Name: #173 - Shane Gillis | The Tim Dillon Show
Uploaded: 2019-11-10T05:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '#173 - Shane Gillis | The Tim Dillon Show' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-11-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '#173 - Shane Gillis | The Tim Dillon Show' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-11-10. Transcript available.

#173 - Shane Gillis | The Tim Dillon Show

Hi, I'm Timmy the Trash Can, and I love trash.
Popcorn boxes, cups, and candy wrappers, mmm, they all taste so good.
Instead of throwing your trash on the floor, won't you please give it to me?
Thank you for considering your fellow patrons.
Hey everybody, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show, back in the old studio.
The Great Gas Digital, thanks to Luis Gomez and Ralph Sutton.
Back here, Rogan did a podcast from the studio, so I said, you know what?
I'm going to fucking come in here and give them a real treat.
We give them a real treat.
You had Rogan Lang, now you have Tim Dillon with Shane Gillis, very funny guy.
We love him, you know him, SNL.
They're not using you a lot this season, they will, they'll start.
They haven't written me in yet.
They haven't written me in yet.
A couple sketches that got cut.
Do you think, and I know you can't really say any of this shit, but like, could
you go on there and do like a bit?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think that, I doubt it though.
Yeah.
I fucking, no.
You know what I mean?
Like a little, like a desk piece on update.
Quick cameo.
Quick in and out.
Where they all get to boo me and be like, boo.
Something fun.
Yeah, that's the thing.
I don't think it would be that fun.
Yeah.
I think it would be fun.
Right.
Personally.
Yeah.
But I think, cause I walked past, uh, last week.
Yeah.
I walked past the fucking.
The line?
People sleep outside on Friday night.
Sick.
I always look at those people.
I go, what's wrong with you?
So I walked past them.
The city's got so much to do.
I walked past them that night and like, they all, you know, it's all these like
weirdos
with like a Saturday night live snow hat, like in a sleeping bag, looking up
from the street.
And I walked by and they were all like, no, they recognize you.
They all, of course, knitted SNL scarves and shit.
It was a group of crazy people.
Yeah.
So these are sick people.
Yeah.
Yeah.
These are sick.
Cause I always look at a show like that.
And with a little due respect to everyone who works there, because there's,
there's one
or two people on there that are funny.
I always look at a show like that and I go, how does it have fans that are like
the, the
fervor of the fandom?
I get watching it.
I get being like, Hey, this is on at sketch comedy.
And I think a lot of the fans of that show are casual fans of like, this is the
thing
that's on Saturday night.
And listen, it's a historic, it's an important show in, in, throughout history.
And it's had some really amazingly funny stuff happen, but like in its current
incarnation,
it's interesting that there are people sleeping on the street.
Yeah.
Dude.
I'm amazed that people are sleeping on the street to, to see anything.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, the one thing that would make sense to me is sleeping on the street.
If like fucking Taylor Swift was there.
Sure.
And you were about, you were about to see her in a really intimate setting.
I got to see her intimate, but no, they were just as an elephant and I walked
past and
the, this group of ladies, they were all, all ladies, a group of ladies were
standing there
and they were like, ah, Shane Gillis.
And like a couple of them were excited.
And then one of them was just like gross and gave me the finger.
Really?
And I looked back and I was like, ah, you don't mean that.
Come on.
Can you imagine being that?
Let me tell you right now.
If I saw Bin Laden and let's say I buy the idea that he killed 3000 people,
maybe he did.
Maybe he didn't.
What do I know?
What do I know?
What do I know?
It was in 11th grade.
If I saw Bin Laden, like my friend's parents were incinerated.
If I saw Bin Laden at a restaurant, I would be like, ah, it's Bin Laden.
Yeah.
You know?
It's cool.
Like the idea that people are that angry at you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If I saw Bin Laden, I'd go, ah, it's Bin Laden.
Yeah.
That's Bin Laden.
What's he about?
It's like if I saw fucking OJ, I'd be like, hell yes.
I love OJ.
I do see OJ.
I don't see him, see him, but I, I, I, I know where he hangs.
I love OJ.
I've said he's the only motivational speaker that anyone should follow.
That's true.
Because he's, I want to come back.
He's lived a full life.
You know what I mean?
Like OJ Simpson has really people that I've done it all.
No, you haven't.
Heisman.
Have you?
Heisman.
Cut someone's fucking head off.
Decapitated his wife and, and her fuck boy.
Got away with it.
Got away with it.
Walked.
Went back to jail.
Went back.
Somehow fucked himself that way.
You know?
Yeah.
He is a guy.
And I, he, he, look, he's the healthiest person on Twitter.
He's out golfing.
He's giving advice.
How is he the most well-adjusted person?
He gives advice.
He's golfing.
He's like, watch the dry.
I, like, I always watch his videos.
He looks good for his age.
He seems happy.
I, yeah.
I mean, he's true.
Do you laugh at the hate now?
Because I know there was a time when you're, you're obviously like, you're in
it and you
can't laugh at it as much.
I spoke.
I was, I was laughing.
You were kind of laughing at it.
Throughout.
Are you, were there death threats?
They're not real though.
No, they're not real.
Right.
They're not real.
So I knew that.
I was never worried about death threats.
Except at night, like before you go to sleep.
Then it's like.
Then you start thinking.
Then you lock that fucking door.
Yeah.
You're like, oh man.
But no, death threats, I didn't give a fuck about.
Most of them were pretty funny.
Like if someone would DM me just like, you fucking fat racist pig piece of shit.
I'd have to, like, I'd be walking around and reading that.
It's so funny.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
That's so funny.
Yeah.
A lot of it was really funny.
And then even today they did a fucking story.
Judd Apatow talked about me and well, they asked him about me and he, truthfully,
he
like responded really nicely.
Okay.
Like a measured response.
Yeah.
Where he was like, I don't know him.
So people said he was doing a character.
I don't know.
Whatever.
Uh, but the fucking title of the article is like SNL cast member fired for
saying Judd
Apatow was gayer than ISIS.
And it's still funny.
How do you not laugh?
Like to see that in a headline is still funny.
How do you not laugh at that?
I don't know how you don't laugh at that.
I guess there, I guess Judd Apatow.
I guess I get how he doesn't fucking really laugh.
I don't know.
If I had the money that Judd did and somebody said you're gayer than ISIS, I
would go.
Like who?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Think of what people deal with.
And maybe he did respond that way.
Maybe he was like, yeah, who gives a fuck?
Who is that?
Which is what he should have done.
It's interesting that people, uh, cause it's interesting that anyone's at, like
I get the
Twitter mob, but anyone actually being mad, like seeing on the street and being
like,
gross.
Yeah.
That's hilarious.
That's crazy.
I, when I looked back at her and I was like, ah, you don't mean that.
Like everyone kind of laughed and she smiled.
Yeah.
It was like a fun, fuck you.
It's a fun thing.
Publicly shaming.
It's a fun public shaming.
People get a good kick out of it.
You know?
Is it weird?
Have you seen any comics?
You don't have to name their names and you're certainly welcome to.
Have you seen any comics that threw you under the bus that it's awkward that
you're near?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
Right.
Like, uh, yeah, there's Lori Kilmartin.
Yes.
She threw me under the bus a little on Twitter.
Just once.
Yeah.
She did.
Yeah.
She did a show with me at the stand, came up after and was like, my bad.
I didn't know.
She was like, I didn't know you were actually kind of funny.
Lori is funny and nice, but like she sat down at breakfast with me and Big J
and we were
discussing Nanette and like, Lori was like, oh, did you guys not like it?
And I'm like, oh, you don't know any, like, we've never met clearly.
Like, but no, she was actually cool about it.
She was one.
Well, that's good.
But she did it, you know, privately.
Not publicly.
Well, that's what a lot of people.
Shit on me on Twitter and then privately.
A lot of people, the videos that I make, a lot of people will actually message
me and
go, they're so, that is so funny, but they will never retweet it.
Fucking never.
Because they'll never, because we do some wild shit and they'll never retweet
it.
Yeah.
They just go, oh yeah, it's funny.
Well, that's how it's always been behind.
Yeah.
Like when I went out to LA and went on all these fucking general meetings, I'd
go in
there and I'd be like, I think Louie is the fucking best.
Right.
And every agent and fucking Hollywood person was like, yeah, he is, but we can't,
you know.
Yeah.
Like every one of them.
So behind closed doors, everybody knows what's funny.
Well, that's what it is.
It's like, and I think a lot of people that make a lot of big money, they got
it.
They got it.
I, I realized that I value freedom over money.
Yeah.
So like, I want to be able to say what I want to say.
And if people are gonna not like it, that's okay.
But I don't know if there's enough money.
I literally realized this and I'm like, I don't know if there's enough money to
get
me to shut up.
It's just too hard.
It's too hard.
It's too hard just for me personally.
And by the way, that makes me an idiot.
That doesn't make me, I'm not being like, I'm a revolutionary.
I'm too stupid.
Like I don't get, cause there should be enough money to make me shut up.
There should be, there should be, but I just don't know how to do, I wouldn't
know how
to do it.
Yeah.
It's hard.
Yeah.
It's definitely hard.
And that's what you and a lot of people don't realize you could have went out
and did
a mea culpa and went, I was, there's never been an excuse to die.
I am ashamed of myself and I hate, but you didn't do it.
No, I was, I was asked to do that.
You were asked to do it.
And, uh, yeah, I couldn't, not because I wasn't, I was like fucking sorry about
some
things.
Like, for sure.
I didn't want to fucking hurt anybody's feelings.
Of course.
I wouldn't want to, those words written like that.
Like, that's not how I fucking said it or what the intent was behind it.
I mean, and it did hurt a lot of people.
I mean, that's what these Hong Kong protests are about.
Yeah, they're fired up.
It's about your podcast.
It has nothing to do with the extradition treaty.
That's a cover.
It's a hurt a lot of people.
Hurt a lot of people.
Yeah, I, yeah, I don't, I mean, even saying that I feel fucking corny.
I don't even know if I really hurt too many people.
Well, listen, here's the deal.
I think anything that we say, listen, this is what people don't understand
about comedy.
And I, and, and, and it's because they're not funny or they're, they don't
understand
like the way that funny works.
You cannot control how anyone takes a joke.
Like I text people and I go, are they going to get what I'm doing?
Yeah.
No, they're not.
You know, like I'll text somebody and I'll be like, I don't even, does this
person hate
me now?
Yeah.
I'm texting a YouTube kid.
I'm kind of friends with friendly with.
Yeah.
And I text him jokes and like, I don't know if he gets it.
Yeah.
I doubt it.
But you, you, did you think to yourself if I, if I apologize, I will for the
rest of my
life be owned?
Yes.
Yeah.
For sure.
I was like, well, also if I apologize for this and say like, this was inexcusable,
they're
going to find fucking way worse.
They're going to be like, what about this?
Way worse.
What about this?
Yeah.
I was like, oh, well, that was also inexcusable.
That was also inexcusable.
And then when I'm done apologizing like that, what can I do?
I can imagine them being like, you know, Mr. Dillon, did you make a joke about
pedophilia?
Yes.
Did you dress up as a temple from a pedophile island?
Yes.
Yes.
That was inexcusable.
Yeah.
I do apologize for that.
But what I always say about your situation, I'm like, Shane Gillis got fired so
that none
of us can get hired.
And I appreciate it.
My agent called me the day it happened with you and went, well, we can kiss us
and out
goodbye.
I was like, I didn't even know we were in