Name: 151 - Toddler Suicide Bomber
Uploaded: 2019-06-09T04:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '151 - Toddler Suicide Bomber' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-06-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '151 - Toddler Suicide Bomber' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-06-09. Transcript available.

151 - Toddler Suicide Bomber

And now, Tim Dillon is going to hell!
Welcome to Tim Dillon is going to hell, everybody.
We are here in beautiful Los Angeles, California.
It is a sunset podcast.
How about that?
If you're watching this, we don't know if we're putting it out video-wise,
but if we put it out and you are watching it, it's a sunset podcast right here
looking over the beautiful hills, not of Hollywood.
We can't afford that.
But of an undisclosed location, we won't share with you because many of you
might get cute and come see us, especially if I say something you don't like.
I'm here with Benjamin Avery.
Ben Avery is the producer of pretty much everything I do, all of those videos.
He's the co-creator of all of those videos that you love.
He edits them.
He's very funny.
He produces this podcast and he is trans.
And that is the most important thing to me.
That is why I hired him, because he's trans.
His other skills were completely a surprise.
His ability to help me in this business and to create really cool stuff was,
again,
secondary, tertiary.
To be honest, I hired him because he was trans, because he was brave and I
wanted to be around
somebody who was trans.
I didn't know that he could edit videos.
I didn't know that he could do anything like that.
That is an added bonus for me personally.
So, thank you.
I was going to say, sir, but thank you, person I like.
Great to be here in Los Angeles, California.
We had a lot of fun.
Thanks to, and I forget the guy's name.
Thanks to the guy who made that masterclass clip, which I posted on YouTube.
If you listened to the last podcast, I spent a fair amount of time illuminating
the grift
that is masterclass, this scam, where essentially they get people that you love
and respect and
admire.
They get geniuses to come and con you in your own home through YouTube.
It's like the final insult, you know?
It's like these people that you love and that you've watched their movies and
you've watched
their comedy.
They hand them boatloads of money to set up a class where they tell you all of
the wisdom
that they have learned in their career.
And you, I guess, through osmosis, take that wisdom in and do with it.
Who knows what?
We don't know.
That's the point.
Nobody's really gone that far yet.
Do you become David Lynch?
I don't know.
Maybe you're just interested in filmmaking.
And instead of buying a book, you go to a masterclass.
I would be totally cool with this if it was people that were just interested in
topics.
I don't think that's what it is.
I think there's a lot of people out there, like my mother, who's a schizophrenic.
And when I would watch her at night, after midnight, QVC, the Home Shopping
Network, that whole,
they take the gloves off when it comes to marketing after midnight.
They know who they're marketing to.
After 12 a.m., QVC just starts throwing shit out at people.
They come out and they're like, this is Jacqueline Kennedy's engagement.
We're like, crazy shit that isn't true.
And my mother would sit in her chair with her phone out and scribbling into a
notebook,
writing down the numbers of all of these things, and then calling up and
spending, just charging.
She didn't have any money.
She was charging on QVC.
So I think a lot of those people will be purchasing Masterclass.
I think that's the demo.
I don't think the demo is rational people that want to appreciate another art
form.
I think the demo is people that tweet at Marvel.
They're like, let me direct the next one.
I've seen that.
I've seen people tweet at Marvel.
Hey, let me get in there.
Let me get in there and direct the next movie in your billion-dollar franchise.
These are people that live amongst you.
Some of them aren't trolls.
It's easy to think everyone's a troll.
They're not.
There's some genuine lunatics walking the earth.
There's this guy on Facebook I know.
I'm not going to say his name, but he's clearly unwell.
And he would tweet at Marvel like, put me in the list.
And he would tweet a very serious thing.
And you're like, and then you look at the rest of his stuff.
You're like, oh, it's obvious he's not a troll.
And, you know, but Masterclass.
So I was shitting on Masterclass, even though a lot of people that I respect
are doing it.
And I would also do it.
This is what I don't ever want you people to not get about me and about what I
preach.
If Masterclass came to me with $400, okay?
Now, they went to all these other people with a lot of money.
But if they came to me with like $400 a month, just a few Pokeballs,
essentially.
And I had to come and hit you people over the head.
I would absolutely do it.
You would see me smiling.
And I'd go, well, the thing about comedy and podcasting is it takes a lot of
time.
I don't need a lot of money.
They could convince me so easily.
They could just pull me in a room and go, listen, fuck these people.
That's all they'd have to say.
And I'd go, you're right.
You're right.
What am I?
Yeah.
They go, what are you, a fucking schoolboy?
Get in there.
Teach a Masterclass.
I don't give a fuck.
You people, really, the majority of you don't deserve a government.
You don't deserve an entertainment industry.
You don't.
So the idea that you don't deserve to be dealt with honestly.
You deserve Masterclass.
That's what you get.
That's what you get.
So if they came to me, I would feel shitty about it for a half a second.
And then they'd write a check and I would fucking dance my fat ass in that
fucking YouTube room.
And I would spout whatever garbage I would say, join the platinum tier.
Be an Excelsior member of the Masterclass.
Do you want the real good wisdom?
So just know that.
Know that.
I'm not a saint here, which you know.
But a guy on Instagram made a really cool parody of the Masterclass.
And he pulled things from the podcast that I've said.
And it was a lot of fun.
And I talked on the last podcast a little bit about the Melianopolis thing at
the Creek.
And I listened to some of the episode and it's funny.
He's pretty funny.
He's ridiculous.
He's a crazy guy.
That's his thing.
What I then did on the plane to LA as I listened to the podcast he did with
Jordan Peterson and him and Jordan Peterson.
And at points, it was somewhat contentious because I think Jordan Peterson had
said something about him that Milo didn't really like.
They didn't really get into that.
But Peterson then subsequently apologized to Milo about it.
This was when Milo was essentially taken out.
If you don't know who Milo is, Milo, Milo, who cares?
He was a provocateur.
He was a tech writer from Breitbart, which was Steve Bannon's media company,
which is backed by Robert Rebecca Mercer.
They're a father-daughter team.
Robert Mercer is a billionaire.
He lives in Long Island, New York, where I'm from.
Him and his daughter are conservative, and they back Breitbart financially.
They pull the strings.
They're the money guys behind Breitbart in the same way that I think the Koch
family is behind Shapiro and the Daily Wire and Turning Point and all that
stuff.
Behind all of these things, just away on the left, Soros is behind all of these
outfits.
It's money.
It's big money.
And people with an agenda.
They have an interest in certain viewpoints being pushed forward, and then they
want certain charismatic people doing that.
So the Breitbart faction had Milo Yiannopoulos.
He was like their star, and he was going around as this gay guy who was married
to a black guy who was a conservative.
He became big from Gamergate, which was this pushback against a PC wing of the
gaming community that wanted more women in games.
I don't even know that I'm under.
I think I'm approximating this to a point where, even if I'm getting a few
details wrong, it's generally what happened.
And so you had Yiannopoulos basically going online and pushing back against the
people that wanted more representation in video games.
He became known as Gamergate.
And then he went out, and he got popular.
He was funny.
He was aggressive.
He didn't care.
He was a troll.
He was a master troll.
He eventually ended up going on a college tour in America.
There would be all kinds of protests when he showed up.
The famous one was at Berkeley.
When he went to Berkeley, you had a riot where I think there was over $100,000
worth of damage done to Berkeley.
And then eventually he ended up getting deplatformed, kicked off Twitter,
because a lot of his fans, he was supposedly organizing his fans to go after
Leslie Jones.
I don't know if this is true or not.
I don't care.
I'm going to make a bigger point.
It's neither here nor there.
I'm not a guy for deplatforming people, and anybody who listens knows that, and
that's why I didn't care that Legion had him on or whatever.
And I really don't care who has a platform.
I think everybody has a platform.
And if your arguments and ideas are better, it's your job to make them better.
And the other thing is that a guy like Milo Yiannopoulos is relatively easy to
diffuse if you're a smart person and you can argue.
And by the way, Donald Trump should have been, too.
I mean, he also should have been relatively easy to beat, to be honest.
But he wasn't, for a lot of reasons, but this shouldn't have been what it was.
Like, it shouldn't have been this unbeatable guy that nobody could handle.
Literally, towards the end, they just started asking him, what are your
policies?
What do you want to do?
And he had no answers.
And that was kind of the way to beat him.
But you kept fighting with him.
You kept playing his game, and then he won.
So Yiannopoulos gets deplatformed off Twitter.
They kick him off Patreon.
He's kicked off, I think, Facebook.
I think he's pretty much, I don't know if it's quite as bad as Gavin McGinnis,
where it was like he was unpersoned.
They remove you from all social media immediately, instantaneously.
You lose all your followers, fans, your ability to make a living, whatever.
So Milo, whatever, I keep going back and forth on what that is.
He made a comment years ago in a publication where he said, in the gay world,
there is mentorship that happens.
That he was molested by a priest at 15 years old, and he does not view it as a
negative thing.
And in gay relationships, that is more commonplace than you would imagine.
This is what he said.
He said some version of that.
And then he backtracked a little bit, and he said he was sloppy, and he didn't
make the point the right way.
And I understand what he was saying.
First of all, there's never an excuse or an argument to ever have sex with
somebody who's underage in any sexuality.
That's not, that's not, I think that's not what he was saying.
I think what he was saying is that he personally, as a victim, it didn't ruin
his life.
It didn't derail him in a meaningful way, and that he viewed it.
I think he said there are certain types of relationships in the gay community
where a younger guy is being shown the ropes by an older guy
because the younger guy can't really go to his parents because his parents are
straight and heterosexual.
So the older guy will be like, here are the gay clubs.
Here's this.
Here's that, which is all fine and good, but not at 15.
That's not what happens.
But I don't think Milo was saying that it should happen.
I think he was saying, hey, I was fucked at 15 or molested at 15 or whatever.
So the right goes and gets him.
The right digs up that article, the Reagan battalion, or the people on the
right, and they get Milo.
They, they, they, and now it comes out.
People are saying, oh, he's pro pedophilia.
Nobody cares about the details, but that's the society that we live in.
The comment was an unfortunate comment.
He didn't talk about it the right way.
And him and Peterson get into it.
It's actually a good podcast.
But, so he's gone.
Then he's gone and he spends two years essentially in obscurity.
He's over.
The college tour is over.
He's Simon & Schuster, whoever was publishing his book.
I'm pretty sure it was Simon & Schuster.
They pull out.
He's done.
He's unable to continue making a living.
He's deplatformed of