are gonna win tonight whether they win or not they're gonna win tonight they
have to win they can't be
down oh two the casual fans gonna shut it off the nba is not gonna have that
and i know this sounds
like conspiracy and i don't think that the referees gave us the game i thought
they played great but
even if they didn't even if they didn't they were gonna win tonight and i you
cannot convince me
otherwise i just i'm not uh this is the only fucking sport that i am 100 if i
had to fucking put my all
of my money on manipulated or not manipulated this is the sport that i would
100 do it which is a
fucking shame too because i gotta tell you something as much as the warriors
were kicking our ass in that
first game in the first half i was as as a fan of sports was 100 still enjoying
the game because
steph curry is like the greatest shooter of all time so um you know and i've
never been that like
like i never hated derrick jeter i just can't i can't like i mean i'll tease
the guy whatever
made fun of that fucking shit he used to do to try to get a you know a strike
to become a ball or
whatever that i did on the red sox thing but i i fucking love that guy i hate
that he played for
the yankees but like i i never take it to that level but um i don't know just i
don't know what
it is about the nba the fans that fucking douche tonight i think steph curry
hit a three-pointer
and they cut to the crowd and there's some guy miming shooting a bow and arrow
we played like the miami heat they cut they cut to the crowd after miami scored
like you know
eight nothing run or something they cut to the crowd and there's some kid with
this giant stupid
and he's like nodding his head as fast as he can as he's jumping up and down
like like in no other
sport did the fans act like they just scored um like nba fans and i don't i don't
think they like
that in the upper deck i just feel like there's a certain level of douche that
i i don't know you have
to be to sit in the lower bowl at a fucking nba game um anyway but mark jackson
was in a rare form
you know steph curry wide open for a three and he'd be like i'll tell you right
now that was just
terrible defense by the boston celtics you cannot leave a man like steph curry
that wide open if you
do that's a very easy way to go down 1-0 in the nba finals and then remember robert
fucking griffin the
third is like out by the three-point arc you guys like fucking 6-10 or
something covering uh steph curry
and steph curry just you know he gave him a little cushion steph curry pulls up
and he hits it once
again mark jackson you mean you just cannot give a player like that that amount
of space it's like
mark he's the greatest shooter of all time it doesn't matter this guy's 6-10
what the fuck is
he supposed to do is he supposed to go out and try to fucking put his dick on
his leg he's just gonna
go around him and fucking lay it up i mean it's steph curry he's gonna get 30.
it just it it is what it
is if you're the boston celtics enjoy this victory but no the series is not
over if you're golden state
learn from your mistakes and move on to game two thank you mark
what do the boston celtics need to do right now execute um but i swear to god
like that fucking
draymond green i mean how many times can he accidentally fall on somebody and
as he's trying
to get up be kicking them in the chest or in the head accidentally like you
know it's not like you
know enough to make the guy hurt but just that bullshit um and then they sit
there go oh they try is
he trying to get up i don't know they grab ja rule's kneecap and just pull did
he confuse the ball with
his patella i i don't know i don't understand it's like am i watching wrestling
um because he's a neutral
announcers that's what i don't like it's like you're neutral i understand a homer
like when i
watch the washington capitals feed they never think you know wilson does
anything wrong i watch the
bruins feed they don't think our guys ever do i get that but like this is
supposed to be like a
national fucking broadcast um i don't know did he you know was is kicking
somebody in the balls
a natural follow through of his jump shot i i have no idea um if you go into
the bathroom a public bathroom to take a piss
and someone is already in there shitting hold your breath take out your dick
and execute i want mark jackson advice in everyday life
if you're driving down the street and your cell phone falls between your seat
and your center console
learn from your mistake and continue driving
thank you mark that was that was riveting insight um yeah i think i i've got to
be honest with you i just
think with my temperament and i have kids i just really think that i'm not a
playoff guy anymore
uh i probably never was i just didn't have little people that are influenced by
my behavior so i think
what i'm gonna be a regular season guy you know i'm gonna watch game number 43
of an 82 game season
and just sit down hey they win it they lose it i don't give a fuck um you know
what i mean you know
what it's like to be sitting there playing candy land with your daughter as you
get one like eye on the
screen trying not to be like you know like losing your mind like come on man
play defense and all of
this shit anyways i know it's gonna it's gonna be a uh a great series
interesting matchup celtics are
really young golden state um very experienced in all of that so i don't know i'll
be honest with you
after two games i don't know which way it's gonna go i hope the celtics win but
i have to be honest
with you i i am i think i'm i think i'm too old to watch my team in the nba
finals i don't think i
can fucking handle it and i love my kids more than i need to watch this shit so
i'm gonna just sort of
have it on in the background as i'm playing connect four and shit and i'm gonna
dip in get some fucking
nba analysis you know and and and you know and then just go back back in i
think that's the way i'm
gonna do it um because other than that what am i doing my kids don't understand
and i want them to
like sports um speaking of sports i went to the uh dodgers mets but before i
before i i uh i move on
i i do want to say what a fucking once again what a pleasure it is to watch
fucking steph curry play
i mean that guy is fucking amazing fucking amazing amazing player and i'm like
mark jackson i'm stating
the obvious but like there was a while ago i think this guy might be the
greatest shooter of all he is
just like without a doubt i mean that guy the second he gets over the half
court line
you know i never seen the guy five if he's five feet and i remember in game one
he had the ball at
the end of a quarter and like threw it the length of the court and i actually
expected it to go in
hey i'm telling you the kid can shoot let me explain this away um i'm actually
really proud of myself
that i actually got up and walked away from that game you know i really am you
know it wasn't going
to change i knew the warriors were going to win tonight i'm like they're too
good a fucking team
they're not going to go down oh two this just isn't going to happen so just
fucking just walk away
from it before you get your conspiracy theory going and and and all of this
shit and i i kind of did
and uh i think i need to do that more because as everyone in my life has told
me i don't
possess the emotional maturity
and i don't it's fucking true