Name: Daughter Is Smart But Son Is Aggressive - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2022-07-12T16:15:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Daughter Is Smart But Son Is Aggressive - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-07-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Daughter Is Smart But Son Is Aggressive - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-07-12. Transcript available.

So I just had a great fucking day, you know.
I just hung out with my kids all day, you know.
I was just listening to my daughter talk and looking at her and just, you know.
They make like these cognitive leaps where like the conversation all of a
sudden out of nowhere is just like.
And you always realize it like usually after you walked away like, wait a
minute, wow.
That was a way beyond conversation that I've had with my kid since ever, you
know.
God, I'm stupid.
I can't even fucking, I can't even communicate my fucking thoughts.
Maybe if it feels like she's making cognitive leaps because I'm so fucking
stupid.
Maybe that's what it is.
Yeah, so I was just talking.
I was like literally like just taking her in.
You know, you ever have a moment in your life you're like, I'm going to think
about this in the future.
And you realize it like in the fucking moment.
Those are always great if you can do that.
So I was doing that.
And I got this new thing with my son because he, you know, he has like these
meltdowns.
You know, he's two years old.
He just fucking like, and it's not the terrible twos like they say.
It's, he's been doing it since he was one.
He just, when he gets something in his hand that he wants and he doesn't want
you to get it.
Like, first of all, he puts a death grip on it and he screams like a fucking
wild man.
So, um, the way I grew up is what you do as a dad.
Then all the dads in my neighborhood, my dad will all be like, ah, knock it off.
Start fucking yelling at a baby.
Start yelling at a toddler like it cut you off in traffic.
You know, that's, that's just how dads were back then.
That's what you did.
You had bass in your voice and you fucking used it.
You turned it up to 11 and you screamed at a fucking one or two year old and
you made him pee a little bit.
And then they gave up the fucking Frisbee or whatever the hell they had back in
the seventies.
Right.
But, uh, you know, I see how I turned out and I'm like, okay, maybe that's not
a good approach.
You know?
So.
I do this thing.
I just, I literally just rub his head.
I'm like, buddy, buddy, you can't do this.
You can't throw stuff at your sister.
You know, you can't push your mom.
Like he, like he gets mad and he like, he wanted to sit in my car.
Right.
Dad has car.
Dad has car.
And I, I, you know, I was like, buddy, I have to get ready to, I don't know
what the fuck we were doing.
So I said, I'll do it in a minute.
And he's like, no, no, no, no.
And I closed the door and he was like yanking on the door.
And I'm like, buddy, relax.
And then he just ran at me screaming with both arms over his head.
And, uh, I just ran into my leg.
Like he just threw himself into me and then he fell down and he started crying.
And, uh, I just got this thing, you know, I just sort of sued him and it's
really been working.
My buddy, buddy, you can't, you can't do that.
Just relax.
It's going to be fine.
And then he goes like.
It's big little kid tears.
Um, yeah, we're starting to, you know, turn the corner with him where I noticed
yesterday.
It only happened a couple of times where it was like, you know, I was told you
I was a little embarrassed when I was coming back from France as far as like,
all right, I'm too much of a pushover here with my kid.
And I started to turn it around on the flight where, you know, it's funny.
Little kids, they know when you're not fucking around, even if you're a pushover,
they know when you're serious and they might push back a little bit, but then
they're kind of like, all right, I think I'm, uh, I think I'm pushing the
privileges here.
So, um, I had a great day, like hanging out with him, like playing catch with
him.
I didn't, I haven't even had to teach him how to play catch.
He just can fucking do it.
It's amazing.
And my daughter threw a spiral with a football yesterday.
I freaked the fuck out.
Um, and I was getting along with my wife, but I just kept having these fucking
little outbursts during the day.
And I'm like, why is my temper back like this?
And I think I'm just stressing out about, you know, just all the work I got in
front of me and all of that shit.