Name: Emergency Broadcast - Mullen / Dillon / Epstein
Uploaded: 2019-07-08T23:25:38.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Emergency Broadcast - Mullen / Dillon / Epstein' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-07-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Emergency Broadcast - Mullen / Dillon / Epstein' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-07-08. Transcript available.

Emergency Broadcast - Mullen / Dillon / Epstein

hey hey what's up can you hear me yeah can you hear me hello hello can you hear
me yeah i can
hear you can you hear me yeah yeah what are you watching in the background uh
the trailer for
made in manhattan what is made in manhattan with jennifer lopez with jennifer lopez
yeah
okay are you watching the trailer to see if you're sold on watching the whole
film or uh no i just
get into these like apple tv holes where we just watch trailers
just for for hours and hours and hours and never actually watch anything okay
that's good yeah
nothing wrong with that not at all what are you are you still arguing with lewis
gomez or that's
the best thing on twitter is you and lewis gomez debating a point yeah i feel
like lewis
is like um you remember that simpsons episode where homer gets under the
argument with the
parrot yes that's that's what lewis is for me yeah is every time i see anytime
i see lewis post i just
hear uh oh homer there's that bird you like to argue with i can't believe you
go like i'll look
at something that i'm like i wonder if nick's gonna go at this and then like
you'll go at it and you'll
keep going with it and i'm like this is wild you know i'll let it go after like
a day i'm like tap
down see what's funny is lewis is still fighting other people on that same
thing yes yeah yeah currently
yeah which was all it was all of us knows is fighting right he's one of those
guys that's like
i've been fighting my whole life yeah and that seems noble until you see what
they're fighting for
right and then one of those guys is like you know i'm from the streets i've
been i've been a fighter my
entire life and what that means is bullying the people at burger king because
they forgot to hand
him the receipt right so now he demands an entire refund for his whole meal
right based on a policy
he saw at mrs field's cookies an hour earlier yeah but he's a fighter you know
yeah he's a he has
morals and he's got values and he sticks up for them i love lewis and some of
what lewis says i agree with
and then some of it like i remember that time we were both on and lewis was
just basically like he was
talking about minimum wage and then he was basically like his whole concept of
minimum wage was just the
word minimum and he's like right he's like you shouldn't do the minimum and we're
like no it's
not that it's it's it's like it's not just the word yeah my favorite what i
liked the most about his
most recent thing uh the idea that like um well it was that that you know the
only people that should
have right the only people that should have an opinion which initially i he is
right i misread
him initially right because i thought his point was that uh uh you know people
who who don't have
kids shouldn't talk about issues involving having kids you know that wasn't his
point you can go ahead
and put these back on it's um it's not that you know that wasn't his point it's
that people with only
people with children in a business should talk about any issue not just not
just those issues is they're
the only ones entitled to opinion on on anything yes um right which which is
interesting i haven't i
haven't heard that particular take before i understand like to an extent and i
i understand that when he's
saying that like let's say like if i lived in a specific community i might have
more invested in that
particular community and i might have more of an idea of what's going on in
that community
but so like my opinion might be more valid but it also might not be you know
like because i'm so
close to something i might not have a valid opinion either but yeah he's very
much in the whole camp of
like if you don't have a business which gas digital technically is a business i
know the fbi and the
attorney general have their own ideas of what caught what gas digital is but it
is a business and uh he
thinks if you don't have a gas digital you shouldn't speak right yeah um well
beyond that it's like uh
uh his analogy is like because i texted him i'm like hey man i'm just like
fucking around you know
i'm not right and uh he's like he's like no no i understand he's like me too
dude he's like we're
just having a good time and he's like but uh he's like you know i just think my
analogy of like a poker
player stands and he's like you know if you don't have chips at the table you're
you don't have you know
you're if you're not if you're not you have chips in the game you're just
somebody watching the game
and it's like okay well somebody watching the game still can have an
understanding of the rules of
poker right right i mean it's like it's not like people's opinions determine
the outcome of a poker
game it's like the objective like rules and facts of the game itself right so
it's like in fact like a guy
not playing the game isn't emotionally invested so he's able to like probably
make better decisions
than the person in the game who knows like somebody yeah it's like it's
somebody with an objective view
yeah i mean it would depend i think it's so personal that you don't know what
that guy
in the audience brings to it um either but it's like one of those weird
statements it's a very lewis
statement that i kind i see what he's saying i get it i think he just wants
people to go like you've
done good you're good you know you did a good thing you have a business it's
great we love you yeah
you're good yeah yeah you have a kid you're not beating your kid like he goes
on twitter every day
he's like i don't beat my kid i'm like well that's good that's positive that
you do not hit your child
um no he's and you know he's a good dad he's actually a very very good dad oh
yeah no i'm
aware of that yeah which is good how bad because you look at epstein's shit
were you surprised when
he got rearrested or were you like not surprised um well you know i mean it's
like the thing with
epstein is like if it weren't for trump being elected nobody would give a right
you know and it's
so funny to see the narrative on on social media turning this thing where it's
like oh of course
these trump guys they care about pizzagate but they don't care about this and
it's like the epstein
is a central figure to the pizza gate conspiracy oh yeah huge you'd be you'd be
hard pressed to find
people who talk about pizzagate that aren't talking about jeffrey epstein
imagine if they were yeah if
they were pizza yeah go go on yeah they make they make excuses for trump like
the the two i've seen
mainly are that you know the prosecutor at the time like in some interview did
say like well i'll tell you
what uh in it with all the people i served like subpoenas to or talk to uh donald
trump was the only
one that picked up the phone at the time and was like oh i'll tell you whatever
you need to know
you know he was like uh uh uh the prosecutor in in miami or whatever there's
some clip of him saying
that you know trump made an effort to help the investigation and cooperate um
which is interesting
not that it exonerates him for going on the pedophile plane but uh now the
thing with the people going
on the pedophile plane yeah bill clinton goes on it 26 times and then he leaves
the secret service off so
that's very creepy is there but i i like there's been other people on the plane
like chris tucker
katie kerr maybe katie kerr i don't really know supposedly chelsea handler's
like an associate of this
guy i don't think chelsea handler's underage chicks i don't know like there's
probably some people
that are just in the proximity of this guy and this might be trump too who aren't
guilty of
the heinous crimes that other people are well you know me you know i'm not a
trump guy but um uh sort
of leaning into the idea that it's only elite democrats that want to go have
sex with children is
fun for me because it hurts them right right i i like i enjoy that narrative
personally yeah well it's a
a fun it's a good fun narrative yeah right and it's it's it's fun to watch
because it's like
when you have back to the lewis analogy but i don't have any skin in the game i
don't give a
like if it turned out that donald trump is like also an elite pedophile it's
like i didn't vote for
the guy i don't care but also hillary clinton uh murdering children drinking
their blood to cure her
parkinson's uh like they were like can we can we talk can we comment on that we
joke we joke around
about that but how and i because i'm i i sometimes think about it because i did
like a lot of shows
with like the franklin scandal and like all that which was republicans and
democrats it's like it's
everybody um what do you think there's any chance that you see like bill clinton
get
questioned or i don't know if i would say indicted but do you think that they're
dragged into this at all
um you like what are the chances that they like face any kind of consequences
for this right uh
absolutely zero very will happen right there is nothing that's going to happen
but this is the
thing with people that like conspiracies and they like all this what i've
realized is they think it's
a show where there's a series finale and they're going to get what they want
like guantanamo opens
everybody gets thrown in but it's like guys it's not like that it's a soap
opera where you just
eventually don't care anymore and you stop watching right yeah yeah uh no
nothing will and nothing will
happen at all um it's like i mean i would not be surprised if they indict him
on all these charges
and then he still only gets like six years of supervised probation right it's
it's like not
like work release it'll be the same exact thing again it's just like you know
it the idea that like
these people ever face consequences for anything is just it's a it's a fantasy
it's laughing that's yeah
right that's the conspiracy yeah i mean um is hillary clinton if you if you if
you had to guess and again
we don't have any skin in the game uh i consider you a citizen journalist um
yeah you you know podcaster
citizen journalist if you had to guess like clinton's definitely underage girls
that were that's
bill 100 right i mean there's no yeah there's no way without without a doubt
without a doubt without a
doubt now hillary what is hillary doing do you think she is into the weird
witch shit i think i think she's
pretending like she enjoys doing it to fit in but she she just wants to be
making deals with john mccain
again for defense contractors yeah right she wants to seem like she's down with
raping children uh because
that's like you know that's what you want to do if you that's politics
that's how to get ahead you got to be smart play the cards the right way
it's it's creepy do you think we'll see like big name people get mentioned like
we have chris tucker
already who's somebody that would really throw you that's like on his plane who
would really shock you
well chris do you know that's a different chris tucker no i didn't i that's
what i've been told
that's what i've been told is that it's a different chris tucker oh i i was
thinking it was weird that
you had i don't think of black people as pedophiles i don't know why right no
yeah i mean i i doubt i doubt
that the chris tucker we know and love has any idea what's even happening on on
on twitter people are
saying he's a pedophile i don't i don't think that he's he even knows that that's
occurring right
geez who is the chris tucker then i don't know i've just been told that you
know because people are
like oh it's not it's a different one it's a different guy oh well what about
prince andrew that guy is
up to his knees yeah it's a different prince andrew that guy is that one is
black that is a black man
who goes by prince andrew that's that's that's a nigerian that's a nigerian
prince
yeah i should be clear that is a black man named princess
that's that's great what um if this goes down the way it goes down and people
get named
people are going to have to defend themselves from the allegations that they
were children and that's
kind of hilarious as horrible so it's yes is there anything funnie