Name: Impersonating Mark Jackson - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2022-06-09T02:01:57.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Impersonating Mark Jackson - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Impersonating Mark Jackson - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-09. Transcript available.

Like every fucking year, like going all the way back to Dennis Rodman, there's
these guys in the
league that deliberately get tangled up with other players and then they act
like they're trying to
get up off the floor as they're sort of semi like hitting the guy in the head.
And then the announcer
is always like, you know, let's take a look. I don't see any sort of flagrant.
I don't think
that was on purpose. He was trying to defend himself. Let's get the fuck. It's
like, did you
not have an older brother? Older brothers know how to do that shit. They
fucking act like they lose
their balance. Whoa. And they land on you. And as they go to get up, they push
off your head instead
of the floor. I mean, did you, did you, were there no older kids in your
neighborhood? This is like
classic shit. And they just never fucking call it. Anyway, but Mark Jackson was
in a rare form,
you know, Steph Curry wide open for a three. And he'd be like, I'll tell you
right now,
that was just terrible defense by the Boston Celtics. You cannot leave a man
like Steph Curry
that wide open. If you do, that's a very easy way to go down 1-0 in the NBA
finals.
And then remember Robert fucking Griffin III is like out by the three-point arc.
The guy's like
fucking 6'10 or something covering Steph Curry. And Steph Curry just, you know,
he gave him a little
cushion. Steph Curry pulls up and he hits it. Once again, Mark Jackson. You
mean you just cannot give
a player like that, that amount of space. It's like Mark, he's the greatest
shooter of all time.
It doesn't matter. This guy's 6'10. What the fuck is he supposed to do? Is he
supposed to go out and
try to fucking put his dick on his leg? He's just going to go around him and
fucking lay it up. I mean,
it's Steph Curry. He's going to get 30. It just, it is what it is.
If you're the Boston Celtics, enjoy this victory, but know the series is not
over. If you're Golden
State, learn from your mistakes and move on to game two. Thank you, Mark.
What do the Boston Celtics need to do right now? Execute. If you go into the
bathroom,
a public bathroom to take a piss and someone is already in there shitting, hold
your breath,
take out your dick and execute. I want Mark Jackson advice in everyday life. If
you're driving down
the street and your cell phone falls between your seat and your center console,
learn from your mistake
and continue driving. Thank you, Mark. That was, that was riveting insight. And,
uh, not nobody gives a fuck.
It's just not going to matter. Why is it suddenly 9,000 fucking degrees in here?
Um, if you're in the room and you're hot, remove your sweater. If you're not,
keep doing what you're doing
and execute. Thank you, Mark Jackson. Thank you, Mark Jackson. Woo. I am for
real. Uh, Roman, everybody.
All right. Style. No matter what you're wearing, confidence starts on the
inside. That, that's why it's so
important for men to think about their testosterone health early. That's
because testosterone is believed
to affect everything from our libido to our blood health. I could use some
fucking testosterone right now.
If your dick is staring at the floor, get Roman. If it's standing up and saluting
the flag,
continue doing what you're doing, but know that the series is not over.