Name: Environmentalist Here - Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2022-07-19T16:15:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Environmentalist Here - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-07-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Environmentalist Here - Bill Burr' from Billy Twinkle Toes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-07-19. Transcript available.

Environmentalist here, oh Jesus, you know, there's an environmentalist book
that I wanted
to read that this female scientist wrote back in the day called The Silent
Spring, and it
was predicting everything that was basically happening today with pesticides
and all of
that, where back in the day, you know, if bugs and all of that shit got to
crops, all
of a sudden there was like no strawberries that year, if there was a frost or
something
like that, whatever the hell it was, I think it was more like insects, so they
came up
with these pesticides, which in the short run were fantastic, and in the long
run, you
know, just poisoned animals and all of this, it just, it's unreal, it's unreal.
If we would just let ourselves die naturally instead of fighting our
environment, what we're
doing with the environment, I think is, remember the great thing about Breaking
Bad was every
move that Mr. White did to try to get out, just sort of tightened the noose
around his
neck a little more, it just created an even bigger problem, and I feel like
that's what
we're doing, all right, this is getting too dark, sorry, environmentalist here.
Hey, Billy Tootooth, I work for a wildlife group and consult with an energy
company.
I want to thank you for pointing out the biggest problem plaguing the earth.
It's not fossil fuels.
It's not the lack of electric cars, it's the production of useless goods.
Governments and companies are trying to blame commoners like us, even though we
have much
less of an effect on things than them.
The militaries of the world, namely the U.S., are the largest polluters on the
planet, yet
their budgets grow by 15% year, year over year.
I think you mean year after year.
You're the only one I've heard in the mainstream that constantly points out the
waste product
made by consumers, yeah.
We've made so many advancements in fuel extractions and efficiencies, yet no
one talks about the
consumer waste and trash piles, absolutely.
All you have to do is look at hoarders, you know?
I used to do a joke in my act how I liked hoarders, you know?
There's an honesty to the way they live.
They're just sitting there like, this is what I did.
This is the mess I made of my life, as opposed to those fucking minimalists who
throw all
their shit out and then act like they're a genius because they got two pairs of
pants.
I'm not saying oil spills aren't a problem.
I'm just saying that if we stop consuming goods at the rate that we do, we
wouldn't have as
many oil-based plastics disturbing the natural order of the earth.
Thanks for being a unique thinker in a world of drones and sheep who think
putting a tree
in their Twitter bio means they're part of the solution.
Yeah, but I also think if we went like, you know, nuclear and electric, it
would get us
out of the Middle East and then we wouldn't have to worry about, you know, all
of these
nuclear programs that they're allegedly having that we, for some reason, can't
find.
Yeah, they wouldn't have the money to do it.
You could stay home, but we don't want to do that.
We want to be over there and suck all their fucking resources.
You know, we don't, all right?
I don't want to do that.
But Buck and Esso and all those other motherfuckers.
I named a Canadian one just for the hell of it.
I don't know.
What the fuck do I know?
All right.
Overrated, underrated.
Dear Billy Butterball.
Hey, do the fat jokes all you want.
I'm only half a butterball now.
Greetings from New Hampshire.
Oh, it's God's country up there.
I'm currently on summer break from my college and the podcast has been a great
way to pass
the time on my drive to work.
Love the Red Rock special and thanks for all of your great work.
Anyway, I wanted to write into the podcast to give you, to give a suggestion
for the overrated,
underrated section.
I think safety features in cars are overrated.
Hear me out, he says.
I drive a 2009 model Toyota and besides the airbag, there doesn't seem to be
any safety features
of any kind and I don't think I'm missing out.
My parents drive newer cars and the beeping when you back the car up or cross
over the
lines in the road drives me crazy.
I think just cruising without any noise other than the sound of a good old
classic rock album
is an underrated luxury.
I love how you're talking about this 2009 like you got a 1970 Camaro or
something.
That's how much advancement has happened since then.
Anyways, good old classic rock album is an underrated luxury and that old base
model car
is really all you need.
You drive an old truck and loved cars so I'm curious to see what your opinion
is on all the
gadgets they're stuffing into cars now.
Thanks and have a good one.
Well, when you have kids, you love it and when you get into an accident, you do
love it.
But I will tell you what I like about my car is I do have the option of
shutting it off.
One button, just push it when it starts going beep, beep, beep, beep, beep,
beep, beep, beep, beep, you know.
I also like it when I'm parking, you know.
I can tell you that I used to be really good at parking, and once they got the
backup cameras, you sit so low in the car,
it's like you really have to be looking like, you know, okay, there's the line,
and then you got to pick an object.
It's like dead reckoning when you're flying to park it because I can't see the
lines.
I got to, like, open the door, and I was better at parking.
Like, when I back my truck in, it has no backup lights or anything like that,
cameras or anything.
Like, I'm right between the lines.
When I drive the one that has the cameras and the airbags and all that, I'm
always a little bit off,
a little too far over, a little bit of an angle, and I'm like, fuck, and I got
to get back in the car and all of that shit.
So, I don't know.
I will say with all of this technology, because of this fucking chip thing, huh,
chip?
Chip!
Remember Will Ferrell and the outtakes for Ricky Bobby?
Chip!
I don't get how that, what the fuck, how that even happened?
There's like a shortage of computer chips.
They're only made in one place, and now you got to wait, like, nine years for a
fucking new car,
and all the old cars, the value of them goes through the fucking roof.
I don't know.
It's all a strange thing.
I don't pretend to understand these things.
I personally, if I'm driving with my kids, I like the latest technology.
But if I'm driving by myself, I love driving the old truck.
I do.
All right, and that is it, my friends.
Once again, thank you to everybody that came out to the Cosmo this weekend in
Vegas.
By the way, my wife went out to go see the Usher show last night at the, was he
at the Paris?
I forget where he's at, but she said the show was incredible.
So if you're in Vegas, definitely check that out.
If you're not going to Brad Garrett's comedy club at the MGM, shout out to Brad
Garrett.
All right, that's it, everybody.
Go fuck yourselves, and I will check in on you in a couple of days.
That's it.
Go Red Sox.
Enjoy the all-star break.
NFL football.
It's only six weeks away, as is college football.
All right, that's it.
I'm done.
I'll talk to you later.